Threesomes

[Appleday55]

Why are so many men obsessed with threesomes. I might just be chatting to a guy online for a while, and he will say "will you have a threesome with me and my friend". Eh no!

Or worse, i actually met up with a guy off o.l.d in real life. He was nice. We went on five dates and then had sex. The next day he text me and said he wants a threesome with me.

I said no. I just feel it's so ugh. Is this alot of men's fantasies these days?

That's not something I've noticed actually.
Where are you finding these men?

If anything, most men I know have never had one and are perfectly fine never having a threesome.

I assume it’s the sort of porn they like. It’s not an unusual fantasy but I think it works best if you’re OLD for casual sex like FWB or ONS.

I should have specified.

These are men on online dating.

Why?

Four words: four tits, two fannies.

Yes i can see why they find it appealing.

But you don't say it to someone when you have just met them!

First date, lets go for a drink
Second date: do you want a threesome?

No I don't!

Just porn is so mainstream now that men are emboldened to boundary push very quickly with any woman. Unfortunately, us women haven't helped with the situation: bonnie blue /Katie price types. Crude and kinky rituals being paraded in pride and celebrated as "progress" (in front of children) the whole Christian Grey thing and it being advertised as "women are going mad for this". Open discussions about sex toys and masturbating etc in offices and in bars. ONS and FWB being seen as progress for women and anyone who disapproves as a girdle wearing nunn.There's no decorum anymore. And this sexual "liberation" has now gone too far. To the point it's crass, crude and frankly distasteful and women who are more "vanilla" (I e like normal bog standard sex) are afraid to air that or risk being seen as a "prude".

Lots of people do that though.

I do not. I think, don't shame a human for their sexual choices, but don't do things that are against your own choices. It's good in a way that they are bring it up early. they can piss off before you get feelings involved.

As I've aged I think that men and women have differing drives. Men are driven to scatter seed and further life that way, we are driven to give off 'I'm fertile' signals, get pregnant, then withdraw and nurture that life.

I agree. If a man is only interested in "4 tits" and "2 fannies" they're only interested in mere body parts , not the woman attached to them. How on earth have we "progressed" in society to accept that sex is merely providing nipples and holes to play about with. This current society is absolutely screwed unless we make a pretty damn rapid u turn and start advertising ourselves as people. Old fashioned values weren't so stupid after all.

Men always use that argument, that they are driven to scatter seed to impregnate women

I pointed out to my ex that it was bullshit as he wanted the pleasure of having sex, without getting women pregnant.

It is hard to know how men and women are naturally sexually as we are so heavily influenced by culture.

Men are told if they have sex, it adds to their worth.

Women are told if they have sex, it takes away from their worth. Sluts etc.

We are heavily influenfed by these culturwl mindsets when it comer to having sex.

If women were not shamed and called sluts, we would probably be having sex with a lot more people

Yes! That is why i hate being asked to have a threesome. I know he just sees me as body parts to slot into his threeeome.

He doesnt see me as a human, or care about my wants at all.

I think the majority of men are up for "four tits, two fannies" as @BlueEyedBogWitch so succinctly pointed out. So now they've got 24/7 wall to wall porn it's become normalised in their brains. Coupled with OLD, which kind of also adds a certain detachment from reality/societal norms. Also, let's not forget good old male entitlement which in many ways is actually easier to express these days (ironically) than it ever was.

I seem to find the ones obsessed with anal. I’ve lost count of the times a man asked me about anal after about 3 messages

Ah this brings back memories of OLD about 15 years ago. I had a stock response.
Yep. I’m well up for that. And I’ve just shown my 6’5” body building best bi sexual male best friend your picture and he says you’re hot so let me know when.
Funny how fast they disappear.
Try it

There is a school of thought that, until land ownership & inheritance via the male line became a 'thing', that who the child's father was was unimportant & women would have multiple partners.

Also (I'm prepared to be corrected on this point) I understand that in the middle ages & through Tudor times, they thought a woman couldn't conceive if she didn't have an orgasm.

This has always been my response. 😜

😱OMG is that the time? I must go now. No, I'll call you.....😂

Well that escalated quickly!

IMO it is not a huge 'thing' for many and perhaps is more reflective of the OLD pool of men? Perhaps with a few of the other things (anal) people mention, and perhaps that is why many are still single?

I can't say any friends of mine think that this is normal / want / hope particularly, and I have no interest in threesomes or anal (always thought it would be a bit sh*tty)....If I am dating, it is because I am looking for a partner, friend, lover..

Move on and keep hunting.

(I say this as male, and as someone who had a threesome before...)

Maybe I'm old fashioned - OK I'm old fashioned. I met my DH on OLD, it was more than 3 months of seeing each other at least 3 times a week before we had sex. OK lots of snogging in the car, but it meant that when we finally got around to sex we'd hot to know each other really well & I felt totally comfortable being naked around him.

PS it was great!!!

hahahaha... i'll bet they run a mile. Best answer.

My worst experience was a man who was quite attractive, good job, own home, articulate - a lot of green flags - who after a few days messaging said can I call you?

So I gave him my number and we had a chat on phone which went well. Next day he called again and I was aware he was making erm strange noises. Took me a second to realise he was wanking!! I hung up and he tried to call again then messaged asking if i was ok. Like he really has no idea why id put phone down on him.

Btw he was in his 50’s

Nothing wrong with threesomes, though v annoying when guys aren't upfront about what they want.

On a funny/ creepy note - I know a guy who went on a swinging website as he was keen to experience a threesome. He was a single guy, wanting to join a couple. He connected with a beautiful couple and met them at their house. When he arrived only the guy was there. He kept saying the woman was on her way. He was messaging her whilst they waited, and at some point he said the woman wanted them both to be 'ready' and they should watch some porn together to prepare. At this point the guy I know started suspecting something was up. Turns out there was no woman.

First - I don’t believe it’s that usual.
Second - be glad you found out what he’s like early on before you’re emotionally too committed.
Finally - I think the best response would probably be ‘Sure, I’m up for it - as long as I can choose the other guy’.

@SquishedMallow so much for romance eh !! I’m glad I’m not dating these days

I had a guy from OLD ask if we could go to mine for the second date and watch porn. As well as asking if I’d consider inviting my best friend along because he wanted to watch us ‘make out’. The entitlement of some of them is unbelievable

UGH!