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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Nightclub Antics

90 replies

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:10

Was out in town yesterday and got chatting to this lady at the bar. She seemed very nice and told me she fancied this guy who was in the bar. Fast forward 30 mins there she is getting fingered by this guy on the dance floor😟. Do people have no self-awareness or respect now? Or is it just the lust of alcohol.

OP posts:
SilverPink · 22/02/2026 10:17

How did you know that? Were you watching closely?!
Anyway, hardly nothing new, happened plenty of times back in the 90s.

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:18

SilverPink · 22/02/2026 10:17

How did you know that? Were you watching closely?!
Anyway, hardly nothing new, happened plenty of times back in the 90s.

Well it’s quite hard to miss when a guy has his hand up a skirt! You can’t say that’s normal behaviour tho surely

OP posts:
NoYourNameChanged · 22/02/2026 10:20

No, no one has any self awareness or
respect anymore, no one ever. In fact, it’s the rules, when you go out, you must be fingered by midnight, otherwise you turn into a pumpkin. ‘Twas never like it in my day 👵

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:21

NoYourNameChanged · 22/02/2026 10:20

No, no one has any self awareness or
respect anymore, no one ever. In fact, it’s the rules, when you go out, you must be fingered by midnight, otherwise you turn into a pumpkin. ‘Twas never like it in my day 👵

Sorry what😂

OP posts:
NowStartingOver · 22/02/2026 10:34

SilverPink · 22/02/2026 10:17

How did you know that? Were you watching closely?!
Anyway, hardly nothing new, happened plenty of times back in the 90s.

Same, this was happening in the 00s too. It's nothing new.

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:36

NowStartingOver · 22/02/2026 10:34

Same, this was happening in the 00s too. It's nothing new.

Is it acceptable then?

OP posts:
category12 · 22/02/2026 10:38

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:36

Is it acceptable then?

Personal choice

Were you hoping to be the fingerer?

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:40

This reply has been deleted

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Whatineed · 22/02/2026 10:41

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Misogyny has been around forever though!

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 10:42

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:36

Is it acceptable then?

It's only acceptable to people who think sexual acts in public are ok.

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:44

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 10:42

It's only acceptable to people who think sexual acts in public are ok.

Let’s be honest if they weren’t drunk it probably wouldn’t of happened

OP posts:
NotnowMildrid · 22/02/2026 10:44

Grim 🤮
No self respect from either of them.
They should have been kicked out.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/02/2026 10:44

category12 · 22/02/2026 10:38

Personal choice

Were you hoping to be the fingerer?

Or maybe the fingeree 😂

MyballsareSandy2015 · 22/02/2026 10:46

Christ its like the inbetweeners movie 🤢

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 10:52

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:44

Let’s be honest if they weren’t drunk it probably wouldn’t of happened

What so being drunk excuses it?

Do you also excuse violence, murder and antisocial behaviour on the grounds that they wouldn't have done it if they weren't drunk?

Lennonjingles · 22/02/2026 10:53

I think people watch this too much on tv, they think it’s ok IRL, no wonder nightclubs are closing down.

ValidPistachio · 22/02/2026 10:56

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 10:52

What so being drunk excuses it?

Do you also excuse violence, murder and antisocial behaviour on the grounds that they wouldn't have done it if they weren't drunk?

They’re illegal. Touching someone’s genitals, presumably discreetly and with their consent, in a nightclub rather than, say, a children’s playground, is not.

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:56

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 10:52

What so being drunk excuses it?

Do you also excuse violence, murder and antisocial behaviour on the grounds that they wouldn't have done it if they weren't drunk?

No it’s probably the lust of alcohol that made them do it

OP posts:
chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:57

ValidPistachio · 22/02/2026 10:56

They’re illegal. Touching someone’s genitals, presumably discreetly and with their consent, in a nightclub rather than, say, a children’s playground, is not.

Not in a public place tho! PDA gone too far

OP posts:
chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 10:58

Lennonjingles · 22/02/2026 10:53

I think people watch this too much on tv, they think it’s ok IRL, no wonder nightclubs are closing down.

havent seen it on tv myself

OP posts:
Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 11:03

ValidPistachio · 22/02/2026 10:56

They’re illegal. Touching someone’s genitals, presumably discreetly and with their consent, in a nightclub rather than, say, a children’s playground, is not.

As I understand it engaging in a sexual activity in public comes under the law of Otraging Public Decency, even if both parties are consenting.
In OP's example where the woman in question was drunk then the issue of consent has to be considered: was she too drunk to give informed consent?

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 11:04

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 11:03

As I understand it engaging in a sexual activity in public comes under the law of Otraging Public Decency, even if both parties are consenting.
In OP's example where the woman in question was drunk then the issue of consent has to be considered: was she too drunk to give informed consent?

No I don’t think she was drunk. She was tipsy and definitely consented. But the alcohol probably made her feel more inclined to do it

OP posts:
Thundertoast · 22/02/2026 11:08

You know what, every time I see comments about how people are more sexually liberal these days, or how people cheat more these days due to social media and phones, I think of just HOW MANY people have men in their family tree who were alive during 1900s who had second families in secret, who had children from affairs, who abandoned their families to start new ones without a backwards glance, how many tales there are about people being conceived in the back seat of cars, round the back of dance halls... what im saying is that humans are feral animals and always have been!

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 11:11

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 11:04

No I don’t think she was drunk. She was tipsy and definitely consented. But the alcohol probably made her feel more inclined to do it

You said in your earlier post

Let’s be honest if they weren’t drunk it probably wouldn’t of happened

Drunk? Tipsy? I dont think you are in a position to make judgement s on her state of mind regarding consent. They have enough difficulties in court cases deciding this.

chelseyw23 · 22/02/2026 11:18

Olderandwiserpossibly · 22/02/2026 11:11

You said in your earlier post

Let’s be honest if they weren’t drunk it probably wouldn’t of happened

Drunk? Tipsy? I dont think you are in a position to make judgement s on her state of mind regarding consent. They have enough difficulties in court cases deciding this.

Edited

It was the alcohol that probably made her horny is what I’m saying!

OP posts: