DP had another woman's shorts in his bag

[Mooninlibra]

My DP and I recently went for a night away at a hotel. When we got back he took all the clothes that were in his bag and left them on the sofa. As I was tidying up I found a pair of women's size 16 shorts amongst the clothes that were definitely not mine. When I asked him about it he said that he just shoved all the clothes that were in the hotel room into his bag as we were getting ready to leave and thought they were mine. When I said they were not mine and I had never seen them before, he said they must have already been in the hotel room.

I just can't help but think he has been cheating and they were already in his bag as I'm sure I would have noticed if someone elses clothes had been left in the room once we got there, also the hotel was clean and tidy when we arrived.

Do you think it could be possible he is telling the truth?

I would think the same as you.

I think it's possible he's telling the truth but I agree it's very suspicious. You obviously now need to be on the look out.

Could have been under the bed or down the side of a radiator. Hotel housekeeping is not always perfect. I once found a wallet in the safe!

Do you have reason to suspect be might be cheating?

It would be quite hard to leave and forget your shorts though if you had gone to someone’s hotel room?

My friend once slept on a sofa bed in a hotel room and the next morning pulled out a pair of knickers, that were not hers, from the mechanism that she hadn’t spotted because it was dark and she’d been drinking. Gross but proves anything is possible!

Unless you had put all your stuff in drawers and he checked they were all empty before you go otherwise it seems unlikely.

Seems extremely unlikely that he wouldn't have noticed a pair of shorts on the floor when entered to room let alone placing his own clothes on top of them and putting them back in his bag. Would certainly be asking some more questions here.

I understand your concern.
However, if this is an isolated incident and you've had no other signs of cheating, I wouldn't assume that the worst is happening.
Just be extra alert. Not for any additional clues, because if he has been cheating and you've caught him with the shorts, he'll be much more prudent now. But look out for changes in behaviour, working late or going out more often, using phone more than before, having locks on messaging apps, empty browser history, ...

@Mooninlibra if there are is no other reason to presume cheating and you have a good relationship I would believe him. The fact you’ve jumped straight to thinking he’s cheating implies you don’t trust him.

I checked into a hotel once and found a pair of knickers in the lamp shade! If they’d gone unnoticed and my DH packed them as we left presuming they were mine then I’d fully believe him, not automatically think he was having an affair with a woman who liked to go commando.

Hotel rooms can appear to be clean but the housekeepers don’t have a lot of time, not sure they would thoroughly check every possible location for left over clothing in every room after every check out.

Does he stay away in hotels regularly using that bag?

How old is the bag?

We found a dirty sock in our hotel bed once
Not impossible

What does he use the bag for? When did he last use it? I’d be suspicious too but I’d keep my mouth shut and look for more clues.

We've found things left in hotel drawers before. I think it would be easy to do if he didn't notice them when he put his stuff in. He probably just scooped everything up together when you left.

No he never stays in hotels without me

I just wanted to add this for reassurance I work for a quite well known holiday company cleaning holiday lets and people leave clothes and things all the time and it get stuffed in places you couldn’t imagine. Normally under the bed or down the side of the bed, under the sofas, on the floors. It wouldn’t be too difficult to pick up someone else’s left over belongings depending on how thorough the cleaners are. Before I worked where I do now and if I hadn’t seen it so often when belongings get left behind I’d have been very suspicious too. Has he given you any other reason to doubt him?

I would be inclined to believe him.

Has he been acting in any way that you would doubt him? Was he flustered or defensive when you asked him about the shorts?

You say he doesn't stay in hotels without you, does he go anywhere with that particular bag?

My ex and I once came home with a "new" outfit for me. He'd just grabbed everything from every wardrobe in the room, and turns out some previous woman had left some stuff hanging in one of the wardrobes, which he'd just grabbed and stuffed in our bags. Part of it was actually a half decent pair of trousers which I washed, kept and wore. Shamelessly.

It would never have crossed my mind that my DH was lying and had something to hide. We would have laughed at it and binned them.

You need to give him the benefit of the doubt. Of course you're going to be on high alert for a while.

He usually takes that bag to work

Do you have any other reason to be suspicious? I would be outraged if someone accused me of cheating in an otherwise happy and healthy relationship over something like this

I would believe him. They may have been missed when the hotel staff were cleaning the room before you stayed there. You also said he does t stay in hotels without you.

Has he been acting odd recently? Why are you suspicious? There must be something off for you to be thinking like this. If dh told me the same, I'd believe him.

He wasnt flustered or defensive or anything when I asked him and he usually uses the back for work

How long did you stay away?

Did he put his stuff in the drawer? I think it would be easy to miss a pair of shorts left in a drawer if you just chucked your clothes in on top.