Not sure what to do here, bit of a dilemma.
Single friend of mine popped over for a coffee and she was going through her tinder profile and we were having a laugh at all the poor pickings the dating world seems to offer nowadays (as you do). A profile came up that was my DH's ex wifes partner of 6 months. Hes 'just looking for some fun' and apparently in an open relationship. He was active online at the time I saw it (today).
I get on fine with DH's exW but we're not friends in the sense of a friend you'd have a chat and a coffee together or message each other, unless its about my DSC (which is quite rare). Shes a nice person though and doesnt deserve this behaviour from him. From what I know and have seen her post online, she considers this man to be her absolute world and they have just started doing stuff at the weekends with all their kids together in her words 'as a family'. Definitely not an open relationship from her standpoint (both their SM says 'in a relationship with X from ....' and shes made references to us about how shes so happy now shes found someone to build a future with).
My dilemma is, do I tell her hes on there and actively looking for hookups or keep my nose out in case she thinks Im just trying to be mean and stir up trouble (which im not). I have a screenshot proof so cant be told I'm just making things up to stir.
Im coming from two angles with my concern on whether I say anything:
- My exH was a serial cheater, it left me broken mentally and feeling like an absolute mug when we divorced. Had to go through a lot of therapy to start to trust again. I dont want my DH's ex to build her hopes up and put her trust in this man whos clearly cheating and end up broken emotionally.
- I dont want my DSC to build a relationship with him and his kids for it just to be ripped away due to his lies and for DSC to be devastated (tbh, I did feel doing family things with the kids after only a few months of them being together was too quick but not my place to judge that).
I've not mentioned it to my DH yet as I know it'll play on his mind the same as me and for the same reasons re DSC, but knowing how their relationship was when they first divorced, if hes the one to say something and she does split with her new partner, she'll try to lean on my DH emotionally and he doesnt want that level of interaction with her (nor do I tbh) and hes previously had to draw strong boundaries in that sense the first few years they were no longer together.
WWYD?
- Keep your nose out its none of your business and let it take its course and she'll find out when she does; or
- Yes she has a right to know before she builds a life around his lies with DSC getting caught in the fallout?