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Original poster

Made a mistake with one night stand haven't I?

52 replies

charlieflipped · 26/05/2018 11:31

So there is a guy a know through my place of work, he's our customer so see him regularly, Def chemistry there between us and a bit of a build up so last night after seeing him he out socially with a group I went back to his and slept with him.

All lovely and he's a good guy told me I was welcomed to stay and sleep when he got up at 7am for work ( I didn't ) when we left he gave me a kiss etc but didn't ask for my number or anything.

I was a idiot wasn't I? This is now just going to become a drunken shag as and when isn't it?

OP posts:
Tobesoconfused · 26/05/2018 11:33

Not if you don't do it again! If you make it just a drunken shag as and when then that's what it will be.

YoucancallmeVal · 26/05/2018 11:36

You are being very dramatic. You had sex with someone you liked , which is perfectly acceptable and he was a nice bloke. If it turns into a drunken shag that's up to you. You don't HAVE to shag him when drunk.

rainbowdashflip · 26/05/2018 11:39

This is now just going to become a drunken shag as and when isn't it?

Are you aware that you have some control over what happens next? If you don't want it to be a drunken shag then don't do it Confused

Original poster
charlieflipped · 26/05/2018 11:43

I would of actually like a date with him, just concerned I messed up and fell into the other category now.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 26/05/2018 11:45

Not unless you want it to be (and there's nothing wrong with that if you did.)

If you don't then next time you see him you just say something casual but which makes it clear that whilst you had fun you're not looking for a repeat: "well, that was interesting, wasn't it! Let's put it behind us and say no more."

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/05/2018 11:46

Just saw your last post. If you want a date, ask him. Choose an activity which makes it clear it isn't going to be a "get drunk and fuck" arrangement and ask him out.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 26/05/2018 11:48

Do you have any way to contact him?

Message him somehow, if you do, and say something that expresses your intentions. If it was me, I'd go with something like "last night was fun; how about a film next time?", but everyone has different styles and you need something you're comfortable with.

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/05/2018 11:49

If he's the sort of man who has "categories" of women, though, would you want anything further? I wouldn't. I've gotten drunk and had sex with plenty of men on the first date and they've still been interested in "proper" dating after because they weren't misogynists who think that women who have sex on the first date aren't "relationship material."

Original poster
charlieflipped · 26/05/2018 11:55

He may not be putting me in any category. I may just be over thinking it as he didn't ask for my number or anything.

Like I said will will def see him again at some point in the next week

OP posts:
AlwaysPondering · 26/05/2018 12:01

I met my DP on a double date. We got drunk had loads of fun and had sex the first night. We forgot to exchange numbers when I left the following afternoon but he asked friend for my number. We've now been together nearly 7yrs.

It might lead somewhere but if it doesn't I don't think not having the ONS would have changed that.

TheBogWitchIsBack · 26/05/2018 12:41

It will depend on how you want to carry on. If you don't want to be 'a drunken shag' then don't be.
It's perfectly ok to sleep with someone on the first night if that's what you both want but you get to set the terms now.

lizzie1970a · 26/05/2018 12:51

He might have thought you only wanted to have sex with him as well.

You say you would have liked perhaps a date with presumably the chance of a relationship. As you didn't even have a first date with him, bumping into him on a night out with different people from what I'm reading, it will difficult to go back to that stage without you saying something. It will be easier bring up what you want if he wants to have sex again rather than he goes cold and gets it back to just a work relationship.

eightfacesofthemoon · 26/05/2018 13:08

Just casually say, I had fun last week. But would you like to do our pre-sex date now!
I did that with my ex dp. We went on a first proper date after we had dtd!
I mean it was a shit relationship in the end, but that bit worked out ok!
If he says no thanks, I don’t want anything serious then chalk it down to a fun night and nothing more. DO not start beating yourself up about it all. It isn’t a judgment on you at all x

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/05/2018 14:18

I know you can't unshag him and I might be speaking out of turn and this isn't the point of thread but is i don't think having a shag with one of your customers is exactly going beyond the joke with being professional, is it.

My dp was supposed to be a ONS. Well that's all I wanted. 5 years later. I still can't get rid of himGrin

VioletCharlotte · 26/05/2018 14:21

If he's a client and you know him fairly well, I guess he has your email address and knows he can contact you, so probably didn't think to ask for your number.

He sounds nice, ask him out! You've got nothing to lose and if he says know, well at least you'll know where you stand and won't have all this angst!

Blizzardagain · 26/05/2018 14:24

Do people still ask for numbers anymore? Maybe he plans to message you on Facebook or something

Butterflykissess · 26/05/2018 17:07

I disagree with the pthers. Sounds exactly how you said in your op and not asking for your number says t o me he didn't plan on seeing you again

EmmaSwann · 26/05/2018 17:30

If he likes you, sleeping with him like that won't put him off.

I have a friend who picked up a bloke, shagged him and vomited and pissed in his bed!

They've been happily married for 15 years!

KyloRenaissance · 27/05/2018 08:08

@emmaswann ewwww Envy

Sharkwithknees · 27/05/2018 09:49

Romance isn't dead Grin

JessieMcJessie · 27/05/2018 09:57

He knows how to contact you, didn’t need to ask for your number.

I spent the night with my husband the first time we met. We went on a date the week after and it was actually nice as there was none of the awkwardness of wondering whether we fancied each other Smile.

We’ve been happy together for the last 7 years and counting.

JessieMcJessie · 27/05/2018 09:57

But don’t sleep with him again without a proper date first.

category12 · 27/05/2018 10:13

Well he doesn't need her number, he knows he is going to see her in the week, so it probably doesn't feel like 'must get her number or risk never seeing her again' thing.

Could go either way, op, try not to stress over it.

Butterflykissess · 27/05/2018 10:18

So not talking to her for a week after sleeping with her? Hardly sounds like the start of a relationship. h e has made it clear it won't be anything more. Some low standards on here.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 27/05/2018 10:28

You were in his bed, he told you that you were welcome to stay and he kissed you goodbye.

I think he probably just didn’t even think bout not already having your phone number as he ‘knows’ you.

IF he doesn’t want to date after this, then it was never going to be a relationship worth having. Only a twat wouldn’t want to see someone again because they’d had a ons first.

You’re in his house. Leave a note with your number on it.

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