Myself (f26) and my boyfriend (m25) have been together for 6 years, we are each others best friends, and are so compatible.
We have had a wonderful relationship, he is a really stand up guy, and a really great person. We have no doubts about spending a future with each other. We have been in a bit of a rough spot lately, stressing a fair amount over the past month about some differences in communication. He’s a more reserved guy, and sometimes I like a bit more reassurance. I’ve communicated to him that I’d like him to be a bit more communicative generally and he has been really receptive, but there’s been some emotional distance and we have been going through conversations about whether the relationship is right for us at this time.
We have both said that we want it to work, but it’s been a really tough month, arguably the hardest period in our relationship.
During that month, he got completely drunk, and ended up flirting with and subsequently having a brief song with a girl he bumped into that he knew from years ago. He then walked away, regretted it entirely (he says), went to find his friend that he had gotten separated from and they went home. Nothing further happened and nothing has happened since between them (no contact or anything).
We then had some more conversations and decided that the relationship was worth fighting for and that we would bridge the gap in communication together. We had 2 fantastic weeks of connection and intimacy in the bedroom completely reignited, as we hadn’t had much for a few months in a stressful period.
Only issue is, I found out becuase I was looking through his WhatsApp for a confirmation code for something we were trying to book, and I happened to scroll too far down and saw that a chat had been muted. I got suspicious, clicked on and saw he had exchanged a handful (maybe 6 in total) messages with this girl where she was flirting with him, and he was flirting back.
my world ended. We had a huge fight (he was very very remorseful) and I said that I needed space, and haven’t spoken to him in 2 weeks. We are talking Saturday, he’s been quite reserved on the few messages we have exchanged (I think to give me space) and ultimately we will work through the issues and decide if we should continue.
I am unsure as to whether I could forgive him. The kiss itself is sort of crap but I would move past that, however it’s the not being up front about it to me. I truly believe that he would never do this again, and that this is completely uncharacteristic of him, but I would worry about taking him back and having it happen again.
any advice? I’m obviously hugely in love with him and picture a future with him…