Struggling to work out what this insult actually means?

[JeremyPacman]

I work in a pub, there's quite a few us there who are students, early 20s - mostly female but some male. There's a very regular group of blokes who come in who are v friendly with the landlord.

We are all friends, go out to clubs together, have lock ins. Very matey.

Tonight I was working and one the blokes were all in. Sat on a table together, usual thing. Then one of them came over to 'tell me something' put his arm around and me and said in my ear:

"you look shit from behind" as if he was doing me some kind of behaviour? I asked him to repeat it as he I couldn't make sense of what he'd said - he said it in the way you'd tell someone their flies were undone, if that makes sense. like a favour?

But i have no control of how I look 'from behind' whilst doing my job so whilst I'm certain he intended to insult me and could have got to grips with a message like "you have a fat arse" ( I don't, btw, I'm a size 10 with a slim arse, I'm apple shaped so fat belly would have been a proper insult) I don't know what he means.

I mean...I know he was putting me in my place, but since when was "you look shit from behind" a thing?!

(And, without doubt he fancies you either way).

Negging - so silly ! What an absolute wassock. I would have gone with “ unlike you I am beautiful on the inside too ! “ although 70isalimit’s response made me laugh.

@Closetbeanmuncher haha! Brilliant

Yes. Negging. Ridiculous and entirely abusive.

Angelicwings - I beg to differ. His hatred is palpable. (Not of the OP - because he doesn't know her - but of women in general.)

In my early 20s i once had a bloke run past me and say nice legs shame about the face. I’m now 54 and still remember it. I actually wasn’t that bad in my 20s, tall,slim and long blond hair. Bloody men and their put downs.

Hi OP, a long time ago I worked in a pub, I was a waitress and served tables. I had similar comments about 'shit from behind' , it was not personal, it was because I was going the wrong way, the beers were not flowing towrards them. don't take it personally, I earned enough money to pay my university fees,

He was either hammered and has absolutely no brain to mouth filter or sense of appropriate behaviour while drunk (or probably at all, due to.some mental/personality issue) therefore decided it was a good idea to call you over and tell you his recent 'shocking' discovery that you don't look as good from behind as from the front (which in a weird way suggests you look v good from the front) .. who knows why he was struck like that; maybe he's a Kim k arse type guy and yours isn't big/shelf like enough for him.

Or ... He's a nasty, bitter bastard who prob. knows he's never have a chance with someone like you and wanted to see the hurt and shock on your face when he delivered his insult/put down. That would make him feel good, like he got one over on you; there are a lot of men (and a few women like that).

Or he was negging you very clumsily (though I dontbthink.so).

"Aw, don't be mean; I'm always glad to see the back of you."

Or "Yeah, well, at least my personality isn't shit, unlike some people I could name..."

But yes, you're probably better off just giving an elaborate roll of the eyes, not wasting your breath on a reply, and forgetting the loser.

"I was a waitress and served tables. I had similar comments about 'shit from behind' , it was not personal, it was because I was going the wrong way, the beers were not flowing towrards them"

Ohhhh! That's a penny drop moment there. They have never been personal about my appearance before - it may well be a dig at my (shit) bartending...when we are not busy we do table service, esp for regulars...but tonight were rushed off our feet and they did not get any special service.

Still entitled wankers but that makes a lot more sense to me. Like I say, if they want to insult me how I look from behind makes no sense.

Utter cunt. He obviously likes you & thinks the only way to get you is to destroy your self worth. I'd tell everyone what he said and humiliate the cunt!

Well they are sad fuckers if they’re always there
I would genuinely take forever to serve the fucker from now on

I used to work in a pub and I overheard a woman (so it’s not always men who are guilty of this) telling a male acquaintance ‘they all have big bums in here don’t they’. Then she realised that I had probably heard what she’d said and tried to back track by saying ‘not that one though’. I was very young at the time (only about 17 so too young to pull pints) but that comment had a massive impact on my self esteem and I went on to have an eating disorder (both anorexia and then at some stage bulimia). I no longer suffer from either of these conditions but have suffered from the long-term physical consequences. People really should think before they come out with such nasty comments.

OP say something rude to him back

I am wondering like a previous post if it was something to do with not getting good enough service as opposed to actual targeting your butt. (Absolutely not making excuses for him by the way).

That's how I read it too - as in 'i like the look of you facing me serving drinks rather than with your back to me'

Sarcy bastard regardless

He fancies you. ‘You look shit from behind’ means that he doesn’t like it when you have your back to him or your walking away from him. It’s a shit compliment.

Yes - @LellyMcKelly called it. He means he likes you and doesn't like you walking away from him. He's trying (and failing) to be funny.

I'm another one wondering if you misheard him saying - you look shit hot from behind? In a clumsy drunk attempt to say you've got a nice bum.

If not and you definitely didn't mishear him I agree with all of the above and if he attempts anything similar again the line - urgh your breathe stinks, I meant to tell you that last time too - will hopefully shut the little cock up.

Many years I had sex with a good looking man I had fancied for a while. Straight after he told me I was not the best girl he had slept with! It stuck with me for a long time. Nowadays I would just have come back with a very cutting quip about the size of his dick!

He's mates with your boss? I'd be having a word about how his friends conduct themselves while you are working. I've worked in pubs for years and most landlords are pretty hot on pulling people up for mistreating their staff. What a dickhead.

Very hurtful and unnecessary. I don’t think it’s a sign he fancies you sorry. He obviously doesn’t like women and wants to bring them down a peg or two and he just happened to pick you at that moment. Foul man.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, could it be a joke like lelly explained?

I was in bed with a guy I'd just met the night before and a message beeped on his phone and he asked me to pass it to him. I caught a glimpse of it on the screen. It said 'Is she as ugly as she looked last night?'

I was only 22 and had been told that I was very good looking (it has all gone wrong now after 3 dcs ). It hurt but even back then I remember thinking that said more about the sender than me. And the guy who I was with looked disgusted and shook his head so at least I know he liked me. Some men just hate women. Wtf?

But I do agree that this was probably him trying to wheedle table service from you OP.

So it was more a ‘you make a better door than a window’ type comment? So would have made more sense if he’d said ‘you look better coming than going’. Obviously still not ideal but can be put down to clumsy, slightly pissed attempt at banter rather than deliberate nastiness.