Dh and i always had intimacy issues due to what i know now after many years of confusion due to his anxiety surrounding sex and thinking he wasnt any good. I was always willing, but felt rejected.
So last year to my shock found out he was using sex chat forum called freechatnow. I never in a million years thought he would do such a thing, told me he is faithful, and i trusted him with my life. I decided after learning things on mumsnet not to confront right away. I know bad but went on his phone middle of the night to see if i could find out more as everything was wiped by morning. He caught me one evening, and thats when he went pale, and confessed he spoke to women for 7 years. It started as he felt terrible about himself in sex department , wanted to feel good about himself then got addicted. He exchanged nudes with women too. He said he only spoke to women 2-3 times at most as he only repeated the same thing in the sex talk exchange, and they got bored. So he claims was random women.
I felt like a bomb blew up in my life. My sister passed away from cancer few months previously so felt like i was living a nightmare. I agreed to work it through provided full honestly. He immediately deleted his account as he said he felt great shame. He does not know i actually saw a few times before getting caught , and screenshot a few things. This last year ive been crying pretty much daily and feel such intense pain. I still feel in shock and not thinking clearly. Worst year of my life.
Its been a year later when it suddenly occurred to me that one of the screenshots had a friend list of 12 women including two blocked. He made a new account with a local surrounding name, think leedsguy as he forgot his password the week i was trying to find more. Then it hit me hang on, it was a new account (although been on that website for years) , but if these were only brief, insignificant conversations of only 2-3 times, why were these women saved as contacts? How did he know who to add right away back on unless he spoke to them a lot more than just 2-3 times? I feel like i did when i first found out and sick to my stomach. Is he lying about the extent of it?? He has been completely clean for one year , trying to rebuild but i told him i needed full honestly.
Here is my question. I got screenshot of their usernames and feel i need to know truth. If he is still lying, then he blew it. I dont know much about these websites, but would it be odd to message them directly as his wife?? Would they even care ? I just must know the truth but dont know what to do. Please advise