'I hardly slept at all', bollocks you didn't...

[Zaphodsotherhead]

Does anyone have an OH with this condition? It's an actual medical condition (I think, but can't remember the name of). My OH will lie down and fall into a dead sleep within literal seconds (while I'm still tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable) and be snoring and twitching in his sleep all night, keeping me awake. He'll then wake up and tell me that he hardly slept a wink all night and was tossing and turning, awake all the time (which I absolutely know not to be true, on account of having been kept awake by him all night).

He somehow perceives his ten second awakenings to last for hours. Can anyone remember what this is called and does anyone else have a partner who does this?

Yes! And also artificially inflates the number of times he's been disturbed by the kids.

Oh yes - and then would tell me how it was great DC had slept all night - and if fact had been up for hours

Oh good, not just mine then. He also affects to be totally baffled if something happened during the night (wind so bad that it knocked down a tree opposite, for example, with concomittant noise) that he didn't hear. Because, obviously, he was awake all night...

Pseudoinsomnia

Arseholitis!

It really annoys me. Dh also seems to blame the fact that he was dreaming, on being tired?! It's like because he was dreaming of work for instance, he didn't get a rest??

Oh my goodness this is my DP too! He says he’s been awake and he hasn’t because I’ve lain awake next to him listening to him sleeping.

I think he genuinely believes that everyone has fantastic sleep every night except him.

Well I think you all shouldn't be so sure you're right!

This is like my relationship in reverse! Not every night, but relatively frequently i wake between 3am and 4am, and that's me awake the rest of the night. I see every few minutes on the clock and lie awake thinking about our business/our VAT or tax bill/any family issues/anything at all. It's the longest few hours just trying to stop my brains and get back to sleep.

I say to my DH in the morning re my lack of sleep and that I am shattered and he says every time he's woken I've been sleeping!! Just because my eyes have been shut and I've not been talking doesn't mean I've been sleeping.

I SHOULD FUCKING KNOW IF I'VE BEEN AWAKE OR ASLEEP. Seriously seriously fucks me off.

jessie this is a thing. I know when in been having a particularly stressful time at work or home I stress dream about for e.g. completing my report to deadline and when I wake I feel like iv not had any rest at all.

No but joking aside, OP, if he wakes up feeling unrested he should go to his GP and ask for tests to be run. It can be sleep apnoea or something like that.

However I'm pretty sure this happens to me. I'll feel like I've been awake constantly for the night but then I'll mention it to DH and he'll go No, you were snoring and/or dead to the world and kept taking up my side of the bed and I couldn't shift you.

Oh yes I've got one here too! Apparently sleeps crap although his snoring suggest otherwise & he dies the whole 'oh DS slept well last night' no he fucking didn't, you just didn't hear him as per usual

My DH also falls asleep in seconds (literally!!) then snores like a train so I can't fall asleep & when I wake him to tell him he's snoring, he says 'how can I be snoring if I'm not asleep!' Go figure

sleepapnea .........

Fairly sure it's not sleep apnoea as he feels rested when he wakes up (but falls asleep on the sofa/has 'chair naps' like an old man, so maybe he should have that investigated).

And no, HappyGirl, he really is asleep when he thinks he's awake. I've spoken to him and got nothing but a grunt and a duvet-snatching turn over, I've sometimes been awake worrying about stuff and tried to initiate a conversation and he'll give two one-word answers and then back to snoring/sleeping yet swear he was awake for the entire time... he really isn't. But he thinks he is.

Ah okay, then I don't think it's a medical condition, just a normal condition of sleep I reckon. Most people have those cycles of waking enough to notice something and then going back to sleep at night. It's just we don't normally remember them.

My Mrs literally get double the amount of sleep I get some nights but then always complains she's tired and has to have a nap when she gets home from work!.

My DH does this. Snores all night then says he hasn’t slept at all.

He also complains that I apparently stretch out onto his side and take up most of the bed when, in reality, he stretches out onto mine. My usual sleeping position is now one leg resting on the bit of the divan that sticks out. This morning, he woke up with his head on my pillow and still had the nerve to say he doesn’t have enough space!

He can have all the space he wants in the spare bloody room.

Maybe it's me but I don't get the whole 'nap' thing (maybe because I can't sleep anywhere other than my bed, at night). It annoys me, I think. When I come in the room and he's just sitting there, head on chest, asleep, and I think 'just go to bed earlier, you idiot'. But then, however tired I am, I can't nap.

Maybe I'm just jealous...

Pseudoinsomnia is a thing. Your deep sleep is interrupted by the brainwaves associated with anxiety and being wide awake. In fairness to him it is awful!

Thanks, PNGirl, that makes me feel a bit more sympathetic. But I don't know what he's anxious about, he's very very 'flat' emotionally, doesn't really do anxiety. Or excitement. Or much emotion at all, really.

I know this sounds as though I'm not very fond of him, I am really. He's just hard going sometimes.

the lightbulb has gone on. I'm off to google this.

My DH has anxiety and claims to not sleep. Sleeping tablets 'didn't make a difference' and literally every time I wake with DS he's bloody snoring.

The husband, the snoring, the falling asleep in a chair at the drop of a hat, the moving about in his sleep....

He sleeps with a cpap machine now.

Why don't you get him a fitness/ sleep tracker? Mine shows me when I'm in deep sleep, light sleep and awake throughout the night - its quite interesting to see actually.

Nothing like a little bit of proof to dispute his claims!!

and he thinks his bloody fit bit overestimates his sleep, he talks about how useless it is.

head desk

He might have sleep apnoea.. sounds like it from your message. My ex had that..it was a total nightmare.

He might have sleep apnoea.. sounds like it from your message. My ex had that..it was a total nightmare.

Yes this is my OH too!!
Only just this weekend he had a cat nap on the chair for half an hour & woke up saying ‘ah I was just drifting off’. I told him he’d been out of it snoring for half an hour & he then gets annoyed with me saying ‘how would you know?!’
Err because I can see and hear!!!
It is really irritating me at the mo especially as I’m up & down feeding DS (4months Old) in the night & OH is out for the count then wakes telling me how terrible his night was!
Does your OH get annoyed when you tell him otherwise?