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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Meeting someone after 40

41 replies

user1490465531 · 06/12/2018 09:55

Please help.Just having a wobble as turning 40 still single and wondering if I should of dated more in my 30s and everyone seems to think chances of finding a decent partner as a woman are slim once you hit 40 and over.
Be great to hear any success stories of finding love after 40 to cheer me up.

OP posts:
Ohjellybelly · 06/12/2018 10:12

I have no idea. I'm 40 now and just dipping my toe into the whole OLD scene. It all seems a little strange but here's hoping for the best!
I'll watch this thread with interest

Musti · 06/12/2018 10:15

I'm late 40s and started OLD 6 months ago. Saw a few men who were nice but I knew they weren't for me but I'm now seeing an amazing guy and feel like a teenager again.

Musti · 06/12/2018 10:15

By the way I had very high standards and didn't compromise. I wanted something great or I would rather be on my own. I was extremely picky.

hellsbellsmelons · 06/12/2018 10:19

Not success stories as such but I date quite a bit.
Had a couple of short term relationships.
But it's not for me.
I still get asked out all the time and I'm 50!
So of course there is hope for you if that's what you want.
I just don't want it!
As PP said - don't compromise.
Finish anything that doesn't feel right.
Don't settle!

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 06/12/2018 10:20

I met my partner when I was 53, it is definitely possible to not settle for second best and be very happy well into middle age.

jessstan2 · 06/12/2018 10:21

Plenty of people date successfully and have a great time after the age of forty. They have more fun than when they were young too and look amazing.

Trinity66 · 06/12/2018 10:38

My mom found someone in her mid 50's after her and my dad split up. They're married now and very happy

userxx · 06/12/2018 10:51

Its just a number!!! I think you have more chance of dating in your 40's as there are more available people, breakdown of LTR's and all that. As others have said do not compromise or settle.

I'm early 40's and have recently met the most amazing man - you just need to be open to all possibilities.

Closetbeanmuncher · 06/12/2018 10:55

Late 30s here and realistically due to circumstances no chance of dating until mid to late forties...Also very particular in terms of character attributes I'm looking for and would also definitely rather be alone than settle.

@Musti you've given me hope Smile

Watching this one with interest....

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 06/12/2018 10:58

I met my lovely DP (on Tinder!) when I was 39 and he was 43. Two and a bit years down the line and we're very happy and moving in together in the new year.
I have one child, he has none. Both of us have one LTR under our belts, and various short term things/random dates until we met each other.
Two of his friends (also around 45) have recently started relationships too. There is hope!

MollysGirl · 06/12/2018 11:00

I’m 48 and never short of date requests when I can bothered
Dating at the moment & enjoying it v much - first date with real funny and interesting guy at the weekend

Tigerbear · 06/12/2018 11:03

I’m 41 and met my amazing DP (48) 9 months ago. He moved in at the beginning of September :-)

This is by far the most incredible relationship I’ve ever had.
It might take a while to find him (by god, I met so many weird men - and dated them - before this one).
But don’t give up hope!

user1490465531 · 06/12/2018 11:14

Great to hear so much positive comments on here after reading so much negative stuff and not knowing anyone in real life who is dating as a 40+ woman so nothing to go by.

OP posts:
Snowwontbelong · 06/12/2018 11:17

Met a stranger in a pub at 42. Never had a night apart in over 6 years!! Married with a ds now.
*not first dh though!!

userxx · 06/12/2018 11:31

Snowwontbelong - how old were you when you had your son if you don't mind me asking?

Sunshineandflipflops · 06/12/2018 11:39

I separated from my husband a year ago, turned 40 in the summer and have had a fair few dates, a couple of them lasting a couple of months or so but now single again. I'd love to meet someone special but as @Musti said, I don't want to settle for anything less than amazing...whatever shape or size that may come in. The problem with OLD dating though is that we have to form an initial opinion on a photo and I'm about more than that. Not even come close to meeting anyone in real life as everyone seems to OLD and close their eyes to what's around them now.

AnaViaSalamanca · 06/12/2018 11:53

Age is just a number, but if it bothers you, it will limit you. Yes the chances of meeting someone would be less as you grow older since some people are already coupled up, but you just need one person, not hundreds, and there are many many single men.

Liberate yourself from this nonsense and be confident in your worth whatever age or shape you are.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 06/12/2018 12:01

Such a lovely thread! I'm single again after a strange 7 year relationship that I wouldn't really fully commit to after a horrific divorce.

Currently don't want anything but it'll be interesting doing OLD again

BitOutOfPractice · 06/12/2018 13:08

I was 46 when I found myself single and tbh I found that there were tons of nice men out there. I met my current DP at 47 and we are very happy. He's the loveliest man I've ever met Smile

Snowwontbelong · 06/12/2018 13:09

Had ds at 43, not my first but one and only for dh (10 years my junior!!)

WingingItStill · 06/12/2018 13:13

I am 40 in January & had my third date with a lovely guy last night.

Met online so we’ll see how we go!

DoYouLikeBasghetti · 06/12/2018 13:24

I've just turned 40 and had a fling with a very sexy 20 something that I met in a bar. It wasn't serious but it certainly put a spring in my step! Wink

NaToth · 06/12/2018 13:29

I was 46 when I met DH. We both got involved in the same community project and it went on from there.

Get out there, do the things you're interested in and you'll meet people, cast your net wide.

fantasmasgoria1 · 06/12/2018 14:31

I am 43 and I met my fiance at 41. Moved in together after 2 months, engaged after 5 months and together now for 2 years. I know loads of people who meet partners after 40! 40 is young these days!

OhioOhioOhio · 06/12/2018 14:41

I have no idea. Hoping to learn from here.

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