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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Are you friends with your exes?

50 replies

Coffeetree · 03/06/2022 20:23

I'm just feeling nosy!

Ex 1: We lived together in the 90s. Really good relationship until we moved in together, when it became evident that he thought all the housework was my job because I was the girl. We argued and he refused to get it, so I gave him £1000 and asked him to move out. Completely lost respect for him which was a shame. We didn't stay in touch.

Ex 2: Read Napoleon Hill instead of job-hunting. Disaster.

Ex 3: Many happy years. We're very good friends still. I wish we could've made it work. No hard feelings.

OP posts:
Rodneytrotterslovechild · 03/06/2022 20:27

No
ive tried the whole ‘let’s be mates’ thing but one really breadcrumbed me and it was nasty when I finally blew up

the rest where wankers-I can’t believe I allowed them to touch me,let alone sleep with me

unicornsarereal72 · 03/06/2022 20:30

Nope. I still want to set fire to him 😀

CuriousMama · 03/06/2022 20:33

Yes to exdh. I'd speak to any others. Dh gets on with exdh too.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 03/06/2022 20:34

Nope.
In theory I’m still friends with one’s mum, but since I live 100 miles away from her, and probably 200 from him, that’s really more theoretical than anything.

Another still has a lot of mutual friends with me, but again, all
in a very different part of the country.

Haggisfish3 · 03/06/2022 20:35

Yes. All of them. I liked them before I went out with them and after we split up. It helps that none of them were twats.

Haggisfish3 · 03/06/2022 20:35

Yes. All of them. I liked them before I went out with them and after we split up. It helps that none of them were twats.

TibetanTerrah · 03/06/2022 20:36

No. Hell no.

Happierthanever91 · 03/06/2022 20:37

I'm friendly with most of my mine if I bump into them. My DD's Dad and I still get on really well, we split a few years ago and he has a partner and I'm engaged with another on the way

Furrbabymama87 · 03/06/2022 20:38

No. One ex is the father to two of my kids and hasn't seen them for 5 years and is a horrible twat so if I saw him I'd want to hit him. And others I've just got no interest in whatsoever and haven't seen them for years.

LeniGray · 03/06/2022 20:38

Noooo no NOOO! God no! 😱

MagicTurtle · 03/06/2022 20:40

Not really. I'm friends with two of them on Facebook, but I haven't seen them IRL for years. No hard feelings with either of them, we just lost touch over the years (I've been with DH for ages so these are exes from a long time ago).

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/06/2022 20:44

No way, not spoken to my ex for 7 years. He normally speaks to my 2 adult kids, that's if they can be bothered to talk to him.

PostMenPatWithACat · 03/06/2022 20:44

I would be if it weren't for their wives. DH (and I) managed to stay friends with his significant ex.

Echobelly · 03/06/2022 20:45

I only had one real ex - we were together for about 9 months in my early 20s. We stayed amicable for a few months, but then he started seeing someone else who wasn't happy about it - understandably as he hadn't told her about me or me about her and we were still sometimes sharing a bath or a bed (but genuinely not having any sex - not surprisingly I don't think she believed that and I don't blame her; it wasn't right for him to be doing that with me when he had a gf!)

We briefly linked up on FB a few years after but he defriended after a short while - I guess he just wanted to see what I was up to.

I'm still close friends with the FWB I lost my virginity to! DH knows the history but doesn't care and likes the friend in question just as much as I do.

Simonjt · 03/06/2022 20:46

Yeah, he was a very close friend before we were together and he still is now, handy babysitter too!

Wednesdayafternoon · 03/06/2022 20:54

I have to stay friend with my ex husband because we have 2 young sons, but it's fake. I wish I never had to see him again! But I will stay friends so my boys can see their mum and dad getting on!

roxisolerenshaw · 03/06/2022 21:00

Definitely not

Motherofalittledragon · 03/06/2022 21:15

Hell no, there's a reason they're ex.

Jasmine5552 · 03/06/2022 21:33

No. I would rather leave my former partners in the past where they belong.

JaceLancs · 03/06/2022 21:42

2 lost touch with
2 stayed friends
1 we are civil only due to DC as they are now older our paths rarely cross
I’m only counting long term relationships obviously

PinkButtercups · 03/06/2022 21:45

No he's an absolute creep.

GetThatHelmetOn · 03/06/2022 21:46

I’m in touch with all the ones who were nice and were the relationship amicably. The nasty ones… why? No, what’s the point of staying in touch with someone who behaved appallingly if there are no mutual children?

Hiddenvoice · 03/06/2022 21:52

I’m only friends with one ex who I was with before I met my dh. He is now good friends with my dh and I am good friends with his partner. We both had babies at the same time and regularly meet up as a group or go on date nights together. It might have felt weird at first but we both genuinely cared for each other but just couldn’t make it work. We wanted to be in each other’s lives so managed to carry on a friendship. Both my dh and his partner are fine with it too.

Zpoa · 03/06/2022 21:53

Ex - 13yrs till 23yrs - no (child 1)
Ex - 29 yrs till 42 - hell no (child 2)

KohlaParasaurus · 03/06/2022 21:55

I'm not friends with my XH. He chose to make the divorce as acrimonious and expensive as possible and told my parents he was out to destroy me. There's no coming back from that. Besides, he never stops talking, he's a tightwad, and he's really, really annoying.

I had three short relationships between marriages. One XBF is still a good friend, one remained close for a couple of years but we drifted apart, and the other occasionally messages me for a catch-up and we'd probably meet for coffee if we were in the same town. All have apologised to me for not treating me as well as they could have when we were together.