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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My boyfriend was consoling another woman on valentines day

47 replies

El1508 · 15/02/2025 16:34

The day started well, he came to mine and we chilled out I said I was going to cook some food and he said he had to nip home to help his family with something and he promised that he would be back. A few hours later he said he couldn't come because he had to deal with his sisters because of the family issue and I was fairly understanding about it. Upset but understanding.

A few hours later, he sends me a snap of a woman's hand and I freak out. All the thoughts are running through my head. Is he cheating on me? He reassured me he wasn't but then I found out he was consoling his female friend on valentines day. I am then very distressed at this point. I manage to calm myself down and go to sleep but when I wake up he posts a video of them all doing shots and he tells me that he ended up staying at hers with these other guys.

I confront him about this and he is not up for any discussion he says he needs to think about mine and his relationship but now I'm in deep anxiety and I am really unsure what I am supposed to do.

OP posts:
Clocloxx · 15/02/2025 16:37

His not committed to you sorry. Best to leave sooner then later

ItsChristmasEEEVEJeff · 15/02/2025 16:37

oh just dump him.

Liv999 · 15/02/2025 16:38

He's obviously trying to make you feel bad by sending you the snaps and telling you he stayed at hers, bin this one off and find a guy who wants to spend Valentines Day with you

outerspacepotato · 15/02/2025 16:40

He left you at home on a romantic holiday to "console" another woman and drink and stay at her place. He also broke a promise to you to do that.

Oh, hon, just no. Throw this one back.

DorothyStorm · 15/02/2025 16:41

He is trying to make you feel shit and worthless so you never question him. You will accept any crumb he throws you as you have no self respect. He doesnt care about you.

WatchingTheClowns · 15/02/2025 16:41

Sorry, he doesn't want to be with you. Get rid.

Ang3leyes · 15/02/2025 16:42

I wouldn’t speak to him for a month, at all. What a bastard

TwistedWonder · 15/02/2025 16:45

Manipulative game playing cunt - just dump this wanker without any more communication

JaneFoe · 15/02/2025 16:47

Sounds like he's trying to get you to dump him. Give him what he wants.

MummaMummaJumma · 15/02/2025 16:48

My luv, do not speak to him again. He has completely disrespected you. Either end things now, with your head held high or end things a few years down the line when his selfish behaviour becomes the norm and you have enough. Please choose the former!

madamweb · 15/02/2025 16:50

He's not worth any more of you energy.

Stophittingyourbrother · 15/02/2025 16:51

What are you supposed to do? Be thankful he’s shown his true colours now and you don’t have to waste anymore time on this relationship. Who does that to someone they are supposed to care about?

LynetteScavo · 15/02/2025 16:58

He wants you to dump him so he doesn't have to actually use adult words with you.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/02/2025 17:03

Um, if your boyfriend stays with another woman on Valentine's Day you should consider your relationship fucked Flowers

LEAVE HIM

Glorybox2025 · 15/02/2025 17:04

He is a terrible boyfriend. Let him go.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 15/02/2025 17:05

Why bother?

Hayley1256 · 15/02/2025 17:06

How long have you been together? I think it's time to move on

2chocolateoranges · 15/02/2025 17:06

If I had woken up to that his morning, the relationship would have been ended. Don’t put up with this, men treat women the way we allow them to treat us. Raise the bar!

desperatedaysareover · 15/02/2025 17:06

Upshot, he’s not willing to enter into a discussion about the fact he told you a lot of old pony, then went out drinking and stayed at another woman’s house. Honestly, no discussion required. Don’t even dump him. He’s just dumped himself. Sounds like a total fanny.

Endofyear · 15/02/2025 17:09

Sorry OP but he's an arsehole! I'd tell him where to go, you deserve better 💐

DaringLion · 15/02/2025 17:13

Please do better for yourself .Hes a first class twat

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/02/2025 17:14

TwistedWonder · 15/02/2025 16:45

Manipulative game playing cunt - just dump this wanker without any more communication

I could not have phrased this any better. You deserve so much better than this awful man. Imagine down the line if you have children with him and how he would continue to treat you. Ghost him without a second thought and do something kind for yourself over the weekend. See friends, take yourself to the pictures or whatever makes you happy. You got this

PerkyRoseDuck · 15/02/2025 17:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bloom15 · 15/02/2025 17:17

He is a manipulating piece of shit - dump!

smallsilvercloud · 15/02/2025 17:20

He's lying, it's his new gf, just block and move on.

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