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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Adultwork profile - help!!

36 replies

PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 01:03

Hi I recently found Numberous emails in my partners sent items referring to “your adultwork.com profile, hi I saw your profile on adultwork.com etc” sent to females email addresses, these seem almost like automated emails as they all say the same thing bar one or two which have the additional line “can we meet” on the end. I also found an email in his inbox with his user name and the verification email. He is denying all knowledge and says he has never set up an account. I asked him to put his email address into the forgot password section on the login page and it come up saying this account has been deactivated. Does anyone know how this site works? What would cause these emails to send. It is when he clicks on someone’s profile or is there more to it? Do you have to pay to have a login with the site? Would really appreciate if anyone can shed some light. We have been together for years and have children together and these emails date years back into our relationship :(

OP posts:
Babadook76 · 28/05/2024 01:10

He joined up and from the sounds of things either later deactivated his account or changed the login details. You do not have to pay to join and tbh it does sound like the emails are potentially spam from joining the site. He’s definitely been registered and active on the site at some point though so you have to ask yourself why he’s lying. Did he use sex workers in the past and is trying to hide it? Or has he recently been looking at or using sex workers? The fact he’s still getting emails suggest the usage has been recent as he surely would have unsubscribed from unwanted emails from prostitutes?

PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 10:20

Thanks for replying. It does seem like spam type emails but it’s from his sent items rather than inbox so very odd! I don’t think he realises they were there in his emails otherwise he definitely would have deleted them!

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 28/05/2024 11:17

OK. I have deactivated my account from dating sites in the past. For a while afterwards, I still got marketing type emails trying to lure me back until I unsubscribed from their emails.

So received emails might be this.

But sent emails? What scam would jnvolve fake sent emails being generated? How would that even work? What would be the purpose?

Scam or marketing emails are sent by a website to try and elicit money or engagement from the recipient. What would the possible gain be from somehow generating fake sent emails from someone who was completely unaware of them? It doesn't make sense.

If they read similarly, I'd assume that's because he has a standard wording he uses.

If nothing else, whilst you have been together, he has had an account on a website for seeking prositutes. Accounts can be re-activated any time he wants to use it and deactivated during the times between.

The simplest explanation is usually the truth - if there are sent emails from his account to prostitutes, it's because he has been emailing prostitutes.

WhatIsLife24 · 28/05/2024 11:49

Hi OP. I’m sorry. My ex husband also had an account on adultwork. Found that he had been booking to see prostitutes. Simply that is the only reason to use that site. Some prostitutes or sorry ‘escorts’ post videos etc that you have to pay for but otherwise it is free to use the site. You can send messages or quite often ring/text prostitutes directly to arrange to meet them.
If the account is deactivated then he has definitely had an account on there at some point. Whether he has actually met anyone though I don’t know. But either way it’s shitty behaviour and I completely know how you must be feeling right now

bibop · 28/05/2024 12:47

That doesn't sound good. Why would a man create an account on that website unless it's because he wants to pay a woman for sex? Are you comfortable with the idea that your partner has considered it? I wouldn't be.

roses321 · 28/05/2024 12:51

My ex had an account on this and claimed that he was watching the free videos. I couldn't see any free videos at all and reading this I'm convinced he was using it for prostitutes especially when I found hidden viagra and a tampon that didn't belong to anyone under his car seat one day. I'm so glad I left. I had no idea until I read this that it was used to book prostitutes though... that's crazy. A lot of things make sense now.

To OP - it's hard to give advice because it depends on your boundaries, but honestly, i had the same experience as you and he was lying. He had profiles in other places as well.

bibop · 28/05/2024 12:52

roses321 · 28/05/2024 12:51

My ex had an account on this and claimed that he was watching the free videos. I couldn't see any free videos at all and reading this I'm convinced he was using it for prostitutes especially when I found hidden viagra and a tampon that didn't belong to anyone under his car seat one day. I'm so glad I left. I had no idea until I read this that it was used to book prostitutes though... that's crazy. A lot of things make sense now.

To OP - it's hard to give advice because it depends on your boundaries, but honestly, i had the same experience as you and he was lying. He had profiles in other places as well.

I also think it's quite grim to be watching free videos from prostitutes, even if he wasn't using their services. It sounds like a blessing you're no longer with him!

PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 19:25

GreyCarpet · 28/05/2024 11:17

OK. I have deactivated my account from dating sites in the past. For a while afterwards, I still got marketing type emails trying to lure me back until I unsubscribed from their emails.

So received emails might be this.

But sent emails? What scam would jnvolve fake sent emails being generated? How would that even work? What would be the purpose?

Scam or marketing emails are sent by a website to try and elicit money or engagement from the recipient. What would the possible gain be from somehow generating fake sent emails from someone who was completely unaware of them? It doesn't make sense.

If they read similarly, I'd assume that's because he has a standard wording he uses.

If nothing else, whilst you have been together, he has had an account on a website for seeking prositutes. Accounts can be re-activated any time he wants to use it and deactivated during the times between.

The simplest explanation is usually the truth - if there are sent emails from his account to prostitutes, it's because he has been emailing prostitutes.

Completely agree about doesn’t make sense to be a scam from sent emails but they’re not written out emails as such they’re like automated almost as if linked to his account. I don’t know if there is something you can do on the site which prompts an automated email this is what I’m trying to work out as the way it’s written isn’t something he would have typed up it has links in it to the website etc. this is the part which I can’t understand. I don’t know if when you message through the account it links it to your email or what. Thanks for responding.

