How can I stay firm when ending things after being ghosted?

[Alonegirl]

My boyfriend will be home in about 30 minutes. After ghosting me and avoiding my calls, he asked to talk.
I already know I want to end the relationship, but I don't want him to manipulate the conversation, make excuses, or somehow make me feel stupid
I want to stay calm, ask the right questions, expose any lies or contradictions if there are any, and leave the conversation knowing I stood up for myself.
What questions would you ask in this situation? What are common manipulation tactics I should watch out for? And how can I keep the conversation focused on accountability instead of getting pulled into arguments or blame-shifting?
Any advice would really help.

To be honest if you want to end it and know he’s likely to pull these tricks, then I would avoid trying to have a discussion and ask questions. Haven’t tell the truth so there is no point. Just end it, and say there’s nothing to say other than wishing him the best. Don’t give him the chance to try to get into your head, he doesn’t deserve it and he will be wanting to have the chance to manipulate you. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

You can do all of that by refusing to engage with him. If you know you’re ending it anyway, is there any reason to talk?

He left a deep wound in me through his constant ignoring and disappearing.
I wanted to take away at least some of his peace by confronting him. You might think I'm crazy, but I'm angry, and I've been pushed to my breaking point.
I was honest with him. I never cheated on him. That's why this hurts so much.

You’re emotionally involved. It’s going to end in a punch up or a bunk up, both of which won’t help you move forward

I doubt you will get the 'closure' you are looking for.
You'll affect him more by bring straight and direct from the start and ending it as soon as he walks in the door.

Wanting him to be uncomfortable is an understandable desire after he hurt you. But you aren’t going to get the closure you think you will - much better to just end it. Then show him the door. It’s only in movies that ex-lovers see the error of their ways and beg forgiveness.

I totally understand why you want that conversation, but it's highly unlikely you'll get it. He won't give answers, he won't apologise or admit he's wrong.

Just keep it very short and simple - that's the stylish, empowered way to handle this. Say you want to break up properly because you don't wan a relationship of any sort with him any more.

Don't budge from it. No need to explain why.

He only wants to see you so he can tell you that he believes everything that went wrong is your fault.

You want to finish with him anyway, and what's the point in taking all that blame-shifting shit from him, so tell him not to bother coming and that you have decided to end it.

What's there to be discussed, you've made your decision. All you need to tell him is that there's nothing else to say.

Text him and tell him not to come over. You are done with the relationship and do t need to talk about it any further

When you say 'coming home' is that because you live together?
If not, tell him not to bother coming.
If you do, there is no point trying to have a meaning ful discussion; just tell him you want to end the relationship, and will have to workout the logistics of housing.

If you want to upset him then don’t do exactly what he wants.

He wants to talk.

So don’t talk.

Quick message. “I have realised that I don’t want to be in a relationship with you any more. All the best for the future.” And then block.

He get no closure. No last word. No telling you why it is all your fault. You have just fucked off and left him to stew.

Do you share a mortgage? If not, text him he is not to go to your property, thanks, you're no longer attracted to him, and the relationship is over.

Anything else will be an ego massage for him.

We are living in same house

Your second post is a bit vague, but if he is an arse end it don’t overthink it.

Please check my first post

WOW!!! How are you being ghosted when you live together, you see him every day. FFS 🤦‍♀️

He is 💯 giving you the boot 🥾

Just say you've ended it and you don't want a discussion. Your mind is made up. End of.

I don't think there is any point going over it if you want to end things. Just say that, ask him to leave and keep your dignity. For every accusation you hurl at him, he'll throw one back and you don't need to know. Sorry, OP. These things are never nice but debating who was right is irrelevant if things are over. Good luck.

Just focus on the practicalities - how to separate amicably.

Don't get emotional or try to ‘find answers’.

I wouldn’t ask any questions aside from “can you give me your keys” if he has any.

When can I pick up my stuff?

You just tell him you don’t want to continue in the relationship and it’s over. You wish him all the best.

Enjoy the angry sex

Missed off quote so reposted

Sorry, I had also missed that you live together. Whose house is it? Who will be leaving?