Straw Poll to settle an argument

[LivingTogetherSeparated]

My partner and I are having a long-standing disagreement:

1. Your partner has an affair with your best friend. There is no sex - just secret meetings, kissing, cuddling and declaring feelings for one another.

1. Your partner takes occasional voyeuristic photos of you naked without you knowing. They are not shared with anyone.

Which is worse and why?

They are both vile. There is no 'worse', they are equally appalling ways to treat your partner.

They're both awful. Down to the individual to decide which is "worse", it's not an objective thing with a definitive answer.

Agree with pp. There is no acceptible outcome here.

Sorry but why the fuck are you having a longstanding disagreement about this?? How utterly ridiculous.
They are both vile things.

Yep, equally bad.

Yep Zaphod has it. Both vile.Both unforgivable.

I think they’re both bad. I don’t think there is a ‘worst’!

Both! If I had to pick one then number one is worse for me

Very different. Both terrible

They're both shitty.

I think two is worse only because if you ever split up with the person, they are wrong enough to take those photos so to me in my head I wouldn't put it past them to share them post split.

But both awful.

How has his disagreement come up??

Both would mean the end of a relationship for me.

I'd personally be a lot more upset by #1.

#2 isn't cool either, but if it was just the occasional picture and he had no intention of sharing them, it would pale into insignificance compared to #1.

Two wrongs don't make a right

I think 2 is possibly worse because it's creeptastic and ignores consent - if they'll do that, they might escalate.

The other is just plain old cheating.

Yup, agree with pp, they're both just as bad in their own right.

How on earth is this something so weird a long-standing disagreement?!

It is like asking whether it is worse to kick a puppy or a kitten.

It is like asking whether it is worse to kick a puppy or a kitten

Exactly. What the feck is there to argue about. Is this some kind of sick game to trigger mumsnet?

Oh come on! It’s just a mind bender game to explore the little nooks and crannies of your personal moral code. Because of course both are terrible.

Sorry op. No fun to be had tonight. We’re all morally outraged by both because we are all so pure!

No best or worst here as both issues are wrong.

Both awful, but I'd react to them in different ways. I'd be heartbroken about the first one because of the double betrayal & absolutely livid about the creepiness of the second one.

They are similar situations as they are both founded on dishonesty.

Number 1

Both as bad as each other.

It’s shit behaviour to another person on both counts.

So, what’s the story?

Number 1