Bit shy to ask, but a question regarding Lube etiquette

[lolaflores]

Honestly, I am not some mucky bugger, I do have an honest to God question.
Over the alst few months, Dh and I have noticed that I am experiencing discomfort during sex and he mentioned, almost off hand that it was for him too.
I am on HRT but hadn't realised that I wasn't ...I really don't know how to phrase it.
Anyway. We decided to buy some Lube.
last night we gave it a test run.
We sat there handing the bottle backwards and forwards going...
After you...no no..after you...
Oh I insist DH, isn't it the gentlemans job?
Erm...Not sure. Never asked.
We were weeping with laughter and eventually I took charge and applied it.
Made an enormous difference and I realised, sadly, that sex had become something I was avoiding because it was so painful....silly aren't I but you live and learm
If any one can enlighten me...we'd be very grateful

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If you've found this page in search of lubes that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best lubricants useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

It's never really been an issue with DH and I tbh. We both just use it and then stick to bottle on the floor and wipe our hands on a towel/covers (If they're due to go in the wash).
We've never mentioned who uses it first lol

Another fan of Sylk here. I don't know if this happens to everyone, but I had to use it during menopause, but 5 years on, don't need lube any more, I'm back to normal.

I prefer my husband to apply it both for vaginal and anal intercourse. I find it more exciting for him to do it (as I'm sure many women do) because it has an almost, what's the word, clinical, maybe, gynecological way.

But then again, I am a pervert.

Oh wow! I thought once the tap went off it stayed off.
8s a posh wank less labour intensive?

As long as you're both having a laugh about it it doesn't matter who put it on
In my experience the guy usually squeezes a bit on his dick before penetration - no need to Make sure it's coated as the actual sex will do that for you!

A posh wank is much less labour intensive! Plus its not that often that he gets one so it is a trill thing too so he usually comes faster. BJs maybe twice or three times a month, posh wanks maybe ever 2 to 3 months! haha

Although that's true, that your body will provide natural lubrication, I find it exciting for DH to put it inside me as well. KY, or astroglide, silk, whatever you prefer, can be part of the foreplay. It doesn't have to be as mundane as a man putting on a condom. Just my opinion though.

Good luck, whatever you decide! Just have fun!

Difference between posh wank vs wank? I can't work it out.

yes, what is posh about it?

@lolaflores Tesco own brand lube is our fave! All other brands I've found a bit stingy and sore. The Tesco one is really much gentler and cheap!

What about trying this stuff?

Also, what is a posh wank??

Put tube on the radiator for a few mins.
Pass the parcel!!!

My OH does the honours. KY jelly is probably the best. I tend to shower if we've used it as I don't like the mucky feel.

Posh wank is where the guy wears a condom. It saves on mess lol

You could talk to gp, a different hrt may be better. Or oestrogen cream. Ky gel is good, either of you can put it on yourself or your partner, can be part of the fun

Sorry OP. Thanl yoy for takimg my comment in the spirit it was intended

Best lube, by far, is very simple plain old coconut oil. Totally natural, safe to ingest, not gritty and has good staying power. The only lube I use for anal and sometimes vag if I've had a monster sesh.

My advice is to never leave just hints - re:jug. Be clear. Best way. As to who does the 'loobing'. Both and its based on practicalities really.

If anal/doggy - I leave it to them. If vaginal, then ill probably do it. Although, if irs vaginal, we use saliva. Im sure i dont need to draw a fiagram on how the saliva (his) gets there.

But like @Miss, we're both dirty fucking perverts anyway!

Genuine HTH OP.

Oh FFS on typos!

Oh cheers one and all for illumination that has revealed so much.
I think an HRT rethink might be worth scheduling.
Posh wanks....I think we'll deal with who does what with the lube for now and revisit the wanks later.
It was so funny and stupid a d I was surprised at how unprepared we were. Pair if ejits that we r.
Still lots to learn

@Dusty

Oh my stars, looked at your picture and read the text...

"Genuine cancellation to fuck?"

I am CREASING myself with laughter! 🤣🤣🤣

I HAVE to work that phrase into a sentence with my DP.

Coconut oil not an option for us because of condoms.

Yes! Lube is formulated for the menopause and shouldn’t cause you any bother. It’s what our local menopause specialist recommends to women. In addition you may benefit from some vaginal oestrogen cream.

@Renarde it’s just hilarious!!! Not sure I’ve ever been crushed in the vagina.

My rulenis: whoever is on top!

I can't believe you've gone this ling without using it I think have something wrong with my downstairs as it's impossible for me to have sex without lube and always has been. I apply it as part of foreplay.

@Dusty...STOP! I hadnt even read 'being crushed in the vagina!'

I. Cant. Even