Namechanged. Been with DH over two decades. Most of it has been good. Recent years have been a bit rocky - the usual midlife challenges.
A few months ago, DH cocked up over something that had a financial impact on our family. We handled it and moved on. Very soon afterwards, I questioned the validity of another financial decision - ie we'd just had to make a big payment out (his debt), and he was pushing to buy something else (for himself), and I said 'maybe we can't afford it right now'.
He reacted explosively, where he was shouted at 'when our kids have left home, we should split up, because this marriage isn't working anymore'. Once he'd calmed down, he was incredibly apologetic. Said he felt guilty about the money thing, stressed about some other stuff, blah blah. He said he didn't mean it and marrying me was the best decision he ever made etc.
Problem is, I can't seem to get past this in my head. Any time we have any degree of conflict, however minor, I come back to this. I tried to explain this to him and he was dismissive. He doesn't seem to get that I can't just wave a wand and forget what he said. I also don't know if I truly believe him that he didn't mean it - I don't blurt stuff out that I don't mean, however angry I am.
Thoughts?