Strippers and Strip Clubs

[agh20678]

My partner is going on a stag do and I've seen messages on their group chat that they're thinking about arranging a party bus to pick them up from the airport. The party bus includes a 15 minute fully nude strip dance. I'm really not happy about it, I think a strip club is one thing but a private nude strip dance for him and his friends is another. What's your opinions?

I'm a man (for context) and friends of mine organised stag dos similar to this. I stopped going because it seemed icky and wrong to me, so I totally think you have a point. However, my decision meant that I was seen as the "weird one" by the other guys in the group, who would get defensive about it and say "what, it's fine, everyone does this, it's normal, it's not like we're actually cheating". So I can well understand why you'd prefer for your partner not to be involved in this activity, but he'll need to be willing to be the odd man out if he does try to go against the grain.

How would he feel about you having a 15 minute fully nude strip dance from a man?

Yeah I wouldn't be happy. I think its disrespectful and grim. A DP or DH drooling over another woman's nude body?!? Same if it's the other way round too. What has your DP said about going?

Its not just looking at the nude woman either. It's touching and interaction.

You should have a look at some of these websites that specialise in organising stag dos for men like your partner and his pals. It will turn your stomach.

It's men objectifying and buying women. .
I would end my relationship over this.

@Fromseatlewithlove the thing is I haven't mentioned it yet, he doesn't know that I've seen it. I didn't bring it up at the time because I thought it's a stag do it's not that bad, but now the more I'm thinking about it the more uncomfortable I feel. I don't know how to bring it up now. Friends are saying I don't really have the right to say anything as it happens on a stag do but I think it's weird!

It's cheating. Even if they are all doing it. I wouldn't be happy but I would say something myself. Before he does it.

My Dh was one of the odd ones out on a stag do that involved men inc the stag visiting a brothel.

My exDH said 'what goes on tour stays on tours' - he had a stripper...

I don't get why stag do's are still like this.

" Not that bad" ?

I don't get how it being a stag do makes absolutely unacceptable behaviour acceptable.

If his mate is preparing to exchange vows with his bride,who presumably he is already supposed to be in a committed relation ship with, why does that give him and his pals- presumably also in most cases in supposedly committed relationps- a free pass to buy women for their titillation and sexual gratifiction?

To me this is fundamental to how he views women and I dont see how you can not raise it with him.

I don't see how it's different from a club, both are gross. Won't people see through the windows? Misses point of thread 😆

They are limousines with darkened windows.

Stripper taxis, stripper boat cruises, stripper meals, lap dancing clubs, stripper clubs and pubs, wrestling with naked strippers etc etc.. It's a whole industry catering to these disgusting stag dos.

What a bizarre thing of your friends to say. Course you have the right, you're his partner and rightly so you're uncomfortable about it. Ask him if they're going to a strip joint or anything and if he lies and says no, then you know he can't be trusted. If he tells you what is being planned, you can openly say how you feel about it

If you do raise this issue with your partner, I think his reaction will partly depend on how he feels within this friendship group, and maybe his personality in general. Is he happy to be the one who stands up and disagrees with his mates sometimes? Or does he really want to fit in and be one of the lads and not rock the boat?

Your partner’s friends are disgusting. Why is he mixing with such low life?

Or OP doing the stripping.

The videos of male strippers stripping for women are much worse. Women of all ages all having a touch or suck

Get better friends.

"think a strip club is one thing but a private nude strip dance for him and his friends is another. What's your opinions?"

And you know this what happens in strip clubs too, right?

A "party bus" with a stripper sounds absolutely grim. But I guess they are starting the holiday as they mean to go on.

This would be relationship ending for me.

Grim. I couldn’t be with a man who goes on laddy trips.

Which has absolutely nothing to do with the op's issue.

@NewcastleNancy "I don't get why stag do's are still like this."

Why? Because men love nothing more than drooling over bums and tits and have done since time began.

Exactly. You can pretty much guess how the rest of this trip is going to pan out based on how it's starting.

Performing a strip dance on a moving bus sounds potentially dangerous. I'd be asking if the local council have checked this out to ensure its Health & Safety compliant, properly certified, first-aider onboard etc.

Well yes I think male strippers are gross.
But if you are trying to compare the whole industry designed to provide stripper and lap dancers etc on tap for men on stag dos with the comparatively tiny amount of women who have male strippers at their hen dos then you are being disingenuous.

In these strip taxis the naked women are sat on the laps of the guys. Similarly in many countries it's normal for strippers and lap dancers to provide sexual favours - happy endings and oral sex .

There is absolutely no comparison.

My husband would cringe himself inside out getting a lap dance! He's always said he can't see the point. And no, he's not saying that to please me, I'm not that bothered either way. He watches porn, and had a lot of sexual partners before meeting me etc. He just thinks it's naff.

I wouldn't be happy about it happening in a car/bus though - have I read that right? There'd be no way to avoid it, so you'd have to join in, and no doubt find yourself also joining in with the smutty comments that would follow.

I think the whole point is if he would go or not surely?
I know my Dh would not go but that’s probably because he knows my views and knows it would cost him his marriage.
I don’t understand why someone would marry someone who had just enjoyed such a stag do.
I’m sure if hen parties were full of sexual encounters with other men there would be a shortage of men at the alter after.

You casually mention he watches porn and has had a lot of sexual partners before you as if you’re trying to assure us he is normal?
Do you like objectifying men and have you had a lot of sexual partners before meeting him that he’s proud of to announce to the world so you seem normal?

@KPPlumbing