My husband of over 20 years had been avoiding talking to me and spending time with the family. I felt something was really wrong and asked him if he wanted to work on the marriage and his answer was that he wanted a separation.
i was in total shock as i knew we had problems but thought they were behind us.
we started couple counselling but it still felt very off.
then i discovered that he had taken his mistress on an expensive one week holiday in Asia instead of working / be by himself.
when he came back, I told him I knew he was cheating on me but without showing him the proof.
instead of apologies he blamed me for his affair , on the fact that the marriage has not been working for years and how unhappy he was. He told me the affair started a year ago and he lied to protect me and above all the children.
I felt sick to think of how he was sleeping with two women at the same time and how brazenly he lied to our faces.
now we are divorcing but he’s becoming hostile and treats me as if I’m his enemy.
he wanted to stay in the house even though he has plenty of money to rent a place. He painted himself as a victim, being cut off from his house and his children by a bitter wife (he’s staying with a single friend in a house, the kids told him they don’t want to see him until things calm down or divorce is through).
i am so heartbroken and bewildered as how the most trusted person in my life can behave like this.
the children (older teenager and at university) are so devastated and hurt too but he said it’s nothing to do with them. He said his family is now just him and the kids. I’m cut out of his life as if he’s thrown me over and got on with his new life.
the husband that I’ve been married to for over 20 years has turned into a monster or is that the mistress's influence???