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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What do you think of this idiot?!?

72 replies

Ahhh1234 · 29/10/2017 19:10

Sorry another what would you make of what was on my partners phone type thread!

First of all i dont believe what hes told me, but just wanted to see what other peoples thoughts were as i may have this wrong.

So had a lovely day went for dinner and my partners mum babysat- all good. Went home and and me, him and DS carved a pumpkin-lovely. He then went out to say how he was speaking to a tattooist to do a cover up and showed me some examples this guy had sent him. He scrolled too far by accident and ended up on a pic of a girl in just her underwear taking a 'selfie' in a mirror. Couldn't see her face. Looked like she was in a hotel or something. He quickly scrolled off but i said what was that! He then pretended he didn't know what pic i was going on about and frantically scrolled back through other pics. I said no that pic of that girl- whats that about!

His explanation was my friend sent it too me, he sends me pics of girls all the time claiming 'she's hot' or 'im speaking to this girl'. I said ok then prove that it came from him by going on your chat and click on the media to find that pic. He then started getting defensive saying no, then tried to make an attempt to find it but surprisingly couldn't. Showed me other pics of girls sent from this guy but they would just of girls faces who were fully clothed. Then my partner said oh maybe it was from the work group chat, which this friend is also a part of. Apparently there are about 6 groups set up because 1 member keeps leaving or something and he cant remember what group it came from. So i said ok show me it came from the group-he couldn't. Then he said something about how it was a screenshot and this person sent it and why would he have it but wouldn't let me look at the pic again as i feel he was lying.

Turned it on me getting defensive, saying i was being stupid for accusing him of a girl sending him this pic. No apology or anything just straight on the attack. I said even if you are telling the truth i think its disrespectful to have those pics on your phone of random half naked women. Hes currently not talking to me, like i've done something wrong.

So what do people think of this? Lie or another explanation?

OP posts:

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 29/10/2017 19:12

He's lying.

Aminuts23 · 29/10/2017 19:12

Sounds deeply suspicious to me and his defensiveness is a bit of a give away tbh

Carrotgirl999 · 29/10/2017 19:13

Another vote here for lying. Sorry OP

Grumblepants · 29/10/2017 19:13

Unless he shows you his phone and let's you scroll through, then I'd think he was lying. Sorry.

GeriT · 29/10/2017 19:13

He wants to have his cake and eat it.

He's not got the guts to end it with you until he is over you.

Lillygolightly · 29/10/2017 19:14

Well whatever the reason for the pic, and it could be innocent what he has told you doesn't sound truthful to me. Sorry

bullyingadvice2017 · 29/10/2017 19:16

I'd bet he's cleansing his phone rapidly now!

Bluntness100 · 29/10/2017 19:16

Well clearly he’s lying like a hairy egg. Doesn’t mean she sent it to him, it could be more nefarious as in he found it online, maybe for a call girl or she’s the other woman and he’s sleeping with her, whatever the answer it’s not good,

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 29/10/2017 19:19

Yeah, he’s lying. You know it, he knows you know it, he’s going to put the blame on you, you’re jealous, untrusting, paranoid. Don’t leave it go or it will eat you up.

Bombardier25966 · 29/10/2017 19:19

Trying to play devil's advocate and can't think of any valid reason he would have the picture. If it was from his mate he'd be able to show you the message.

Re work group chat is that on WhatsApp? If so if someone leaves the group you don't start a new one, it's the same group minus one!

His behaviour now is telling too, he's deflecting. Arse.

HorseDentist · 29/10/2017 19:19

One thing to consider before you jump to conclusions.
Some messaging apps automatically save sent pictures to the camera roll. If his friend did (quite why, that may be another issue) send a picture of this girl it would have saved it without you OH being aware necessarily.

Shoxfordian · 29/10/2017 19:20

Yeah it sounds like he's lying
Also v disrespectful to have the pictures anyway

Annelind · 29/10/2017 19:21

It seems he's sulking with you because he's been caught out in something he'd rather you didn't know about.

AnyFucker · 29/10/2017 19:22

He is lying

Some woman directly sent him that pic. Why do you think that might be ?

NurseButtercup · 29/10/2017 19:25

Based upon his reaction, he's lying about somethig. He's now sulking to buy himself some time to concoct a story....

NurseButtercup · 29/10/2017 19:25

something

typo error...

Original poster

Ahhh1234 · 29/10/2017 19:26

bomb yes its whatsapp. Apparently all the lads have 'banter' with this 1 friend and he gets annoyed so leave and then they start a new group and re add this guy.

horse yea i know thats why i wanted him to go directly back onto the chats and the media of the chats he was saying it came from to prove it had come from there. But he couldnt.

Blunt hmmm maybe call girl, she was in a hotel. And a couple of years ago when i was pregnant i found in his Facebook search 'norwich escorts' and a search on a mobile number straight after. Never found any evidence that he had visited a call girl though.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 29/10/2017 19:27

Why are you with "this idiot" ?

Original poster

Ahhh1234 · 29/10/2017 19:29

Sorry so not to drip feed. We split up last December due to him messaging other women. We were split for a good 9 months but wanted to try again. He's enrolled on a course and getting counselling but now i feel like such a fool again as he is clearly taking me for a mug and thinks i'd believe him. I feel slightly upset but more angry at myself to be sucked back in!!

OP posts:

PNGirl · 29/10/2017 19:31

It's a girl he's messaged. He got away with it before so probably thinks he can again.

AnyFucker · 29/10/2017 19:31

Yes, he thinks you are a mug. He is wrong though.

Santawontbelong · 29/10/2017 19:32

What sort of counselling makes you keep your penis in your pants?
Sorry but ltb is the only cure.

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 29/10/2017 19:34

You need to LTB. He probably thinks he can get away with anything if he comes up with some story. Show him you're not that gullible.

Anecdoche · 29/10/2017 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Ahhh1234 · 29/10/2017 19:37

I was laughing when he was coming up with this story. It was almost laughable how he was trying to pretend to scroll through and find this pic. I said to him well this is deja vu!

santa apparently its for low self esteem and confidence as this is the reason he messaged these girls to get a boost! Ha! He had a meltdown last year when i found out and claimed he had some personality disorder!! Oh i'm an idiot to have let him sucked me in again!!

OP posts:

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