join me for an orgy of pettiness and ingratitude

[Cappuccino]

So as some of you already know I am quite ill and my mother has heroically stepped into the breach to help

She has been looking after my children for four months and particularly the last fortnight when dh has been away on a residential course and I would NOT have coped without her

she retired four years ago and decided to move to the city that dh and I have settled in as she was widowed and wanted to help with the grandchildren

she lets me sleep in the afternoons, helps with breakfast times, bedtimes, etc; we went away to a hotel at the weekend to give us a 'break' with the children

I am tremendously grateful, honestly I truly am, and I am BEYOND LUCKY in every way

but she is starting to do my nut in

seriously

I am a Bad Person

I think she will do phone consultations, she certainly used to post stuff to me.

Anyway let's not talk about that...

you'll get none of that from me - am clueless about PVS , only know about pain me!

So, are you managing to work still? Have you got lots of great books to read?

no work

books yes

am also watching lots of back to back 24

what is PVS? I thought it was persistent vegetative state (ie brain dead in a coma) but clearly not if your nephew was cured

my mum always phones at about 6.30pm and then hears the noise of bath/bedtime rage going on and says "is it a good time?"

I say no I will phone you back

she then waffles on for 10 mins about when would be the best time whilst WW3 breaks out in the background

she does this at least once a week and every time I say "After 7.30pm will be best" and try to be nice

Brilliant - an excuse for pure self indulgence.

So, let your Mum do all the cleaning and cooking and lock yourself in the snug with chocolate and sexy men to ogle (have to admit have never seen 24 so have no clue whether there are sexy beasts on it or not).

wisteria yes

then I come on here and moan about her

I'm sorry but I have to let these negative emotions out or I will never recover

I managed to get irritated with my Mum when she was on her deathbed so I am definitely a far, far worse person than you.........she still had the ability to get on my tits even when I'd pelted down the M5 at 120 mph to get to her

there there

I can entirely see that happening to me too

there was me trying to be a 'good' daughter, mop her brow etc and she just kept banging on about ex boyfriends and how much she disapproved of them and weirdly how she wanted me to promise to go back to amateur dramatics What a strange last request to have!

oh what a marvellous thread

It drives me POTTY that my mother makes a loud "aaahhhh" sound when she yawns

fucking stop it STOP IT STOP IIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT

bear in mind I only ever hear it when she's at our house to babysit

Also, she smokes (grr) and I HATE the smell of smoke. I'm an ex smoker (the worst kind!) and my Dad died of cancer so I get really GRRRy about her smoking.

Whyen DD was a baby we went to a shopping centre together and I realised I'd forgotten something. Mum said "oh ill go" and nipped back in whilst I strapped DD in and put the pram away etc. When she came back, I smelled smoke on her and refused to let her hold DD for the rest of the day. It was 10am hahahhahahahahahahaha

Also, we went on hol with her and her DH in August 2006. It was a great week, they took us out for meals, babysat, entertained the DC and generally were a HUGE help. But it irritated the FUCK out of me when she fell asleep in the living room as we were sitting chatting/watching a film/playing cards/whatever every fucking night. making a sort of quiet whistley-nostril noise

on the 4 th night I shrieked "Just go to bed!"

ha ha ha - my Mum always fell asleep the minute she sat down and why is it that past 50, you appear to lose the ability to keep your mouth closed when asleep? Do the jaw muscles erode?

I know it's all the bloody nagging they do .

Oh noises are the worst. My mum is so clumsy - she's always falling down rabbit holes when walking the dog - so she's always got a twisted ankle / sore hip / arm etc, and walks around constantly emitting low groans, quiet whimpers. Drives me insane, she reaches for a cup 'nnnnyyyeeee!' sips tea, returns cup to table 'oooohhhhhaaaahhh!' stands up 'UUUUURRRRGGGGG'

STOP IT STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST STOP WHIMPERING I BEG YOU NOW!

'resting her eyes' on the sleep theme

driving on motorway kids moaning they want another DVD on I say no you can't because I am driving and grandma is asleep in passenger seat

at height of hoo haa granny comes to life again saying "I'm not asleep I'm just resting my eyes"

well if that is true why are you not changing dvd instead of listening to children whining at me?

ooh Bovo MIl does that

ooh. AAh. Nyeh. pant. gasp

SHUT UP WOMAN

BOCO LOL that is so funny! My mum is like that too. Do you also find if you have, for example, sprained your ankle she has actually 'broken' her ankle in the past and it was a nightmare etc etc, you have a cold, she had flu last month. Need I go on?!

Oh no Capp...I am an eye rester