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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

At what age did you 'settle' down with kids? Marriage?

31 replies

GenevieD · 01/10/2020 23:24

I am a single parent to my 5 yr old DD, been with my on / off current partner for over a year.

I've just turned 31 and I am just starting out in my career which I absolutely adore and have worked hard to get in the position that I am in right now, I just have a few nightly issues.

My partner doesnt want any more children he has 2 and is older. I am quite happy just me and my little girl and enjoying our time together and also progressing up my career ladder would mean babies are out the picture for another couple of years atleast!

I am just concerned that lifes passing me by ad I'm past the age of having a family, because ultimately in the future I do want to have that family unit. I think turning 31 recently has just made me think in a lot more detail about my future. Especially because current on/off partner is against having babies.

What ages did you meet your partners and have your families?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 01/10/2020 23:34

Met him when I was 26
Married at 29
dc at 31, 34, and 37

However, I have friends who got together before they were 20, and I've got friends who didn't get together until they were 44 and 38 who have just had their first baby at 48 and 42. It will vary wildly.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 02/10/2020 00:18

Met DH when I was 20, had DS at 21, got married at 22. I'm 41 now and widowed - I have no regrets. I am younger now than DH was when we met, but I have no plans to have another relationship. He was my person.

Carrive · 02/10/2020 00:19

Met at 18, engaged at 30, married at 30, DC1 at 31 and DC2 at 33. Undecided on anymore children but will ideally make decision within the year as would prefer to keep babies to my mid 30’s if we intend to have more as it’s exhausting and I am starting to feel my age Grin

wishing3 · 02/10/2020 00:22

Met at 36, pregnant and engaged at 38. I hope you get the family unit that you want.

JaJaDingDong · 02/10/2020 00:22

Met at 32. Married at 32. DC1 at 34. DC2 at 36.

He is 3 years younger.

IndieTara · 02/10/2020 00:24

Met at 39 married at 40 and gave birth to my only DC at 42

thatonesmine · 02/10/2020 00:27

Met at 22 but just as friends, got together at 24. First child at 28 , second at 31, married at 38. Been together as a couple 40 years.

Notashandyta · 02/10/2020 00:30

Met when I was 31. Married at 33. Miscarriage at just turned 35.

Ds1 at 35, dd1 at 37, dd2 at 38. Felt done then and very lucky to feel that way.

SodaPerson · 02/10/2020 00:33

@GenevieD

I am a single parent to my 5 yr old DD, been with my on / off current partner for over a year.

I've just turned 31 and I am just starting out in my career which I absolutely adore and have worked hard to get in the position that I am in right now, I just have a few nightly issues.

My partner doesnt want any more children he has 2 and is older. I am quite happy just me and my little girl and enjoying our time together and also progressing up my career ladder would mean babies are out the picture for another couple of years atleast!

I am just concerned that lifes passing me by ad I'm past the age of having a family, because ultimately in the future I do want to have that family unit. I think turning 31 recently has just made me think in a lot more detail about my future. Especially because current on/off partner is against having babies.

What ages did you meet your partners and have your families?

Surely if you already have a child, and if you settle down with someone else, I would think that counts as a family unit.

But what is an on / off partner...?

Shmithecat2 · 02/10/2020 00:38

Got together with DH at 35, married at 37, had DS at 40. DH is 6 years older than me.

DramaAlpaca · 02/10/2020 00:49

It was 30-odd years ago so times have changed, but I met DH at 24, got married at 26. First DS at 29, then the other two at 30 and 33. I look back and thing how young I was getting married, but it was so right for us.

notso · 02/10/2020 00:59

I was 19 when we moved in together and had DC1.

Shakespearsister · 02/10/2020 05:48

In a relationship with my DH from the age of 14 , married at 22 had kids 24, 25 , 27. I'm 42. Absolutely no regrets.

PinkJellycat · 02/10/2020 05:52

Met at 21. Started dating at 22. Married at 24. DC1 at 26.

ukgift2016 · 02/10/2020 05:54

Well you are settled down with your child? If you don't have a stable relationship with your boyfriend, end it. Life too short.

I had my DD age 22, split from her father age 25 and now age 31 am engaged and trying for a second baby.

SchmooobyDoo · 02/10/2020 05:55

Got married at 40. Baby at 44.

MyOtherProfile · 02/10/2020 06:03

Met at 35, married at 36, babies at 37 and 39. He is the same age.

Pearsapiece · 02/10/2020 06:04

Met when I was 17, married at 20, dc1 at 23, dc2 due in feb and I'm 25. Doesn't really help you I don't think! Dh is 8 years older than me though so more your age. He was 31 when we had ds and is 33 now when dc2 is due.

Indoctro · 02/10/2020 06:08

Met - 30
Married- 32
1st child - 34
2nd child -36

twinkletoesimnot · 02/10/2020 06:34

Met at 13
Had ds1 when I was 15
Got married at 16

5 more dc and nearly 23 years later we are still together and still think the world of each other.

The beginning wasn't ideal (obviously) but other than being a couple of years older when I had ds1, I wouldn't change a thing.

We have both worked hard, supported each other, and now I am a primary school teacher Smile

toomanypillows · 02/10/2020 06:44

Met DH at 23, married at 24.
Had DS when I was 36 and DD when I was 40

Wouldn't change a minute

Freckles1161 · 02/10/2020 06:53

Met DH at 17, he was 4 years older. Engaged and bought flat at 21. Married at 25, had first dd at 29, 2nd dd at 34 and 3rd dd at 39

stillfeelingmad · 02/10/2020 07:16

Met at 28, married at 30 dc at 31 and 33. Worked out ok for us, both well established in careers before babies came along

CoffeeandKitKat · 02/10/2020 07:22

Met at 18.
Bought first house at 21.
Married at 26.
DS born aged 29.

SaveUsername123456 · 02/10/2020 08:36

Met at 15
Got together at 16
Moved in together at 23
Got married at 25
Due first child in a few weeks at 27

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