Husband behaviour, is this normal?

[Aurora2022]

This is a bit embarrassing but I recently found a pair of my underwear in dh bedside table. He's obviously taken them from the laundry basket. I've put them back in the laundry to be washed. I haven't said anything to him as I can't explain how I feel. I feel very weird about it, is it an invasion of privacy?

Why don't you just ask him?

As pp said, ask him. Just casually say, “have you been taking my knickers because I found a pair on your bedside table.”
Don’t come across accusatory, just curious.

I don’t really see what the issue here is… it’s your husband

oh god, this again.

The number of mumsnetters who find other womens knickers in the laundry basket is quite staggering really 😏

Who put's the washing away?

Maybe re-read, that’s not what’s happened.

It’s weird OP, if feel a bit violated if DH did this without asking/consent which I’d likely not agree to. It’s ok to feel however you feel.

I haven't asked him because he can be difficult to talk to. I know he'll get defensive.

Would it not just be that he likes the smell of you? He will know that you know he does it because you have moved them.

We both put washing away. But these aren't clean and no clothes get put in there anyway.

I'd be asking him and I can't understand why anyone would want to handle dirty pants. Yuck.

Think this is a bigger problem than your knickers. It would appear you can’t openly talk to your husband for fear of his response. Is he emotionally abusive?

That's a fair question. I don't think so, more like not much emotional understanding/ emotional intelligence.

Your husband likes the smell of you, finds you sexually attractive and has been using a pair of your used underwear while masturbating. I literally cannot imagine why this would be a problem but no doubt everyone will be along soon to brand him a disgusting perverted sex pest whom you should immediately cease contact with,

Men like to masturbate into used knickers.

Thank you. This is the right answer.

If he wanted to wear women's undies surely he'd buy some and hide them more subtly, not steal yours and cram them into his bedside drawer?
I reckon he might just be wanking off into them? I know men who do that sometimes?! Haha. Weird but true.
Yeah, ask him. If he looks really super ashamed try and make light of it, you might get a more honest confession that way.

Agreed. And for once, it's actually good to hear that it's your underwear you found and not someone else's 😂

I used DHs boxers to dust the windowsills the other day before I threw them in the wash... Maybe that's what he was doing with them?! 😀

Would they fit him? Maybe he's been wearing them and hid them because he doesn't want you to know.

They'll be his wank sock (only they're knickers)

it amazes me the number of people on here who are in a relationship and simply cannot seem to speak to or ask their partners a simple question?

'what are my pants doing in your drawer'? its not difficult! unless there is a massive drip feed we are yet to hear, just ask him!

but i suspect what the OP really wants to know is, is my DH weaing my knickers round the house when i am not home?

i was going to write this but thought it a bit cras .. thank you, they really are likely the pair he knocks one off into

Who is to say if it's normal. It's quite well known how common this phenomena is though. It could be that he's been doing it for a long time, but he now wants the added kink/adrenaline rush of you finding them.

And maybe he's gambling that you won't raise it with him, and he can get off on the fact that you now know but haven't said anything - which he may take as some form of admission that you approve of him doing it. Which may turn him on even more.

I can't think of another reason why he would leave your dirty underwear 'by accident' in a storage space that he uses, that he knows you may well access.

On the other hand it could be a test of some sort. Because if you raise it with him, he could turn it around on you, asking why you have been going through his things.

@Aurora2022 Reality is he is probably enjoying the scent of them or masturbating on them. You will either be excited or appalled by that, but a conversation about it is definitely needed, especially if it is not something you are comfortable with.

ha ha this made me giggle, i am guilty of using DH's underwear for cleaning the cat flat before i put them in the washer...