New profile. My head's all over the place at the minute, sorry for the detail.
I joined a new workplace six months ago. Got on well enough with everyone. One day out of the blue, a male colleague confided in me he was struggling with mental health. I don't have a background in that so I don't know why he chose me out of all the familiar faces, but I was there for him. Over time, he shared more and more and oddly, rather than feel uncomfortable, I became happier that he was trusting me over others. I wanted to look after him. We bonded more and became friends. I fancied him a bit, but didn't make any advances - not the place.
Last month we went on a work's do and, out of nowhere, we kissed. I was drunk, he was sober as he was driving.
He said the day after he enjoyed it.
We went out again a few weeks after, just us two after work as friends. We kissed again. We've kissed since.
I sent him a text and said I've developed feelings for him. He's also admitted he has feelings for me, so it's not one sided. In person after, he said he wants to try and make it work but he's got various reservations. Main one being it's a family run company. His family. Relatives work alongside us and are in senior management roles. He isn't senior.
Since then we've agreed not to use the word "relationship" and we've not broadcasted anything, but agree we're closer than friends. He brushes his hand against my leg, we go for a hug in an empty room when we're struggling, he's sent me a nude (I consented). I stayed the night at his once. This isn't just friends.
I've fallen completely in love with him but just last night, despite all the above, he finally said he wasn't sure if it will work, mainly because of work optics and the age gap. And said that if it didn't work out it'd be a disaster with us still being at work together. He doesn't want to lead me on and hurt me later.
Terrified. What do I do here? We're both single before anyone wonders.