OP posts:
PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 19:29

WhatIsLife24 · 28/05/2024 11:49

Hi OP. I’m sorry. My ex husband also had an account on adultwork. Found that he had been booking to see prostitutes. Simply that is the only reason to use that site. Some prostitutes or sorry ‘escorts’ post videos etc that you have to pay for but otherwise it is free to use the site. You can send messages or quite often ring/text prostitutes directly to arrange to meet them.
If the account is deactivated then he has definitely had an account on there at some point. Whether he has actually met anyone though I don’t know. But either way it’s shitty behaviour and I completely know how you must be feeling right now

Thanks for your message. So sorry that you had to go through that. I don’t know if you’ll know the answer to this from your experience with your ex husband but do you know if you can use the site without an account? Or can you only access the escorts details / make a booking with an account?

OP posts:
WhatIsLife24 · 28/05/2024 19:56

You can go on the website and browse escorts etc and see their pictures without an account. But I think to access any of the video stuff or to message any of them via the website/email you do need an account. However many escorts have their numbers on their profiles which you can call or text directly to arrange a booking, so you actually could still book a prostitute without an account anyway I imagine although I can’t say I’ve tried!

Youknownothingsnow · 14/07/2024 09:20

PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 19:29

Thanks for your message. So sorry that you had to go through that. I don’t know if you’ll know the answer to this from your experience with your ex husband but do you know if you can use the site without an account? Or can you only access the escorts details / make a booking with an account?

You can use the site without an account and view some camgirls. However, without verification on the site you could not make a booking with an escort.

The majority of people offering services on AW are offering cam, direct chat, texting and phone calls. You can set it as one of your preferences to not accept any guest interaction so if they don’t have an account they can’t contact you.

Youknownothingsnow · 14/07/2024 09:23

PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 19:25

Completely agree about doesn’t make sense to be a scam from sent emails but they’re not written out emails as such they’re like automated almost as if linked to his account. I don’t know if there is something you can do on the site which prompts an automated email this is what I’m trying to work out as the way it’s written isn’t something he would have typed up it has links in it to the website etc. this is the part which I can’t understand. I don’t know if when you message through the account it links it to your email or what. Thanks for responding.

Yes when you receive a message on AW it sends an automated email to your registered email.

Youknownothingsnow · 14/07/2024 09:26

roses321 · 28/05/2024 12:51

My ex had an account on this and claimed that he was watching the free videos. I couldn't see any free videos at all and reading this I'm convinced he was using it for prostitutes especially when I found hidden viagra and a tampon that didn't belong to anyone under his car seat one day. I'm so glad I left. I had no idea until I read this that it was used to book prostitutes though... that's crazy. A lot of things make sense now.

To OP - it's hard to give advice because it depends on your boundaries, but honestly, i had the same experience as you and he was lying. He had profiles in other places as well.

Yeah, you can’t really watch “free” videos without buying credits. Then spending on how many you buy you get so many “free views” of content. Cam girls have private galleries with videos and photos that you have to pay for (which you would use your free view for) as well as more pg free gallery.

MiddleagedBeachbum · 14/07/2024 09:36

Lots of men copy and paste messages on dating sites, so perhaps that’s what he did on that site, which is why they’re all the same and look like spam, he just messaged loads of women to try and get attention?

Numnumbirdy · 14/07/2024 09:55

Can you ask him to reactivate his account and show you the past activity?

Discotrousers · 14/07/2024 09:56

When you asked him to enter his email and it came up account deactivated OP, did you look to see if there was a 'reactivate your account' option? If so he could be deactivating and then reactivating his account when he wants to use it and you should be able to see his activity on there if you reactivate it yourself. Users of that site can leave feedback so you may find the absolute proof you're looking for of exactly what he's been up to.

Roldep · 07/09/2024 00:36

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Biggaybear · 07/09/2024 00:59

Just in case OP is still reading this thread I can verify that you contact "escorts" on Adultwork via the site so no emails are sent to or from an email address that you can see directly. I can also verify that you can view the "escorts" advert for free but have to pay for certain pics & videos.

If you then want to contact them you need to "sign up" and create a username & password. Then on their profile there is a tab for contact them where you send them a message (like an email) and they can then reply back. The only outside alert to this is an email to your registered email address saying that you have a reply from xyz.

HTH.

Roldep · 07/09/2024 01:14

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XChrome · 07/09/2024 01:20

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You have to be kidding with this misogynistic bullshit.

Lolla38 · 08/10/2024 19:38

WhatIsLife24 · 28/05/2024 19:56

You can go on the website and browse escorts etc and see their pictures without an account. But I think to access any of the video stuff or to message any of them via the website/email you do need an account. However many escorts have their numbers on their profiles which you can call or text directly to arrange a booking, so you actually could still book a prostitute without an account anyway I imagine although I can’t say I’ve tried!

I jusr wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this or shed some light on this topic.
seeing a Escort site profile of a woman on a reading page on the IPAD, is this possible it’s appeared in the reading list alone or it more likely someone has blatantly been on this site and saved it for a rweason.
I am trying to rack my brains on this while
been told no idea how it got there etc.
thank you
Quote

Viicckkii · 09/10/2024 07:02

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GrannyofAnarchy · 25/12/2024 22:32

he is lying he has givens details to adult work. He is using prostitutes.
is there support group out there for us? women whose husbands use women this way?
I, for one, will never forgive or recover from the shock of discovering that my fine, upstanding churchgoing husband likes to be ridden 'reverse cowgirl' by Little shaven slaves without a word of English who are not much older than his grand
daughter.

GrannyofAnarchy · 25/12/2024 22:35

yes, you can. I messaged all my husbands "dates' and told them he has syphilis.

Adam148 · 27/12/2024 02:08

Don't take it personally we just do it sometimes

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