Partner's constant joking and hyperness now feels draining rather than fun

[Shani85]

We have been togeyher for 11 years he always been a joker but recently its becoming really annoying to me. When we met i was 31 and didnt mind the constant joking around but i am 42 now and i just want peace and quiet. We domt live together but when he stays first thing in the morning i wanna get a cup of coffee and sit in bed and watch my tv for half an hour before i have to go to work but as soon as he opens his eyes he wants to joke around like the first thing that come out of his mouth is a joke for example he will say things like 'you were farting all night' years ago i would of found that funny but its annoying to me now. Also when comes round he knocks on the door and when i open it he always does a silly dance before he comes in he cant just walk in normally. When we spend whole days together i am drained from tbe constant joking around and hyperness. Maybe ive got grumpy lol but i just want maturity and peace

I think you've just outgrown him.

You have indeed outgrown him. Time to make him your ex partner. Thankfully you do not live with him so the process of you separating from him should be a little bit easier.

He sounds like a dickhead.

I think you’ve posted about him before. Aren’t you just flogging a dead horse?

Agreed - you’ve outgrown him. That would be very wearing from anyone never mind an adult!

Well he's not going to change if he's been like for 11 years, and you've outgrown him from what you say. Perhaps amicably split before you start to feel worse about the situation.

Relationships don’t have to last forever to be worthwhile. Have an honest chat, if you’ve mentally moved on then do him the favour to let him find somebody who will appreciate him [preferably not me, he sounds awful]

I'd be so repulsed by this I wouldn't have got past date number one.

Tell him not to call by anymore and delete his number.

As others have said, sounds like you’ve outgrown him. You’ve either matured/changed and he hasn’t, or you don’t fancy him anymore so suddenly everything he does annoys you. Either way it’s not fixable I’m afraid. This is clearly who he is and he’s not going to change, nor should he have to. Time to go your separate ways

That sounds insufferable OP. I wouldn't like that at all. I once dated a guy that lasted about 2 months as he was like that and it was draining and embarrassing.

I think it's time for a heart to heart to tell him how you are feeling and that you cant do it anymore. I doubt he can change but maybe he can. Only a chat will work this out, in whichever way it goes.

That’s who he is it would be unreasonable to expect him to change so all you have to decide is do you want to accept it or not?

You’re not compatible anymore and that’s ok. Just end it and enjoy the peace and quiet.

You have changed. He has not. You are not a prisoner in the relationship.

No kids? Don’t live together? You prefer peace and quiet?

just end the relationship then surely?

This is terrible advice. What a horrible and disrespectful way to break up with someone after 11 years. Wouldn’t want to be dumped by you!

She has written on previous threads that the man shouts at her, he's horrible and disrespectful 🤷🏻

I dont think I could stand 11 minutes of this let alone 11 years. I'm cringing at just reading it.
Get him binned!!

He sounds like he’s sensed you’re unhappy and trying to over compensate

11 years
and you would treat someone like this
shame on you @Naurrr

This would drive me mad. Even my 12 year old son doesn’t act like this

Not accepting shame, thanks.
He's just a boyfriend, and he treats OP badly, per her other threads. He deserves dumped.

You farted all night.

Ugh. I'm not a fart joke person. I couldn't be bothered to muster up a response.

Ok so I wasnt aware of past threads

Probably better to not shame strangers on the internet.

I think OP that he hasn’t changed but you have and we are all different , some women like this kind of jokiness jack the lad persona and some don’t . If you no longer do then it depends how much you actually like him and care, if you do and it’s these aspects pissing you off, then it’s worth an honest chat, if it’s more than just these aspects and they are part of a picture then it would be kinder to end it

That's who he is, always has been and always will be. You've gone off him, it happens. Some people would be sad if their jokey partner got serious so I don't think it's apt to make it a 'grown out of him' situation as if he's at fault for this. Even if his jokes aren't to people's tastes, she liked them for long enough for him to assume she liked this part of him for keeps. But it's also okay to change (or not), so just chalk it up to having run its course and don't string him along. Someone else may find his antics hilarious and you can find someone more simpatico.