Bit shy to ask, but a question regarding Lube etiquette

[lolaflores]

Honestly, I am not some mucky bugger, I do have an honest to God question.
Over the alst few months, Dh and I have noticed that I am experiencing discomfort during sex and he mentioned, almost off hand that it was for him too.
I am on HRT but hadn't realised that I wasn't ...I really don't know how to phrase it.
Anyway. We decided to buy some Lube.
last night we gave it a test run.
We sat there handing the bottle backwards and forwards going...
After you...no no..after you...
Oh I insist DH, isn't it the gentlemans job?
Erm...Not sure. Never asked.
We were weeping with laughter and eventually I took charge and applied it.
Made an enormous difference and I realised, sadly, that sex had become something I was avoiding because it was so painful....silly aren't I but you live and learm
If any one can enlighten me...we'd be very grateful

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If you've found this page in search of lubes that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best lubricants useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

a question regarding Lube etiquette Who slathers up?

According to Debrett's it's always the Host who slathers. The Guest should offer but it's a huge faux pas if the Host doesn't insist on lubing the Guest up. Incorrectly passing the lube is one of those little ways posh people can always tell if you are common.

Of course the Queen employs a Royal Slatherer, in a tradition brought over by the Dutch and dating back to the glorious revolution.

Oh fuck me @Don....we have to get all U or non-U about this???

As to whether coconut oil destroys condoms. I personally, cannot see why it would. I have however, read the narrative on the web.

If youre worried on condoms/STI thing then use waterbased. But be minded they are no where near as effective as oil based.

Mineral oil, as in refined an cracked petroleum based CHO group oils such as vaseline and mineral oils (baby oil), do not have the same chemical structure as natural, plant based ones.

On that basis, I question if coconut can destroy latex. But its always better to be safe than sorry.

Boots own brand lubricating jelly is brilliant

Renarde my husband is a chemical engineer, I will pass that info along to him and he will no doubt get quite the stiffie off it. Thats dirty talk where he works.
I did think about looking in Debrettes but I thought it only went as far as prodding the staff. Not the visitors.
I am laughing my head off here and DH is looking at me odd

All oil based lube, natural or mineral, damages condoms. Has to be water based (which most lubes sold for sex are) with condoms.

@Renarde I shared that photo on a large FB group (about skincare... lol) and one of the women is ordering some to give out for hen / bachelorette pressies! What killed me was the final bit being perfect English “or smear over the cock”! 😂

@Mrsmummy90 posh wank for me is using lube! lol

So,we have 2 people having what looks like good sex again, worried about who goes first with the lube.

Put a rota on the fridge door with a magnet. Who ever goes first with the lube, the other goes first with oral. simples!

Coconut oil, it's natural and mild and edible 👍