Think he's cheating?

[underthe]

So about a year ago I found a app on my boyfriend phone when I was looking for his music app 🤦‍♀️ it was a dating app he couldn't of had it long as there wasn't much on there only a picture of himself to a person saying hey this is a picture of myself just in case you want to know what I look like. I asked him about it he said he don't know what I'm talking about he even deleted the app ect till I showed him the screenshot then he was like I was just seeing what it was ect, now today I switched of his alarm for work and it came up with a selfie he has taken last night he slept on the sofa, I asked and he deleted it and said he don't know what I'm taking about 😭 till I got up his deleted pictures and it was there he said he hasn't done anything and he was embarrassed that I seen the selfie he has been taken there was more then one in his deleted pictures! I'm worried he set up a website or something? I'm I bring to over the top! 😭

I really dont like the use of the word ‘playing’ when used in conjunction with family men with partners. It makes it sound a totally harmless bit of fun , it simply isn’t, it’s ‘out the door’ as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure many non single ladies on here get bored and fancy an ego boost but wouldn’t dream of ‘playing’ and if they do , they need to give serious thought as to whether they are in the right relationship

To be frank these apps all sound quite fun if you are single and not with someone , I think some people get hooked on them when single and then find it hard to go cold turkey when with someone. I know someone like this and it’s a ‘she’ . Couldn’t quite bring herself to stop looking, it didn’t end well

It's kik, it's anon and it's the app many people use to chat after meeting somewhere else online.

You can send pics, take pics and video easily.

I'll ignore the pearl clutchers, my point was simply that you can't simply demonize anyone who cheats. Life isn't that black or white.

Sorry OP, he's clearly betraying your trust, how far it has gone, who knows.

He's saying he hasn't done anything, and the kik come up on a add on Facebook a year ago and he don't use it anymore, and he only sent that one message and forgot it was there he swear on our kids life, he hasn't gone anything, still not sure what to think! I love him and deep down I don't think he would of done anything, he knows it would devastate the kids if we spit up, I also don't think he's smart enough to hide things on his phone, he didn't even know there's a folder for deleted photos 😂 all I can do now is wait and see if anything else happens or I have some prove he's doing something behind my back, and it would be over in heart beat!

God only knows if he's cheating. One thing you do know is that twice you have caught him in a lie which he only admitted to because you were clever enough to get evidence.

That's gaslighting no? How can you trust anything he says?

You’re believing that? Why did he secretly send a woman a pic of himself? I’ve been on Facebook over ten years and never had it pop up he’s a liar and you’re being naive.

I’d suggest he’s been using the app for at least a year, both times you’ve asked him both times he’s deleted the pics and only admits when you show him the pics but yet you maintain he’d never do anything, seriously is what he’s done not bad enough there’s probably a lot more you know nothing about.

I don't trust him and we're not ok, Just don't want to break up our family I feel for our children

You’re not doing anything it’s him risking it all

Yeah I know but I don't have any evidence he's cheating do I not really?

There’s no quick and certainly no easy solution to this. But it’s very common if that’s any comfort😢

Take your time OP. Make your plans.

No evidence of what! He was messaging women with X’s on a secret app. That’s more than enough. It’s probably more than you know but even what you do know is enough!

Can you gain access to his emails? If he’s dating online you get an email to say if they have a new message

But you do have evidence and you also don’t trust him. Both valid reasons to split up with someone. I know it would be a shame to split up for the kids but what about you? Constantly wondering what he’s up to, I’ve been where you are and it doesn’t end well. Good luck to you.

I'll ignore the pearl clutchers, my point was simply that you can't simply demonize anyone who cheats. Life isn't that black or white.*

You most certainly can, and most people do. The people that don't demonize cheaters are cheaters themselves. I guess the cap fits...

Awww I'm sorry.. kik is widely used for sex chat, sharing pictures and videos etc (I would know..)
The thing is with it, when you log out you can delete the whole chat history at the same time. That would explain why there's no other messages i dont think theres any other reason he would have it. The main perpose is that you don't have to give anyway your real contact details.. why would he need to do that?

I joined my fitness pal years ago and its shocking the amount married people on there who use it for sex chat.. its almost a running not funny joke across the forums.

He's has my fitness pal ? Does that make a difference?

Yes

I'll help you find out if you want to give me his username??

Or you can make a fake account and find him, flirt via pm and see what he does.. you'll need a fake picture for your profile. Just use a body from Google.

I'm broken I when on to his email and it was log in to another account and it's full of women 😭 he's been paying for them 😭😭 just kicked him out I'm sooooo hurt

Oh op
Your suspicions were right.
How do you mean paying for them?? Like a webcam or porn? Has he actually been chatting with them?
Personally I would be hurt but I don't think I'd break up if he was just buying or downloading pictures from the internet.

I’m so sorry OP.

Rummage in there as much as you can and take screenshots, I say this because you will doubt yourself later and he will clean the account up and try to convince you it was a minor misdemeanour.

Search with keywords for sites in his email and his browser and you’ll get a better picture.

I went through it all too. At times I’d almost not be able to believe it actually happened and I’d look at the screenshots. He thought he was being careful using browsers incognito etc - but all it takes is something to open in a new browser window and hey presto you are on the trail. What I uncovered - a lifetime of using prostitutes, sniffing online at everything with a pulse, an addiction to chat apps .... I could easily have missed it but something led me to the mystery email address where he was running his double life from.

The absolute spanner. God what a dick. I’m so sorry.

I couldn't look to much as he taken his phone of me and has now gone, how do I tell the kids? He won't be home I have a 5 year old and 2 year old how loves her daddy 😭

Yes and he’s fucking up his whole family doing this shit, including your little girl who loves her daddy. What did he say?? What happened?