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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

She’s cheated, her mates confirmed it

56 replies

Lostmymind01 · 08/05/2018 20:30

How do I confront my married affair partner and tell her I know she’s slept with another guy without revealing that her friend told me? I knew of the plan because I saw something I shouldn’t of, but the plan changed which I couldn’t know unless I was told. It definitely happened though

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 08/05/2018 20:31

Say what now?

Aussiebean · 08/05/2018 20:32

So you want to confront the person you are cheating with about the fact you think they are cheating on you?

Or am I reading that really wrong?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 08/05/2018 20:32

Oh, it definitely happened, alright...

Bloomed · 08/05/2018 20:33
Hmm
Original poster
Lostmymind01 · 08/05/2018 20:33

I want her to know that I know and stop taking me for a fool

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 08/05/2018 20:35

Sounds complicated and possibly hypocritical. Maybe time to walk away.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 08/05/2018 20:36

You're questioning the fidelity and morals of the person you are having an affair with? Where are your morals to your partner or any guilt towards the person she cheats on...other than you, of course.

How do you sleep at night?

Original poster
Lostmymind01 · 08/05/2018 20:36

How do I say I know it happened without revealing my source?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostmymind01 · 08/05/2018 20:37

I’m single

OP posts:
WhiskeySourpuss · 08/05/2018 20:37

I want her to know that I know and stop taking me for a fool

But it's ok for her to take her poor husband for a fool... Hmm

HyenaHappy · 08/05/2018 20:38

I’ve not read such a hypocritical thread before. Ever.

On the off chance that this is genuine, maybe stop cheating and realise that cheating is utterly disrespectful.

IceSwan · 08/05/2018 20:38

Reveal your source! Drop them in it and run from this mad situation!?

naebotherpal · 08/05/2018 20:38

Tell her you know and ghost her.

You’ll be doing her husband a favour, from up there on the moral high ground.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 08/05/2018 20:38

I think you don't. Just catch her out or you'll be dunking the source and that's not fair.

bigchris · 08/05/2018 20:39

Just tell her op

Say you smelt another man on her , or found a text or something

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 08/05/2018 20:41

Who gives a shiny shit who the source is? Small fry.

Jesus Christ. You are fucking someone else's wife. If she doesn't care about upsetting her husband by shagging you, what makes you think she is loyal to you in any sense?

If you want monogamy then you've set off in completely the wrong place. Give your head a wobble.

Haffdonga · 08/05/2018 20:41

But you already know she's a cheat and she knows you know. She's cheating with you.

Original poster
Lostmymind01 · 08/05/2018 20:44

You’re all right. I just realised I like her more than I knew and feel cheated on myself which is crude

OP posts:
OyO · 08/05/2018 20:45

Is the she really a he and you usually refer to him as AP?

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/05/2018 20:45

Assuming this is true, it reminds me of a colleague who was having an affair with a married man, though single herself.

After months of nauseating swooning and plans to woo him to leave her and his kids, she was suddenly completely heartbroken, turned out he had in fact left his wife but for another one of his mistresses. You’ve never seen something so pitiful and awful.

BastardGoDarkly · 08/05/2018 20:47

Crude?! It's fucking laughable mate.

She's a cheat.

Why are you shocked.

No sympathy from me, soz.

LIZS · 08/05/2018 20:52

So she was having an affair with you but also sleeping with someone else, and presumably her h. You are now shocked/surprised/disappointed that you can't trust her? Hmm

Somekindoflove · 08/05/2018 20:59

Don’t reveal the source. Doesn’t deserve to know. I had the same thing with an ex. His best mate told me he had slept with one of my close friends. I never revealed who told me. They don’t have the power to know that. You do. You lose em how to get them. It’s not about you, it’s about insecurities. You might be fabulous but these kind of people can’t cope with that. Not your fault. It’s their own issues. Find someone who appreciates a decent person. Don’t judge everyone on what kind of person you are. I had to learn the hard way.

Somekindoflove · 08/05/2018 21:00

I know this sounds funny but Jesus Christ. Beyonce got cheated on. The most powerful woman in this world. His issues not hers.

SunshineandRain18 · 08/05/2018 21:26

This is a joke right?
What exactly makes you any better and why should anyone give a flying toss about you!
I'm more concerned about her husband ffs!