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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling to work out what this insult actually means?

58 replies

JeremyPacman · 19/01/2019 22:57

I work in a pub, there's quite a few us there who are students, early 20s - mostly female but some male. There's a very regular group of blokes who come in who are v friendly with the landlord.

We are all friends, go out to clubs together, have lock ins. Very matey.

Tonight I was working and one the blokes were all in. Sat on a table together, usual thing. Then one of them came over to 'tell me something' put his arm around and me and said in my ear:

"you look shit from behind" as if he was doing me some kind of behaviour? I asked him to repeat it as he I couldn't make sense of what he'd said - he said it in the way you'd tell someone their flies were undone, if that makes sense. like a favour?

But i have no control of how I look 'from behind' whilst doing my job so whilst I'm certain he intended to insult me and could have got to grips with a message like "you have a fat arse" ( I don't, btw, I'm a size 10 with a slim arse, I'm apple shaped so fat belly would have been a proper insult) I don't know what he means.

I mean...I know he was putting me in my place, but since when was "you look shit from behind" a thing?!

OP posts:
JeremyPacman · 19/01/2019 22:58

some kind of favour, sorry. Been a long day I was supposed to finish at 6 and stayed on late only just sat down.

OP posts:
watt36 · 19/01/2019 22:59

What a wanker. I hope you told him to piss off and that he looked shit from every angle.

PolkaDoting · 19/01/2019 22:59

He was negging you. Definition = Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances.

BastardGoDarkly · 19/01/2019 23:02

How weird?! That's definitely what he said?

Fusioluxe · 19/01/2019 23:02

Inferiority complex. Knew he didn’t have a chance so picked on something he thought you’d worry about because it’s hard to see what you look like from behind.

Professional twat who picks on people for kicks.

Sorry you came across him.

Flowers
JeremyPacman · 19/01/2019 23:04

Thanks. Bastard I share your wtf - like, he could specifically have picked up on something but this weirdly generic 'from behind' comment is like...eh? SO I'm in an 8 from the front and a 2 from behind? And I need to be told that?

Like...insult me properly and I'll do it back you short, fat, chipmunk faced weasel.

OP posts:
Neolara · 19/01/2019 23:04

I think what it means is "I just want to give you a quick heads up that I am a misogynistic arse and I am not creative so I can only think of very simple concepts when I want to insult someone. ". Don't waste any more of your time thinking about it.

babysharkah · 19/01/2019 23:04

He's an absolute cock.

willyloman · 19/01/2019 23:08

Tell him you might look shit from behind but he should walk backwards to hide his shit face.

cananybodyfindmesomeonetolove · 19/01/2019 23:08

eugh. tosser

DarklyDreamingDexter · 19/01/2019 23:08

Fucking rude. Yeah, feeble attempt at negging. Steer clear of him in future, the twat.

Bostin · 19/01/2019 23:09

What an arse. Only way to make himself feel good is to puncture someone else. Give him no more thought.

HabitualLurker · 19/01/2019 23:10

It means nothing. Some people get a kick out of trying to make other people feel bad. Probably he was pissed and thought it made him big and clever. What a twazzock. Easier said than done, but try to forget about it.

mistermagpie · 19/01/2019 23:11

What a weird insult, I would just forget it. I bet he was no oil painting either. That said, about 20 years ago someone said to me 'it's a shame you've got such small boobs for a fat girl' and I've never forgotten it. I mean, what the hell do men think we are going to do with this critique? On a good day I would love to have a sassy retort to this utter nonsense, but in reality you're better off just ignoring the idiot.

JeremyPacman · 19/01/2019 23:14

" I bet he was no oil painting either"

To be fair, on an objetctive level I am not bad looking. So I don't think I fall into the not an oil painting category.

OP posts:
steppemum · 19/01/2019 23:16

next time he is in, go over to his table, beckon him in a little closer, and then accidentally spill the drink you are carrying all over him.

Tony2 · 19/01/2019 23:21

Two words. Get out. Spent years working in bars and some pretty serious piss taking, amongst friends crucially, yep, fine. Your authority, you are mistress of all you survey, never ever let yourself feel intimidated, tell him he's barred. He'll get the shock of his pathetic life.

SuperSuperSuper · 19/01/2019 23:23

A kid at school told me that I was "the second ugliest girl in our class" (I was actually fairly pretty). Apparently he fancied me. Next week he asked me out.

In his defence, he was 13. Not sure what your mate's defence is! He sounds very clumsy and immature.

Grace212 · 19/01/2019 23:25

negging

he will likely ask you out next time. They're all fucking insane, these sorts of blokes.

Travisandthemonkey · 19/01/2019 23:26

You’ve got to use the old mumsnet
Did you mean to be so rude

Look, he’s a sad fucker. Just feel sorry for him or put some laxatives in a drink of his, and laugh when he shits himself

Grace212 · 19/01/2019 23:26

mistermagpie "I mean, what the hell do men think we are going to do with this critique?"

they want to make you feel bad.

Dunin · 19/01/2019 23:33

He’s trying to get you to notice him. It’s pathetic really. Next time he comes to the bar, make him wait and serve him last.

Closetbeanmuncher · 19/01/2019 23:33

"Have you just eaten a dogshit sandwich because your breath stinks" would have been my reply

What a bell end

Angelicwings · 19/01/2019 23:34

Are you sure he wasn't a bit tipsy and he thought he was saying "shit HOT from behind" but it came out wrong? Was his overall manner sneery?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 19/01/2019 23:35

" Ah you needn't worry about that CuntyChops , you'll never be shagging me doggy style! "