Knickers, big hugs. I had no idea things were this bad. Lots of love to you, dd and bump. My aunt found herself in a very similar situation to you, including the age gap between dc. What she focused on was it wasn't her fault when xh was being a complete arse to her, but rather him preying on someone much weaker than himself. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you, I really do mean that