If your SIL sends you this Tiktok about your fiancé (and says its a joke)

[sarahkelly932]

I have had a few occasions of my fiances SIL getting involved in our relationship. Things such as she has asked me why I do not post him on social media and said she thinks its strange; and just being generally interfering; I also checked my fiancés phone (one time, for good reason) and she was talking negatively about me, things such as “you will be free soon LOL” when I am about to leave for work after we had an argument, and him generally confiding in her when we had a huge argument one time recently.

Rather than give advice she was just agreeing with his view and being generally unhelpful. The confusing thing is she has asked me to be a bridesmaid…and is nice to my face. When I text her after I found the texts I pretty much told her to stay out of our relationship (I have had to tell her this twice already). Today she sends me a “joke” TikTok - Make Your Day saying "hahaha this is me and my sister we are crazy". I just don’t think this is funny and getting to the end of my tether. Fiance has said he has told her to stop talking about me, obviously she doesn’t pay attention to anything he says. He gets angry and defensive when I talk to him about it and says all women stress him out and he doesn’t want to be involved?

Should I just ignore it? I am 6 years older than her and its getting frustrating...

side note we are looking at buying a house and shes started to send us links on rightmove of houses?!

Your fianceé's SIL? As in his sibling's female partner? Or the sister of his partner?

He is male but she's referring to "my sister" ?

I'm confused who this person is.

Isn't that a normal thing to do?

Its my fiancés sister. So my sister in law

@BertieBotts i would say so yes. i am feeling aggravated by the threatening tiktok i suppose and general interfering.

She's a dickhead for sending that TikTok. He's not even her brother.
He is allowed to have friends and discuss his relationship with friends though and it seems they consider themselves friends, the in law relationship aside. I would just ignore her and any future interactions of theirs. Telling her to 'stay out' of your relationship is just going to fuel her fire and she will enjoy that she's getting to you.

@YesThatsATurdOnTheRug Sorry I think I didn't explain it very well. It is my fiances sister. My future sister in law

She sounds unkind and bitchy and your fiance seems dense. Have they had a relationship in the past...? She sounds invested.

You need to cut her off completely although I bet there'll be uproar if you do. But in your shoes, I absolutely would. Have you realised that because of your fiance confiding in her (why...?) then conveniently stepping back when the shit hits the fan, once you marry him you'll have to put up with her and her sly remarks ad infinitum? She's unpleasant to you because your fiance has told her unpleasant things about you, and his attitude makes it clear to her that she can upset you and he couldnt care less. Good luck to you if you choose to marry a man who doesn't have your back. Really you should leave them to each other. Is this his brother's wife/wheres her partner in all this?

To be a pedant she isn't your SIL until you are married. That aside I would just roll with it and not get too involved.

Just ignore her. I find my SIL very irritating but I leave her relationship with DP up to them. Just don't engage

“says all women stress him out” Are you sure you want to marry someone who doesn’t like women?

@Caffeineneedednow would you be annoyed if she sent you that tiktok though, I do not even know how to repsond... its not funny and I am not sure how she meant it

She clearly is very into her brother and is jealous of your relationship - feels threatened....on the bridesmaid invite she's keeping you close re that old saying. Don't trust her

Or is such a wet blanket.

He should be sticking up for you - imagine what it will be like when you have kids.

You said your fiancé's SIL so I assumed it was his brothers wife. Just saw you've now said its his sister. Strange wording then. Still tho, dynamic is weird and you shouldn't have to invalidate your feelings and upset by 'just ignoring'. But if you're marrying him you'll just have to put up with it

Does anything else about him bother you as the 'all women stress him' is a red flag. She sounds like a pita.

Ahhh ok I see! Definitely just rise above. She's just trying to mark her territory, she feels like she is/should be his number 1 female. She'll back off as time goes on.

I definitely don't think you should be telling her to stay out of your relationship though. She is his sister and they've been close forever, he's going to tell her how he feels and she's going to take his side. You just have to detach from it.

Ideally he will stop relating details of your arguments and you could definitely ask him to do that given that she's being hostile to you, but that's a conversation for you and him not you and her.

@YesThatsATurdOnTheRug I just find it odd though as she is getting married herself - I get that you want to come across as a close family but its weird when a little sister is approaching her older brothers fiancé. I am confused why she even has the confidence to do that; especially if he has apparently asked her previously. I agree he should not be confiding in her. I have a feeling this is going to be ongoing. I have no idea why she would be threated; surely you want your family members happy @Gingerface90 Definitely learning not to trust her after the texts i read....

This is all very immature.
Your DP needs to think a little harder about the wisdom of over sharing.
Telling his sister to stay out of your relationship is weird - she's not your rival and her loyalty is always going to be to her brother.
Don't look for opportunities to have a row. Just ignore the tiktok and ask your DP to show a little more respect.
Although the comments of women stressing him out would have me reconsidering getting married anytime soon.

This.

And for clarity, she's your fiance's sister.

This is a glimpse into your marriage. It will be amplified if you bare her nieces and nephews.

No point telling her to stay out of your relationship if she’s your partner’s confidante. He brings her in.

Have any of you reached adolescence yet? Honestly I have never come across anything so weird and immature, she sounds like a playground bully.

The DP sounds like a wet wipe. I'd be moving on and quickly, as it probably will escalate - given that it is getting to you, and she will see that.

This makes no sense your finances SIL would litterally be his SIL ???

Absolutely. This marriage-to-be has “future distressed MN post” written all over it. Sorry @sarahkelly932 , if you’re going to marry him it would be wise to address his close relationship with her, his refusal to have your back and his worrying statement that all women stress him out.

@Beamur I agree it is. I told her to stay out of it as I did not really know how or what else to say to her when she is asking me questions about why I do not post him. I understand her loyalty will always be with him, as mine will be with my brothers over there wives, but I wouldn't dream of sending my sister in law that tiktok, just find it odd. She has a wealthy partner so usually hosts all the family events, wasn't nice to her dads new wife at the beginning etc, I assume sees herself as the head of the family; which is quite odd as she is early 20s