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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hash v wine

28 replies

XXpeepsXX48 · 21/10/2017 17:38

My man likes to get stoned every night,it’s his way of relaxing and switching off,am ok with that tbh. If I have a bottle of wine,he won’t talk to me for days. Wine was a way I could switch off and chill,and yes it could be a couple of bottles every 4 days,I never get stroppy,I do it in my own home and not in front of anyone as he is in bedroom leaving me to enjoy peace and watch crap on telly and I end up falling asleep,not off my face. He says I have a problem but ok for him to smoke a couple of very large joints every night, he is still not talking to me because I had two bottles on Monday night,it’s not fair. Today I decided to test myself to see how long I can go without a bottle of wine,I knew he smoked this stuff but shouldn’t he quit it too? We have no kids living at home they grown up. Please has anyone got any advice.many thankyous

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 21/10/2017 17:41

Can you clarify how much you'd drink in one evening?

AfunaMbatata · 21/10/2017 17:42

Doesn’t sound a happy relationship. Do you actually like each other anymore?

XXpeepsXX48 · 21/10/2017 17:44

It could be one or two depending on the stress of the day,always would not be working next day,so it would be every 4-6 days I would have wine,not every night,still too much though that I would agree

OP posts:
XXpeepsXX48 · 21/10/2017 17:44

Bottles I ment to put in there

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/10/2017 17:44

this is the best you can do with your life ? What a grim existence.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 21/10/2017 17:44

But would you be drinking 2 bottles in one evening? It's unclear from your OP.

midnightflowers · 21/10/2017 17:47

You drink 2 bottles of an evening?

TDHManchester · 21/10/2017 17:47

I couldn't share the same house with a cannabis smoker

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 21/10/2017 17:49

2 bottles per night, just for you?

DearMrDilkington · 21/10/2017 17:51

You both sound like addicts if I'm honest. His clearly got a cannabis addiction and your a binge drinker. 2 bottles of wine is far too much for one night.

Have you got any children?

Looserwoman · 21/10/2017 17:52

I would not be happy with that much wine or the weed at all. The smell in your home must be awful.

DearMrDilkington · 21/10/2017 17:53

Ah sorry just seen no kids at home.

I'd get rid of your partner and keep an eye on your drinking.

RealWomanOhYes · 21/10/2017 17:53

2 bottles a time? That is a bit hardcore

Not commenting on the weed thing as I don't have a problem with weed smokers as long as they handle it ok

sooperdooper · 21/10/2017 17:54

He's a hypocrite, 2 bottles is quite a lot but if it's not on a night you've got to get up for work and not every night it's not the end of the world

Why are you with him in general? You don't seem to like each other in general, what redeeming features does he have?

Cookingongas · 21/10/2017 17:54

I’m sorry but you sound like you have a problem. Two bottles of wine 4-6 days a week is a huge amount. I do believe you have a problem.

Your husband also consumes an addictive substance, an illegal substance, in large quantity and is also, based on your op, addicted.

QuiteLikely5 · 21/10/2017 17:55

Talk about the pot and kettle!

He's got a nerve!

RealWomanOhYes · 21/10/2017 17:56

Maybe both agree to cut down? 2 joints isn't a lot but if he's smoking it every night and you're not drinking every night then it is a bit rich for him to moan.

Eolian · 21/10/2017 17:56

I'd say neither was ok tbh. Two bottles of wine in one night is a hell of a lot. And one bottle a night is also a lot if you're doing it regularly.

Annoyed5678 · 21/10/2017 18:00

I don't think the weed or the drink is your first problems here, he's getting trippy, not talking to you by sounds of it your living seperate lives within your house and you need to find out why its like that, what's causing so much stress you need to switch off. I would both give up your vices and start talking to each other see where you go from there

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/10/2017 18:03

What’s good in your relationship? Because it sounds like he’d rather be stoned and judging you for being pissed. All in all not sounding healthy.

Great that you have decided to take a while off drinking. It might give you some clarity about your drinking and his drug use.

dorislessingscat · 21/10/2017 18:05

You both have substance misuse problems. You should see your GP.

Branleuse · 21/10/2017 18:11

I think tbh that youre in more immediate and real danger if youre necking two bottles of wine a night, than he is from a couple of spliffs, although in a relationship you would hope that you would both be on each others side rather than point scoring

catnoir · 21/10/2017 18:32

So your drinking up to 2 bottles on average once a week? I wouldn’t class drinking once a week a drink problem as a lot of people drink at least once a week and have no problems? Maybe the 2 bottles is a little extreme and you must be very drunk with that amount? Smoking week every night means he’s mentally addicted to it and I would consider that a problem.

catnoir · 21/10/2017 18:33

Read ops posts? She’s not drinking every night, it’s average once a week.

Desmondo2016 · 21/10/2017 18:36

It's not the frequency though but the volume. 2 bottles in one night is binge drinking which is just as dangerous as frequent lower level drinking. They are both addicts.

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