Strange chance meeting with friend, what to think?

[Genuinelyataloss]

Would be keen to hear MN views on something strange that happened with a friend two weeks ago that I keep turning over in my mind.

We'd just been to a gig with my husband and three kids and were walking home, when we caught up, on a fairly busy stretch of London pavement, with a good friend of ours, who was walking in the same direction as us. We all called out to him, and as he turned around, it became apparent only in that moment that he was in fact with a woman, who was not his wife and whom we'd never seen before. He sort of acknowledged my husband but completely blanked the other four, introduced him to the woman and then swerved off and crossed the road with her.

On the face of it, a bit of a nothing burger, right? But if it really was nothing, why not stay and chat?

He's not been in touch to offer an explanation or acknowledge the weirdness, which I guess is entirely to be expected.

I'm due to see them both tomorrow, and I just feel somehow funny. Would welcome your thoughts!

I think the fact he introduced her could be a good sign. Surely if she was an affair partner he’d just give you all a wave - hope you’re all well - gotta go! Putting her name out there is huge!

DH has several friends he goes to gigs with, a couple of them (at least) are female.
Unless they are spotted holding hands, kissing or cuddling or whatever, I wouldn't assume affair.

This sort of reminds me of a conversation I had with a colleague years ago.

She was saying to me, how embarrassing would it be to be seen at Ikea with another woman at the weekend?! People would assume you were lovers!

I was gobsmacked. It did strike me that she has some sort of....unresolved thing going on.

Something like this would never occur to me in the first place but the idea I might alter my behaviour (I go to IKEA all the time at the weekend with a female friend) in the event of this possibility is unthinkable.

It is completely possible the guy was just at a concert with a mate or even mates, end of.

You want him to call you and offer you an explanation? You're absolutely deluded... Why would he explain his life to you?

Some people seem to be not getting this- it's not that this man was seen with a woman who isn't his wife, it's the fact that he behaved in such a strange way. I would just openly say "nice to bump into you last night" in front of the wife. That way, if something is going on, you're making it clear that you're not going to stay quiet out of embarrassment. And if it's all innocent, you're not making any accusations or prying unnecessarily.

Why would you say something in front of his wife? What right do you have to cause trouble in someone else's relationship?

If he’s not having an affair, why would it be causing trouble?

The man was seen walking along a road with a woman - he wasn't holding hands or kissing or anything else. Why does walking along the road with someone signify they are having an affair?

Even if he is having an affair what has it got to do with anyone else? You have no idea of the state of the relationship.

as i have already said, if you keep quiet, assuming the worst, and yes there could be loads of non bad explanations, you are denying the woman the opportunity to get tested if she thinks its necessary, and for me that is huge.

because it would be a kind of gotcha moment and it would be a shock to the wife who is totally innocent in this. Why would you do that if she’s a friend of yours?

Why does walking along the road with someone signify they are having an affair?

It doesn’t. Any other straw men?

When this happened to me, I didnt need to do anything. I didnt say anything other than hello as he walked by with his lady friend. He left his wife very soon afterwards.

If he’s not having an affair, why would it be a shock to the wife?

Heaven forbid a dude on a night out doesn’t want to stop and buddy up with an entire family and three kids on the street. He probably just wanted to get on with his adult evening. And I’d imagine some of the fluster was you 5 standing there with disapproving looks. As others have said ‘main character syndrome’ in action.

I’m not sure he would have introduced the woman by name to your husband if he was having an affair with her? Maybe he / they were in a rush for concert / train whatever.

Sorry but no, that’s not a good move. You take HER aside and tell her what you saw. Not him. If it’s nothing then it won’t be an issue for him. You don’t give cheats an opportunity to further deceive their partners. All that’ll happen if you take him aside is he will make up bs about you in order to discredit you, terminate the friendship and keep you away from her.

Talk to her. Not him.

Not a shock but incredibly awkward

If he’s not having an affair, why would it be awkward?

Because you’ve literally just accused him and tried to out him to his wife and could come across as shit stirring
I doubt conversation would flow very well after that

No, you haven’t. Click on “Show quote history”.

That absolutely is insinuation by bringing it up in the first place
if it was a male friend nobody would be bringing it up with his wife

Nobody would say “nice to bump into you last night” if he had been with a man?

You’ve lost the plot.

I’m really confused what your on about

my point was if your out with a couple then randomly throw in the conversation that you saw the DH with another woman

the obvious conclusion would be you’ve said it to insinuate he was up to something

why would you bring up seeing them when you spoke to them

person 1 I saw you yesterday
person 2 I know I spoke to you

the whole purpose of making the comment would be to tell the wife her husband was with another woman

as I said shit stirring

The original comment was from me. I suggested saying "nice to bump into you last night". Why would you not say that to someone you bumped into the night before? If nothing is going on, it means nothing at all. If something is going on, it's a low drama way of making it clear you won't keep secrets by omission.

This.

Theres always posters who say “it could be an open marriage” and it always turns out it was a cheating scumbag of a DH.

Real, functional, happy open marriages are very few and far between. Manky cheating dickheads are ten a penny.