how do i tell DH in the most subtle of manner he is crap in bed?

[ExtremelyBored]

this is a serious problem. in the 10 years we have been together he still doesn't know how to turn me on and i am running out of suggestions. his idea of sex is grabbing my arse and saying "fancy a shag" to which i reply err, NO, and when we do get round to doing it he just jumps on does the job then rolls over and falls asleep .

if i am being totally honest, i prefer my vibrator .

how can i talk to him seriously without hurting his feelings? i want to improve our sex life so we need to sort this out.

A view from a man, although I do find it hard to relate to your DH. Madamez is right, after 10 years the habits are deeply ingrained and a simple chat is never going to change anything. But probably your DH doesn't think the sex is that great either and he made an interesting point in that he wants you to make the first move and sex yourself up a bit. Ask him more about what you can do for him and that should lead to reciprocation. I would suggest you initiate things yourself and try and take control by oral or positions on top. Force forplay by a snog or grope in a semi-public place so you can both get aroused in a situation where full sex isn't possible.

extremely, how did you feel when he asked you to wear sexy underwear etc? Is that request something you hear all the time, or is it new?

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