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Original poster

sex - is anyone else a loose woman like me?

45 replies

olala · 31/10/2007 09:24

sex has just made a come back, but it ain't so good and i think it is laregly because i am so stretched from having popped out 3 DCs! I can see this is frustrating for DH. Has anyone else had this problem? Can you do anything about it? I've started doing pelvic floors when i remember - but not even sure if that has any point. After oldest 2, I seemed to ping back into shape rather nicely thank you, but dc 3 (now 2 yo) seems to have finished me off. I am officially a loose woman!

OP posts:
catsmother · 31/10/2007 09:31

I wouldn't stop doing the pelvic floor exercises - you definitely won't see any improvement if you do that ! However, I'd also speak to your GP to a) make sure there are no other underlying problems and b) they can recommend some vaginal cone exercisers which, if you don't know already, are a series of weighted cones you insert and have to "hold in" .... you gradually increase the weight, thus making the muscles down there stronger/tighter.

madamez · 31/10/2007 09:35

Yes, consult your GP and/or a well-woman clinic. It's possible that your ladygarden is a bit too stretched and would benefit from a small stitch or two - doesn;t hurt to ask.

Dropdeadfred · 31/10/2007 09:36

have you actually spoken to your dh about it, perhaps it's just your imagination?

Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 18:40

o go dno its not just my imagination, it is seriously stretched! a small stich or two - madamez...seriously? would a GP recommend this on sexual pleasure grounds alone? or would I need an actual health problem to justify it? I am frank about virtually everythingm, having had 3 DCs and had all manner of students an all poke around down there...but telling anyone that i feel a bit stretched - is this just too ridiculous?
i just cannot imagine being taken serisouly. though mind you, i would like it sorted, and would go for the stiches if i was allowed!

I haven;t spokento dh about it, but there is no need, we both know its a problem and we don't need to say it. it;d just be a cringe to end all cringes. no point.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 31/10/2007 18:43

It's not at all strange, but doing any exercises which strengthen your pelvic fllor and core strength will help. Pilates is very good for this problem.

Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 18:55

o god i hate exercise! I'm thin without much bother so i've never had to trouble myself with it before. darn. would much rather the simple surgical option tbh. But am pelvic flooring as I write and will contintue to do so constanltly. AM going to get some of those cone weghty things also i think.
men have none of this bother.
as bloody usual!

OP posts:
madamez · 31/10/2007 20:49

Olala: you can ask your GP or a well-woman clinician to have a look at your fanjo, and explain to them that you feel it's not right and you want to fix it. At the risk of sounding like a pompous dweeb, feeling unhappy about the state of your bits to the extent that it's affecting your relationship is a serious problem that merits being taken seriously by the medical profession. Whether the answer is femina cones, a stitch or two, or something else, is something they will be able to advise you on (I have not, after all, seen your fanjo myself - oh and I'mn not a medic so please don't feel the need to send me a picture of it :P). Best of luck, anyway.

Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 21:18

ffs. was just getting phone camera into position to post relevant photo in profile area for madamez to diagnose!
ok. right. am going to make totally shamey appointment with doc tmrw. am going to take charge of my own sexual health like an adult. crikey. thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 22:04

i just want to bump this up,,,

OP posts:
Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 22:05

to saee if anyone else has had a similar experience...i thought that this would have been standrard for us mums.

OP posts:
Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 22:05

am i wrong?
am i the only bloody one to have this rubbish stretched beyone recognitiion fanjo and a 22 yo husband to keep entertained with it?!
help.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 31/10/2007 22:12

The cones aren't really worth bothering with - or so I've been told by a friend who's a pelvic floor physio. Pilates helps, as does doing pelvic floors in different positions, e.g. sitting, standing, with legs apart, etc.

Original poster
olala · 31/10/2007 22:13

am pelvic flooring while standing up typing and drinking burgundy, is this helping?
will try out on DH when he gets home from work!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 01/11/2007 14:55

can you be more blunt about the exact problem? sorry but is it that you can't feel him..can he not feel you?

Try squeezing him whilst he's inside you...good exercise and fun for him.

Sorry i can't help after dd3 i seem to have the opposite problem...dunno how

Rhubarb · 01/11/2007 14:58

I'm wondering what the photos were going to be of!

Pelvic floor. Your muscles are stretched and you need to get them back into shape. Then even if your opening has stretched, your muscles will be taut enough to be able to grip him.

TwangTheStrawberriesAreSweet · 01/11/2007 23:33

My last dc was 10lb 10z and I have recently had major surgery to get it back to something decent. It's like a 16 year olds now!!
Get to the docs and ask.

StarryStarryNight · 01/11/2007 23:40

I was as wide as a Ferry with an open mouth.

Not anymore. Took a year. Pelvic floor exercises helped too. And general exercise.

StarryStarryNight · 01/11/2007 23:45

Oh can somebody purleeeze come and say something, I cannot possibly be a threadkiller with that statement!

gibberish · 01/11/2007 23:49

rofl!!! No tis true. Pelvic floor exercises do indeed help.

If you do them that is

Wisteria · 02/11/2007 09:43

Try to get into the habit of tightening your pelvic floor at all times.

I even do it while walking the dog - Imagine you have just got a pair of jeans out of the tumble drier and you have to suck it all in otherwise the zip will come down (you obviously might not know what this feels like being so slim 'n' all ), but if you do this, it is easier to pull the pelvic floor up at the same time!

kellybrook · 02/11/2007 20:14

twang - how major was the surgery?!

greenday · 02/11/2007 20:21

Starrystarrynight - apart from pelvic exercises, did you do anything else to improve your ferry?

namechangeforsexsubject · 02/11/2007 20:23

How do you know when you're loose? This is something that has worried me but I have always found that when condoms are used it feels slippery and not so good iyswim. Anyone else agree?

ShinyHappyRocketsGoingBANG · 02/11/2007 20:28

You have to train yourself to do the exercises every time you do something else, like when you're on the phone, when you turn a tap on (do 10, short sharp, then long.. in..hold..out), while you read the DC a story.

Best thing about them is you can do them anywhere and in a multi task manner!

suwoo · 02/11/2007 20:28

I had to see the fanny physio after DD and I still can't do pelvic floors whilst standing, they are only possible whilst sitting . Can you elaborate on that tumble drier analogy Wisteria, I'm not with you???