Let's talk dating apps...

[forfortiessake]

So I'm a professional forty year old and a single parent. I've also just signed up to a couple of dating apps in the hope I might make a couple of good connections. I'm pretty content with life, but would be nice to meet someone to share my kid free time with. I used dating apps in my 30s but things have moved on since then. Now people voice note pretty regularly and it all feels so hot and cold... a couple of instances I've been voice noting back and forth over a day with someone and then don't hear back. Is this normal? I just didn't expect this from men in their mid/late 40s - early 50s. It seems impossible to actually make any meaningful connections that make it worth while making the effort to meet. Be great to hear other people's experiences xxx

I tried them for a couple years.
Pof, tinder, Bumble and a few others.

Terrible.

The effort of wading through the 'Photo of man with fish' or 'photo of man with car' or 'photo of man with beer' 🙄
The effort I had to put in just to have a conversation, it got so that anyone sending a one word response got blocked immediately.
Then meeting up with someone.. profile pictures look like Tom Hardy, Oliver Hardy turns up..
I would rather roast my own head in the exhaust of a fighter jets engine than do OLD again. My life as a single person is an 8 out of 10. I'm not dragging that down to a 6 or 7 just for the sake of having some shit weasel knocking about the house.

Yes 😹 photo of man with fish, photo of man with car, man and a bunch of his mates (oi oi lads), photo of man with drugged elephant or tiger, man and his dog (cujo)

And they come on strong!

Let's not forget epic lines like gym goer, fitness enthusiast, your mum will love me, or when in doubt leave your profile blank. Can't go wrong when you write nothing.

●>☆》~I hope to meet you one night♤■<~ Erm, I'm good cheers 😹

That's what also annoys me a bit, the sheer volume of men who want casual. I appreciate everyone is allowed to want what they want but come on, use apps like Feeld or Fab! Where are those looking for something vaguely traditional!?

I am not sure I am annoyed by those who say they want something "casual" at least they are being honest, there's a whole lot of men out there, again I can only speak for the late 40s-50s who say they want something serious but have no idea what that actually means even to themselves..

I have tried a few but always went back to Tinder. I am 50. Met N when I was 47 and we are getting married next month. I couldn't be happier!

Two years off and on dating buddies I met N. Not putting up with any nonsense and being open minded helped.

If I matched with 100 or so men I would probably end up dating only one ... quite a few men who are dishonest .. block and move on

What I really don't get is when they say they don't know what they are looking for. Surely they know what they are looking for? Why did they even join the app in the first place?

That means they want Sex

And when they say,
"What you looking for on here?"
They're hoping you'll say Sex...
And when you say, dating and maybe a relationship and they say,
"Me too"
They're lying, they mean Sex

🤪😂
#cynical

@KateJohns sorry but your post of 15.32 is hilarious. 😂

Not sure if they just mean sex but I think they think they want to see how things go and have a lot of sex in the process....

@JenniferBooth couldn't agree more... that post was bloody hilarious. And absolutely @KateJohns . I don't a little shit weasel knocking round the house either. I've found OLD relentlessly awful and really not worth the time and effort. So it's just me and the dog from now on!

OLD is rubbish.

@KateJohns you forgot the topless in bed photos! Wtf are they about?!

Update on OLD... voice noted with a guy who sounded normal for an evening (hurray) then he's just ghosted me for two days! Spoken to another guy and he wants to fall in love after ten minutes! Where is the happy medium haha!

I used it a few years ago, I was dating every weekend. I met a fair few guys, some of them were nice some wasnt. I had two relationships one with a physco who beat me, one with a lovely guy who turned out to be a coke head. I gave up and learned to love being single lol.
I'll be honest, I recently joined again but I put in very little effort, I have done a shed load of therapy, lost a shit ton of weight, completely overhauled my life and as a result I now have boundaries that will not be negotiated upon. Since then I've had one date ha ha, a few have passed the initial stage and got to the 'swapping numbers' round, but only one has made it to a date stage, I politely refused a 2nd meet.
From what I can see 90% of the men on there fall into one or more of the below groups.
They either have drink or drug problems.
Have recently split with someone and is struggling with being single but ultimately completely emotionally unavailable.
Lives in a bed sit since the divorce and wants a decent place to live
Is simply just abusive.
Theres pleanty of women on there who, for whatever reason will tolerate their shit so these type usually show their colours pretty early on if you're good at reading the signs.
There are some lovely blokes on there I'm sure but I just dont have the time (or desire) to really put in the work to skim the scummy surface and go diving for him.

@ALittleBitConfused1 well done on getting to such an amazing place! I believe app dating is not a place to go to unless you're in a strong headspace! My boundaries are so much stronger this time around... ! It's amazing how very, very few people pass quality control when you have stronger boundaries!

Crying at Shit Weasel!!!

I met dp on one but I paid. The free ones, oh my goodness - not worth it

@forfortiessake yep it's like being liberated. I have a friend who to be honest puts up with far too much crap, who says I'm picky, or I'm being too harsh. My response, nope I just have standards and dont want a man enough to drop them.
If I met either of me exes now, they wouldn't have even got to date stage.
Still, pof does fill in the time between one episode of a box set ending and the next one starting on a gloriously peaceful pamper sunday 🤣🤣

@ALittleBitConfused1 oh yes true! I mean to be fair most people I've dated have been below standard! Now I'm 40 I've hopefully learned a few lessons, got some self confidence and realise I'm worth a lot more than a shit weasel (thanks @KateJohns )

@ALittleBitConfused1 I need to screenshot your post about the different groups!

ALittleBitConfused1

yea you have nailed the groups 😂

I'm very glad people enjoy Shit Weasel. 😂

Amazing how many men that works as a descriptor for.
Cheating shit weasel
Lying shit weasel
Lazy shit weasel
Etc.

🤪

I'm getting quite a few weird profiles of men from the neck down saying they are married and just up for a bit of fun! I mean does this work for them? Do women swipe on them? I'm so intrigued

Neck down? I never had that experience. I mean, eyes are windows to the soul. I did see a couple of profiles + sunglasses

@cassiatwenty I'm in Tinder! It's probably not surprising haha

@forfortiessake I was on Tinder too I just never remember seeing men neck down. Or if I did I probably swiped fast. Lots of men who lived fishing tho!