Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My boyfriend was consoling another woman on valentines day

47 replies

El1508 · 15/02/2025 16:34

The day started well, he came to mine and we chilled out I said I was going to cook some food and he said he had to nip home to help his family with something and he promised that he would be back. A few hours later he said he couldn't come because he had to deal with his sisters because of the family issue and I was fairly understanding about it. Upset but understanding.

A few hours later, he sends me a snap of a woman's hand and I freak out. All the thoughts are running through my head. Is he cheating on me? He reassured me he wasn't but then I found out he was consoling his female friend on valentines day. I am then very distressed at this point. I manage to calm myself down and go to sleep but when I wake up he posts a video of them all doing shots and he tells me that he ended up staying at hers with these other guys.

I confront him about this and he is not up for any discussion he says he needs to think about mine and his relationship but now I'm in deep anxiety and I am really unsure what I am supposed to do.

OP posts:
MonthsofTherapy · 15/02/2025 17:22

He sent you a picture of her hand? How old is he? 11?

Come on OP. Get rid

penelopelondon · 15/02/2025 17:22

He's more interested in this woman than in you, he'd rather spend valentines with her. Says it all. This man doesn't love you. Ditch and move on.

SheRaaPrincessOfPower · 15/02/2025 17:32

Regardless of Valentine's Day, he sent you a photo of her hand Confused then posted a video of himself and a woman having a lovely time together and then he stayed over at her house.

And now he needs time to think about his relationship with you?

HappyintheHills · 15/02/2025 17:34

JaneFoe · 15/02/2025 16:47

Sounds like he's trying to get you to dump him. Give him what he wants.

This

RubyRedBow · 15/02/2025 17:37

He’s a liar and picking another woman over you. The Snapchat’s are pathetic too.

I don’t think he would hear from me again other than to tell him where to go.

AlleyRose · 15/02/2025 18:03

You're supposed to dump him.

That's what you're supposed to do.

Cosmosforbreakfast · 15/02/2025 18:05

How long have you been together? I think you might be the other woman OP. Attached men always go missing on Valentine's day. It's particularly cruel to send you pics and let you know he's enjoying the evening with what is presumably his actual girlfriend. Why wouldn't his friends wonder where you were? Telling you he has to think about the relationship is 'punishing' you for challenging him. Make the decision for him. Send him a message saying you're done, then move on. You deserve a lot better.

Diningtableornot · 15/02/2025 18:05

Dump him. Why should you put up with his disrespectful lies.

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 15/02/2025 18:10

I confront him about this and he is not up for any discussion he says he needs to think about mine and his relationship but now I'm in deep anxiety and I am really unsure what I am supposed to do

Not up for discussion 😂

He sounds like he is your parent rather than your partner. While he’s considering your relationship I would make things easier for him by telling him to take his controlling arse elsewhere. Don’t wait to see whether he has decided in your favour or not.

OwlInTheOak · 15/02/2025 18:12

It's over. Just end it now and save yourself more wasted time.
There's no future realistically, and dragging it out will just add to the upset.
Get on a dating site and set up a date to take your mind off him.

ThatNimblePeer · 15/02/2025 18:19

.

DorothyStorm · 15/02/2025 19:33

AlleyRose · 15/02/2025 18:03

You're supposed to dump him.

That's what you're supposed to do.

This. He is a coward and doesnt want to be the bad guy.

Chuchoter · 15/02/2025 19:35

Sounds like he wants you to put a fight for him.

I certainly wouldn't.

Snowmanscarf · 15/02/2025 19:42

Why did he lie and say he was with his sister?

MsDogLady · 15/02/2025 22:17

@El1508, he always intended to be with this OW on V-Day. He is showing you loud and clear that you are not his priority. The photo of her hand was an extra kick of cruelty to throw you off-balance.

Bin this faithless Loser and look for a better quality person who is committed to you and only you.

queenie2025 · 15/02/2025 22:20

Firstly, I'm so sorry your valentines day turned out this rubbish. This guy is messing with your mind and sounds immature. Bin him off before he has the satisfaction of doing so to you. You deserve better.

frozendaisy · 15/02/2025 22:28

Say it was the other way round, he was sat at home on Valentine’s evening, waiting to cook you food, you say “just got to pop home’ then later send him photos of another man”s hand and doing shots together, what would he do?

And do something like that.

Because the utter disregard you would have to feel about your partner to do this, is how he feels about you.

So fuck him OP you just don’t need this, and men say women create drama!

SwisswolvesLilley · 15/02/2025 22:42

He is most likely cheating on you, and gaslighting you into accepting it. This chump has got to go. Get rid now for your own sanity and wellbeing, you don't deserve this.

Lostworlds · 15/02/2025 23:15

Consoling a friend is kind but he lied about where he was going, he sent you a picture of a woman’s hand which seems weird and then got angry at your for feeling upset about this.
He doesn’t sound like a great catch, most people would be upset about the lying and then making you feel rotten for staying home alone whilst he was out.

Sorry it seems like he jumped at the chance to spend time with her and now making you worry about doing something wrong.
I would dump him!

El1508 · 16/02/2025 11:21

I just wanted to thank you all I have dumped him good riddance to bad news. I feel much happier thank you all for your kind words and advice.

OP posts:
Bloom15 · 16/02/2025 12:52

Well done OP - you are well rid! Onwards and upwards

bouncydog · 16/02/2025 12:56

I’d be tempted to message him “I’ll save you the bother - you’re history!” Then block him - however the better way is ignore and block and move on.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread