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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Adultwork profile - help!!

36 replies

PotatoPotata · 28/05/2024 01:03

Hi I recently found Numberous emails in my partners sent items referring to “your adultwork.com profile, hi I saw your profile on adultwork.com etc” sent to females email addresses, these seem almost like automated emails as they all say the same thing bar one or two which have the additional line “can we meet” on the end. I also found an email in his inbox with his user name and the verification email. He is denying all knowledge and says he has never set up an account. I asked him to put his email address into the forgot password section on the login page and it come up saying this account has been deactivated. Does anyone know how this site works? What would cause these emails to send. It is when he clicks on someone’s profile or is there more to it? Do you have to pay to have a login with the site? Would really appreciate if anyone can shed some light. We have been together for years and have children together and these emails date years back into our relationship :(

OP posts:
herdad · 12/01/2025 13:55

He’s definitely had an account on a there but he might not have been meeting prostitutes imo. Some guys just enjoy browsing and messaging local sex workers for the thrill.

BackAgainSlimLady · 13/01/2025 22:27

many men on adult work deactivate their account regularly, even daily after having a cam session or making a booking.. for this exact reason.

Deactivation is easy to reverse, you can basically just switch your account on and off as you please to be discreet. Don’t think because his account is deactivated he hasn’t used it recently.

Granarchy · 31/01/2025 19:11

‘We’?

Tommo99 · 01/02/2025 03:46

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HardTruth · 01/02/2025 15:41

From the look of it, it is possible that he used the website in the past for any reason. I'm a man and I did that as well years ago the days that I was traumatized and was really down. I used to go to massages only. I wasn't happy about what I did and I moved on.
In my opinion if he did that before meeting you and he decided to give that up to choose you and even have kids with you, he chosed the right path and you have to have a conversation with him and see his part of story and decide to trust him and move on. Don't put lot of pressure on him and yourself. Don' try to dig into his past. That is life. We all do mistakes. But if you feel he is doing after you were together, that is a different story.
I hope you find your peace!

Annaaaaaa · 02/02/2025 18:34

Hi There, I saw your post. I am sorry but I will be brutally honest. About 15 years ago when I was an "innocent" student girl I was an active member on the site. Your partner must have seen girls from the site. They all say the same. Make him deactivate the account, if is not willing to do that - that is proof he's just like most of the men I've seen. There are so many starting just to entertain the idea, then it comes to the point of watching the videos (or video sex whatever), then eventually will end up showing up at some women's. Maybe turn back, or say I feel guilty, but if the idea is already in the head, it is a matter of time when and then how often.
Overall, I don't feel bad about my past, but unfortunately, this exist because there Is demand to it. I still think AW girls are better than your partner having an affair. Either way, I am sorry.

Riverfun · 05/04/2025 16:47

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Essexfleur · 07/04/2025 17:06

GrannyofAnarchy · 25/12/2024 22:32

he is lying he has givens details to adult work. He is using prostitutes.
is there support group out there for us? women whose husbands use women this way?
I, for one, will never forgive or recover from the shock of discovering that my fine, upstanding churchgoing husband likes to be ridden 'reverse cowgirl' by Little shaven slaves without a word of English who are not much older than his grand
daughter.

Edited

I’m in desperate need of a support group.

BeLuckySeal · 07/04/2025 22:56

There is no smoke without fire. I think I would be asking for him to reactivate his account. That way you can see any communications and bookings. Maybe take an sti check just in case. He has been on there at some point so the question is why? Obviously it’s the intention to book. Sorry you are going through this. I’m in a similar situation and it turns your world upside down. Trust me, the more you look the more you will find. Look for a ‘punting phone’. Also check his maps app to see what his recent searches have been,

Granarchy · 15/04/2025 21:57

Check and check again.

Hot1991 · 02/01/2026 21:32

How's to get on it please?

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