I guess I just wanted to come on here and vent, as romantic relationships is an area of my life that I feel like just never goes right and I'm so tired of it.
My relationships either go 2 ways- either I realise that there's no spark and end it, or they disrespect me in some way and the relationship ends. For the past few years, all I seem to be getting is bad luck.
The first man that I ever properly loved lead me on for a month before telling me he didn't want a relationship.
The next man was my idea of a perfect boyfriend/fiance/husband and I believed that our relationship was going to last. We ended up getting pregnant with a little boy together- not planned but he was the biggest blessing in my life. However, less than a month into my pregnancy I found out that he had been cheating for the past few months with multiple different women. I had been with this man for two years at this point, and we'd planned out our whole future together, so it really turned my life upside down. We had a messy breakup and then I took many years out fro the dating to heal and focus on our son. My ex moved on straight away with one of his side pieces and they have been together ever since.
Around a year ago, I finally felt like dating again. But the issue is, it takes a long shot for me to actually feel a spark for someone. I went on so many dates I've lost count, yet I found no one who sparked my interest.
Then unexpectedly, a friend of a friend came into my life and suddenly I felt something again. He made me feel excited about life, and most importantly he was lovely with my son. He also seemed very down to earth and genuine, which I felt was more trustworthy than loud and vain like my ex had been. We were seeing each other for some time, and I was expecting things to progress into a relationship. But then there was a bombshell. It turned out that he had a secret girlfriend, and now I was the side piece.
This happened about a month ago and I'm still trying to process everything. Obviously we broke it off, but I can't help wondering why I have such bad luck with relationships. There are plenty of men who seem nice enough that approach me, but try as I might, I just can't feel that spark or attraction. The last time I was with a loving partner who I loved back was over 7 years ago. It feels like everyone who ever lies, cheats or disrespects me has gone on to have their happy ending whilst I'm stuck in this never ending cycle of bad dates, alone and miserable.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. If anyone has any positive stories about how their partner has eventually come along then I'd love to hear them. I love my son more than life itself, but I always had the picture of myself being married with my own little family by now and I can't pretend that this doesn't hurt.