Is another divorce shameful?

[PloddingAlong123]

Hi there

I was wondering what people's honest opinions are.

I have been married 3 times.

The first I was pretty much a kid, 20. Then I married the father of my two oldest children 5 years after we divorced.

After some time we, too, divorced and I'm now on my third marriage which has has lasted 10 years to date

Here's my question. If a third divorce were to happen, would I be judged?

Perhaps difficult to say without knowing the reasons for each. But in theory, without that knowledge, what are your opinions?

Ty.

Surely it depends on the reasons
It’s not your fault if your husband/s dies or cheats or is abusive

If you were my friend I would judge in a light hearted way. And as it is the opposite of how I’ve lived my life I would be looking at you curiously. Getting married and divorced 3 times takes a lot of energy and effort. All that planning and paperwork.

But I don’t think you should be ashamed of it. And the alternative would be very poor for you, so put any thoughts of shame out of your head.

I'd never judge a divorce but I'd judge you if you got married again

I would not judge - although I have to say these responses are shocking considering a few weeks ago a man in your sitution almost exactly was deemed a huge red flag and nobody would go near him!

How many divorces have you had is not a question I would ask someone. Lots of people have mutilply long term relationships. Don’t stay in a broken marriage because you are worried what others will think!

i would judge you to the extent that if you invited me to wedding number 4 i'd probably laugh. And be unable to resist laughing to myself during any vows.

but it doesn't affect me if you marry/divorce lots at all.
A new chap you are dating may judge you.

Why would people judge people marrying again? Life is long!

I'd only judge if you expected presents every time!

there's no need to be ashamed. divorces are perfectly natural.

As a friend I would kindly suggest counselling to get to the bottom of why you keep picking duds assuming that is what's happened each time

I think it's a bit naive to ask why people would judge. People judge all the time, over all sorts of things. The trick is to be confident in your choices and not give a fuck. Cos it really doesn't matter.

Other people's opinions of me are none of my business, and all that. Easy to say, harder to live, but worth aiming for.