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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do you think he has a gf?

45 replies

gfquery · 17/08/2023 21:18

Been speaking to a guy, and noticed on fb I stumbled upon a profile and her only info is in a relationship with him, her profile photo is them kissing.

I confronted him, he says she's a nutter and they've separated and he lets her "keep it on to feel better" on her profile, and I can "message her if I want". He has nothing on his profile publicly, but he's never accepted me as we speak on another platform.

Surely this is BS?

OP posts:
HowDoYouSolveAProblemLikeMariaa · 17/08/2023 21:21

Message her.
But yes, it's bullshit

DoesItHaveKosovo · 17/08/2023 21:22

i think you’re right to be cautious!

Frogmila · 17/08/2023 21:22

Sounds like bollocks to me. I would leave him to it.

Shurleyknot · 17/08/2023 21:47

Message her!

Sarahbumdaa · 17/08/2023 21:48

I would message her. Funny how she's a nutter

Original poster
gfquery · 17/08/2023 21:52

I would message but I bloody hate drama, he's been saying she has some type of hormonal issues and threatens to kill herself and her mum texts him everyday to make sure she's okay??? I am so confused, surely this isn't true?

OP posts:
FluffyUnicorn84 · 17/08/2023 21:53

He's desperate

Shurleyknot · 17/08/2023 21:54

Block him and move on. Even if it is true he sounds like he carries drama around like a handbag.

NetflixAndGin · 17/08/2023 21:56

He's saying all of this to put you off messaging her. I would definitely message.

ChristmasCrumpet · 17/08/2023 21:56

It's not just bs, it's an insult to think you'd believe something that ridiculous. He thinks you, and probably all women are stupid, and he's cheating on his girlfriend.

Throw this prince back.

Monkeylimas · 17/08/2023 21:58

Text her.

Louisetopaz21 · 17/08/2023 22:02

Tbf one of my male friends broke up with his gf due to her unpredictable behaviour and she has her profile photo as them both. He is scared of what she is capable of so it does happen.

usernamenotavailable99 · 17/08/2023 22:06

Any bloke who describes an ex as a nutter would be a red flag. You found this account by accident, he won't add you and talks to you on another platform. Horrible man.

IHateLegDay · 17/08/2023 22:07

Run. Fast.

NooNaNa · 17/08/2023 22:11

Chuck him back in the sea.

Cowlover89 · 17/08/2023 22:12

Definitely message her

MrFoxLovesComingToOurPlace · 17/08/2023 22:14

Whether he's in a relationship with her or not, he sounds like too much hassle.

Justcallmebebes · 17/08/2023 22:14

You'll never know unless you message her. Only she has the answer

purplebluediscorain · 17/08/2023 22:15
  1. you need to message her
  2. you need to walk away this is the drama yoh say you hate
  3. he isn’t worth it if this is the life if for some bizzare reason it’s true
  4. you deserve more than what he’ll ever offer!
  5. yoi need someone exclusively single and only got you giving him and wanting your attention
  6. LEAVE!!

you really are worth more.

Original poster
gfquery · 17/08/2023 22:28

Thanks everyone, you're right, I think I'm just so taken aback, because surely he does realise I could just screenshot what he says and forward it on ? why do men do this with such confidence ?

OP posts:
RojoCarlottaValdez · 17/08/2023 22:46

gfquery · 17/08/2023 22:28

Thanks everyone, you're right, I think I'm just so taken aback, because surely he does realise I could just screenshot what he says and forward it on ? why do men do this with such confidence ?

It's a numbers game. Standard Operating Procedure, now. They "talk to" many women online at the same time - sometimes 20 or 30. and they share the same tactics with each other to get women to open up to them. I work with men in an industrial setting - about 170 of them. This is what they do on their breaks. Married, engaged, single - 90% of them do this. It's a sport. They don't care if they are caught out or blocked because there are many more women to snare. if my long marriage ever broke down, I would never want to meet another man. This culture is poison for relationships. Meet them in person!

Original poster
gfquery · 17/08/2023 22:59

@RojoCarlottaValdez see this is how I know I am naive! because I'd have never guessed that, what is it they do it for? just attention via texting?

OP posts:
suburbophobe · 17/08/2023 23:03

Walk away from people who cause drama in your life OP.

It will never give you peace.

Original poster
gfquery · 17/08/2023 23:13

I swear Mumsnet teaches me something new everyday..

OP posts:
alwaysmovingforwards · 18/08/2023 08:29

Sounds like drama.
Do you need some drama in your life?

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