Me and DH have 2 young DC together aged 3 and 3 months. Happy healthy kids and feel very thankful for them.
However mine and DH relationship has taken a hit, like I assume all relationships can do after babies come along.
I’m sure he says I constantly nag, and I feel like he’s utterly selfish. He is self employed and works pretty much 8-5 mon- fri and then has a hobby which he loves but also brings in some extra money, hobby is an every day commitment so approx 30 mins to an hour every day plus he will spend all day Saturday on this. Always justified by the fact that it pays for some things for us like.
He also always has something to do on the evenings. I feel like he is forever putting himself first. It’s like if he looks after one of the DC it’s a real favour to me. I really struggle with feeling as though all the concerns over the children fall on my shoulders. Every time I attempt to tell him how I feel he sees it as an attack on him personally and reacts so defensively.
It pains me to say it but I’m starting to feel like I just don’t care any more. I feel like I want to just plod in with the kids and do it myself. I’m sick of forcing him to be involved and then feeling like he’s taking part because I am making him rather than it’s what he wants. He helps with bedtime routine most nights but has so little patience for our 3 yo and I could cry that he doesn’t seem to appreciate how wonderful and how much fun he is.
There’s nothing I can do about this is there? I just need to get on with it for now don’t I?