Dating in 50s

[50sdating]

I'm in my early 50s and have been on a few dating apps. During my 40s I went on lots of dates and there were a few men I clicked with and wanted to see again.

This time round it seems a bit depressing. Men who are my age who I think look attractive don't seem to be interested. I'm assuming they are going for younger attractive women. I have been chatting to men in their late 40s but it just seems to be all chat.

I went on Tinder and reported a couple of men with nude photos!

I'm beginning to think I'm perhaps meant to be single or the 50s aren't a good time to date. Anyone else finding this?

Well this is heartening. I fully expect to be single for the rest of my life now after a 22 year marriage. I did anyway but it's kind of disappointing to read how shit it is out there in dating land.

Yep it’s grim. After a 25 year relationship and a rebound that broke up on lockdown, I never in a million years expected it to be so difficult to meet a pretty normal 50 something man. But it’s been dire so far. Older men wanting to talk about sex after a couple of messages, unsolicited naked photos, turning up on dates looking like they’ve just been digging their garden, monosyllabic responses and being ghosted - in their 50’s ffs.

I tried OLD at the beginning of the year and it is an eye opener, and I'm 31 lol. It was either 20 year olds or 50 years old trying to get in there, and what is with mental posing with fish? 😂

The fish thing is a mystery 🤷‍♀️🤣 and it appears every middle aged man on OLD is into paddle boarding and kayaking 🤣🤣

Don't bother.
You'll get messages from younger guys looking for a shag and geriatrics trying their luck, but sadly little interest from attractive guys in their 40s and 50s.
Real life is your best bet. OLD is a waste of time and money.

I have a couple of family members who thought they didn’t want children then changed their mind in their late 40s / early 50s. It was not at all difficult for them to find an attractive woman in her late thirties eager to move in with a man who already had a house and pension etc and have his children.

Don’t really have a point except perhaps that the pool of men in their 40s/50s looking for a same age partner must necessarily be smaller than the female pool, because some of those men are still in the ‘might start a family’ mentality which a woman in her 50s is obviously not.

Sorry OP, I do think being in your 50s is a tipping point. I met my last boyfriend IRL and we were both mid 50s but he had such commitment issues and we broke up. Quite a few men stay in relationships until the children have finished education and then they divorce and look for a relationship. They think they want commitment but actually they don't but also don't want to ask for a "casual" relationship.
I agree there's a real sense of entitlement with men. I have met a few guys OLD but it feels really uncomfortable to me. The excitement that you get in real life when you meet someone seems to be missing...
I try to get out and do as many things as possible but the reality is that many people are married albeit unhappily at this age or want to have a very casual relationship...

i'm in my fifties been single for a couple of years
i live on my own and sometimes i do feel lonely like when i cook a sunday roast for one but then i look at the relationship board on here and i'm glad i'm on my own

What’s wrong with beer?!

Or bikes?!

I’ve noticed this. When I ask why they are interested in a woman so much older, it’s clear they have fetishized older women. I know older women are one of the porn sub categories, so I wonder if they get it from there?

I had a guy literally 25 years younger than me asking me out at work... unfortunately I thought it was so mental that I thought his email account had been hacked !

i’m not looking for a boyfriend as I’m really loving being single so not really qualified to help but I just don’t like the thought of online dating, I just couldn’t like someone from photos but I’m definitely a cautious slow burner I think. I’ve met all boyfriends either over a period of months going out locally or at work.

Don’t give up! I’m 52 and with now DP who’s 58 and lovely. Both divorced, got kids, both hated OLD. It took me a long time though, on and off OLD for about three years before I met this one. Had another 18month relationship before that, after a previous two year stint of OLD. Altogether, a lot of dates, a lot of very uninspiring men, felt very low about it at times but I knew I wanted a relationship and had to persevere - realistically I wasn’t going to meet anyone at work or via friendships. Online dating is pretty awful but having said that, I did meet some incredibly nice, interesting and kind men along the way, showed they are out there. I’m still good friends with a guy I met for a date a few years back. I think it helps if you live somewhere reasonably busy (I’m in a small city) and also if you are fairly tough skinned and know what you’re looking for.

I had done OLD for almost 2 years and it was grim. I had dated younger (i am 49), not a choice but it was younger men matching with me. i was tired of the sexting, ghosting and general muppets on these sites. I went on Tinder 4 months ago to delete and give myself a break, and there was my current BF. He is 5 years older. So so different from anyone else I dated. We go out loads, and have been away a few times. He is amazing. It worked in the end for me. There are a few rare exceptions. I found mine :)

I have heard way more positive stories about Tinder than Bumble...I always feel that because men get approached first on Bumble they think they are really something!

Bennyhillwasshite thank you so much for your more positive story. It's very good to hear.

I've just started out five weeks ago. I'm 63 but look younger. Met a terrific man but sadly no spark, been in contact with a couple of certified loons, there's one guy who really sets my heart racing but I feel instinctively that he's not for the long term (perhaps a delightful fling?). Interestingly I've met two fabulous women through a couple of single events and we are now friends and support each other through this particular jungle.

It's important to bear in mind that good people do get together through OLD. Wishing everyone the best of luck out there!

I agree with that. Found Bumble to be a male ego boost. I Was way luckier on Tinder

I met my now H when I was 59 on OLD. He is 5 years younger than me - second marriage for both and we are very happy.

Yep, I know quite a lot of guys who described women 'lining up' on Bumble...

Here's a man's point of view from using these apps at various times.
Im 5'10,blond hair,blue eyes,not bad looking to start with.
I find women now,even our age group are all looking for guys who look like love island contestants tbh.
You know,tattoos,biceps bigger than their brains etc.
I've also noticed a worrying trend with older guys getting all this done now too which looks ridiculous on most of them.
As for sex I've found women just want it as much as guys on these sites in my experience so let's not all tar guys with the same brush ladies.
It's hard enough to meet someone IRL without having to compete with guys who think they're models and more materialistic than the original material girl.
Just my two pence worth

Thanks for a man’s perspective. Have to say the description of what women over 50 are looking for in men couldn’t be further from what appeals to me.
I am absolutely not attractive to vain shallow men who live in the gym. Give me Mr normal middle aged with a dad bod any day. But in my personal experience even the average rules still think they’re players and have no idea how to communicate with women. Honesty if I had a £ for every normal seeking bloke on OLD who thinks ‘hey hot stuff’ ‘milf 🔥’ or ‘oi oi sexy’ is a good opening line - I’d be loaded 😘

*attracted to

Must be just Glasgow then Sam 😂 I'd consider myself normal tbh,I dress ok,have good standards etc but it's confusing what women want up here 🤪 😘

Honesty if I had a £ for every normal seeking bloke on OLD who thinks ‘hey hot stuff’ ‘milf 🔥’ or ‘oi oi sexy’ is a good opening line - I’d be loaded 😘

🤣 oh dear!

I’m down south and the thing on OLD here seems to be every man claims to be into paddle boarding, kayaking, surfing, running marathons every weekend and holding giant fish.

I do go out a lot in RL but seem to only get chatted to by men with wedding rings 🤷‍♀️