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Original poster

Birth order - did you marry the same?

42 replies

Mintup · 03/12/2024 15:43

DH and I are both 2nd children. We both have big sisters.

They have both married oldest brothers.

My mum and dad are both youngest children.

Is this really common?

OP posts:
Girlmom35 · 03/12/2024 15:49

No, and actually I'd even expect it to be the other way around.
We're quite often attracted to people who hold qualities we don't possess ourselves, so older and younger children seem more complementary.
I'm an olders, and I married a youngest child. My mum is a middle child and all of her long-term partners so far have been youngest children.

SereneCapybara · 03/12/2024 15:52

DH is first born, I'm middle. D older sis is married to a first born I think, though I might be wrong. He's way the tallest but might not be the oldest. D Bro is youngest and married a somewhere in the middle child from a massive family. D Bro and DSis both married into big clans. I married into a quiet 2DC family.

SockQueen · 03/12/2024 15:52

No, I'm oldest of 2 sisters, DH is youngest of 2 brothers. My sister's DH is the middle of 5! My mum is oldest of 3, dad is middle of 3. So can't see a pattern there.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/12/2024 15:54

Yes, both oldest children but different numbers of younger siblings. Mum and dad both only children.

Purplestarballoon · 03/12/2024 15:54

I am eldest and I married eldest, DS married youngest and our DP are both 3rd so rings true for us!

glassof · 03/12/2024 15:55

My dad is an only child, mum is middle child

I am oldest, dh is youngest

Aunt is youngest, uncle oldest

Sister is middle, bil is oldest

No doesn't work in our family!

SkyeBlue28 · 03/12/2024 15:55

I am the second oldest of 4 and my husband is the youngest of 3.
It’s not a trend I have noticed but it’s interesting.

Bbq1 · 03/12/2024 15:56

I'm the youngest of 3 and Dh is an only 3 years older than me.

crazycrofter · 03/12/2024 15:57

No, I'm oldest of five and dh is fourth of five! My mum is oldest of four and my dad is third of four.

Anotherfrozenpizzafortea · 03/12/2024 15:58

Most of my longest and best relationships have been with similar birth order folk.

I'm the oldest sibling/cousin/grandchild.

My closest friendships are all older or single children. My favourite cousins are the eldest. My DP is also the oldest sibling/cousin/grandchild.

Whilst we do seek relationships to contrast our own experiences, I believe we seek out those who have similar experiences foremost, and certainly those stand the test of time.

Original poster
Mintup · 03/12/2024 15:59

Agreed, I think DH and I have often bonded over the years on our "annoying big sister" stories ☺️

OP posts:
SabreIsMyFave · 03/12/2024 16:03

Never given this any thought before!

I am the older sibling of 2. DH is the older sibling of 2.

My brother is the youngest of 2, his wife is the youngest of 2.

My (female) cousin married a younger brother of 3 and she is the youngest of 2.

My other (female) cousin is an only, but married the oldest of 3.

My mom was the youngest of 2. My dad was the middle one of 5, so that's not a youngest + youngest.

Quite a few in my family are like you though OP! Weird!

LimeYellow · 03/12/2024 16:05

Me and DH are both the 2nd (and youngest) child. We each have an older brother. My brother's wife is the oldest (like him). It's not true for my parents though.

TrippTover · 03/12/2024 16:05

I did (youngest of 2)

My parents did (oldest; not of the same number siblings)

My sister didn’t.

DH’s brother didn’t.

DH’s parents didn’t.

Think it’s just coincidence.

I feel bad for me tho as I was the only one in the family not an oldest child - no one understood me 😅

PantherchameleonsocksforChristmas · 03/12/2024 16:06

My brother is the only one who follows your rule, OP. He and his wife were both 2nd children.

My sister is the eldest and married a 2nd.
I'm the youngest (of 3) and married to 1st.
My mum was eldest and my dad was 2nd born.

PantherchameleonsocksforChristmas · 03/12/2024 16:07

My brother is the only one who follows your rule, OP. He and his wife were both 2nd children.

My sister is the eldest and married a 2nd.
I'm the youngest (of 3) and married to 1st.
My mum was eldest and my dad was 2nd born.

Changeyourfuckingcar · 03/12/2024 16:08

No, I’m the middle of lots, he’s the youngest of three. Only one of my siblings is married, and that’s oldest (as with me, of lots, obviously!) to middle of three. My BIL is oldest married to oldest, though.
My parents (although long since divorced) were oldest-oldest, albeit of different sized families.PIL aren’t, they’re middle-oldest.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 03/12/2024 16:08

No.
I am 1st, my DH is 7th.

romdowa · 03/12/2024 16:09

Dh and I are both eldest siblings and both have a younger brother. I've never really thought about if it is unusual or not

AnotherEmma · 03/12/2024 16:10

Depends. If someone is the second child but their older sibling died when they were a baby, they tend to have "oldest child" traits despite being technically the second child. Plus some added "stuff" from the family trauma of child bereavement. Would you expect that child to marry a first or second child?

ARichtGoodDram · 03/12/2024 16:14

I'm the youngest of 4 and DH is the eldest of 2.

ARichtGoodDram · 03/12/2024 16:15

PIL didn't either. MIL is eldest of 6 and FIL was the 9th of 15.

Returntotravail · 03/12/2024 16:15

Yes. My husband and I are both youngest siblings. And you can tell I think!

My mum is the oldest and my dad the youngest and again, I think you can tell -shes much bossier than him but he's more entitled!

yikesanotherbooboo · 03/12/2024 16:16

No; I didn't and nor did DSis , DD or my DPs.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 03/12/2024 16:16

Actually yes! Both me, my sister, and my DH and his brother have