join me for an orgy of pettiness and ingratitude

[Cappuccino]

So as some of you already know I am quite ill and my mother has heroically stepped into the breach to help

She has been looking after my children for four months and particularly the last fortnight when dh has been away on a residential course and I would NOT have coped without her

she retired four years ago and decided to move to the city that dh and I have settled in as she was widowed and wanted to help with the grandchildren

she lets me sleep in the afternoons, helps with breakfast times, bedtimes, etc; we went away to a hotel at the weekend to give us a 'break' with the children

I am tremendously grateful, honestly I truly am, and I am BEYOND LUCKY in every way

but she is starting to do my nut in

seriously

I am a Bad Person

sorry but LOL at suzy's Wharrafarkinliberti

I will think of some and come and join in later

Boco I will be that kind of granny myself I am always giving people terrible diseases

oh it is nothing to moan about nothing my mum is a saint

but there has been a bit too much TMI around this week what with a weekend away and I did not want to know about her sexual frustration in the 1980s when her late husband went away for work [ew]

and another thing how does she always manage to end up carrying plastic bags wherever we go? Even when we went to the hotel within an hour of arriving there she was carrying everything around in a plastic bag she had got off a roll in the swimming changing rooms that you were supposed to put your wet costumes in

if we go out for a meal my mum will ask my dad about something on the menu and say "will I like that?"

or he will ask her "do I need another drink do you think?"

fgs

random pettiness and ingratitude coming up:

when ds is poorly in any way she always wants me to DO something - faff about with vaseline, or see doctor, or make him special meals or god knows what. Ds is perfectly healthy child who can get rid of colds etc and does not need anything special doing.

when I am ill (eg a cold) this is some kind of moral weakness, and a bit of a tragedy, always. "Oh NO, a cold! Another cold! I NEVER get a cold (sheer fucking lies this bit). Well I think you must not get enough vitamins. Do you take vitamins?"

she used to come round and say things like "that door frame is dirty." I must have objected REALLY strongly to this at one point because she has actually stopped doing it and for my mother to change her behaviour is a BIG deal. There is currently a patch of mould on our bedroom ceiling and I am very much enjoying leaving it to see how big it will get before she is forced to mention it. Mind you perhaps she is just going blind, and hasn't changed at all. Ah well.

CONSTANTLY talking about people's weight. In fact CONSTANTLY talking about people behind their back. Like this. Ah.

If she's anything like my MIL, the plastic bags are for tissues, disinfectant spray and deep heat (don't ask, I never do)

and just in case, obviously

Olive she should go for lunch with my mum, she would tell her what she should have

you have a meal with her and she starts going "I would have a bit of cheese on that." (piece of bread and butter I am eating. actually cheese is a particular obsession). "I would think that would be very dry without any mayonnaise." Oh FFS WHO CARES

My mums car smells of the kind of curry that people used to make in the 80s with sultanas in it. That's not even my mum's fault. It has nothing to do with my mum, it's just her car smell. But for some reason it fills me with fury as soon as i get in to it. And it all built up until one day i blurted out, as we were driving along '^Why!?? Why does you car smell of curry in the 80's - the kind with sultanas??' And she was slightly taken aback and said 'I have no idea'.

See, i'm the one, i'm the problem, not my mother.

I should get off this thread

you too probably, Boco

Oh, forgot my favourite.

After we'd driven farking thousands of miles up to the bog where aged concerns live, mum coming into kitchen while I'm preparing emergency tea for dcs (because she didn't think that we'd need any) and saying 'Oh, so you don't steam their vegetables then?'

My mums latest rant is about Ds1's behaviour.
It's all my fault becasue I work OUTSIDE the house!. FGS I work temporarily from 11am till 2pm 4 days a week - when they are at school.
However, when I worked from home as a childminder it was all my fault as well because I was at home all the time!

oh Boco lololol at sultanas

it bothers us not them you are right

it does not bother my mum that her kitchen is a mess and her sink is full of teabags

but whenever I am round there I wipe it down and then she gets breadcrumbs on it again and I am livid

last year I got beyond myself because she had not got rid of a three-in-one TV set I had been given for my 15th birthday despite the fact that none of the three functions even worked

every time I went round there I went stalking round the house for it and then had another go at her

it wasn't even in my house

MMJ - are our mothers twins?

oh you poor thing - I had post viral fatigue with glandular fever and it is the PITS

I really hope you feel better soon
Can I really really recommend someone to you?
Jo Dunbar she is a western herbalist, she really sorted me out when I was at a very low ebb with this. She specialises in chronic fatigue (her dh had it I think) and sorts out your adrenal glands first then boosts your immune system (she told me that if you have CFS often your adrenal glands are not functioning properly - mine was due to excessive use of steroids for my Crohn's disease, there are many other reasons - and the mistake lots of people with CFS make is to try and boost the immune system but without first sorting out your adrenal glands it won't do any good. Or something like that.)

I can't really moan about my mum, she is so marvellous - drives an hour and a half ever Thursday to pick dd up from school, stays Thursday nights and babysits, does all our ironing while dd at school on Fri (and other bits round the house) and stays til I come home from work. Has dd for weekends etc at the drop of a hat. Is generally a marvel!

Yes she does go on about what I was like when I was little etc (but that is only cos she loved me!) Sometimes she does little things that irritate me but I just say ooh you are a mad old bat or something (and she agrees generally lol!)

ps you can ring her for a chat she is lovely and will talk to you for ages

ds said to me the other day 'You sounded just like grandma when you said that'

I cried.

when I ring my mother she insists on giving me a full report on the day's weather

in quite some detail

WHY??

weirdy weird, Jo Dunbar also highly recommended by and sorted out my aunt.

thanks CD

she is a long way away from me though

I have been seeing Jan de Vries he sorted out a friend's son with PVS

I am making progress, though in a frustrating two-steps-forward-and-one-back way, but at least the forwards motion is happening

Cappuccino - was that as a result of what you were suffering over christmas or did you have it then without realising?

Shame my virtual hot toddies did nothing then

Look after yourself now, plenty of rest and vitamins I guess.

she even does this when she is staying in London eg at my sister's house, so we are BOTH in LONDON and she is telling me about the weather in LONDON

catissleepy when I was at Uni my housemate's mother would ring at 7.30 and my friend would be asleep

so her mother would talk to us about what the weather was like where we were and then go

this seemed enough for her

Aww, Cat, just cos she loves you and wants to keep you on the phone, even though your dcs are about to kill each other/you're dying for a pee/late for pick-up.

My mum promises to look after dcs on a particular day, then puts it in the wrong week of her diary. Have to keep checking and she gets very offended, even when she's wrong.

oh god, it's all coming my way in 20 yrs time.

Wisteria I had it I just don't like talking about it

I am scared of poeple popping up and saying "oh I had that for years"

I do not deal with health stories well; it is one of my hidden boards on mn because as soon as I see a thread title I decide I have a serious ailment