First time posting here - sorry it’s a little long but I really need advice: have been with DP nearly 18 years. Not married. Two DDs, 15 and 16. DP has a good job - I haven’t worked since having first DD (which was a year after we got together). Sex hasn’t been great for a long time now. Occasionally we go away together and things happen then, but only if I initiate, and it feels awkward. We have little in common apart from our children and I’m worried it will fall apart when they leave for uni, and I do want to make things right. It’s like I’m not in a relationship anymore. A few years ago I thought he was having an affair, and it seemed to last for years. I know I shut down. He was very depressed in 2022 - I think she called it off - and I felt such relief that I booked us a weekend away to Paris to try and put things right and start again. He won’t talk about it and just goes silent. But I really want things to work. He was very depressed last year as he’s normally very sporty and he damaged his foot and was immobile for some time.
I want to get the spark back again. I want to make it work. I’m 52 and have no way to cope financially if he leaves. And I don’t want to feel so alone in my relationship either. What can I do to make things right again? He doesn’t really talk about anything but the kids with me. I still have love for him - and he’s a very good dad (and a good provider, we’ve a good standard of living so I can’t complain about anything, he always makes sure I need for nothing).
Can anyone help - what do I do to make this a good relationship again?