On an almost daily basis I swing from wanting to take his name to wanting to keep mine to wanting to double-barrel. I just need a mechanism to decide! I don't know how to make the decision!
I've been with DH for 10 years, got married this year. My maiden name is 4 syllables, his is 2, so it would be quite long as a double barrelled surname. We have 2 DC, the eldest has double barrelled as we had him very early in our relationship and I wasn't sure DH (then DP) would stick around - no fault of his, my own cynicism. By the time we had DC2, he'd proven to be a brilliant dad, we had a mortgage and we were engaged, so we just gave DC2 my husbands surname, expecting to all have the same surname once we were married.
Main reason for taking his name is a kind of romantic sense of having a family name. Main reason for not wanting to change it, honestly, it makes me feel vulnerable. I have no rational reason to believe he'll cheat on me, but I was a child of divorce, my stepdad was also the victim of a horrible cheat, and my first relationship ended over cheating so I think I'm just scared it will happen to me again. I'm sure this is common but for some reason none of my friends now have divorced parents so I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
Main reason for not having double-barrelled is that he flat out refuses - which then makes me double down about not changing mine. Also as much as DC1 (aged 5) loves having a long double barrelled name at the moment, I worry it will burden him as he gets older, and I feel guilty that my reason to push for double-barrelled is only my ego/vanity.
Also, my maiden name is my mum's maiden name, which she reverted us both to after my dad cheated when I was a baby.
Thanks for reading if you got this far :)