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Original poster

I love someone else

34 replies

Pinkroserabbit · 09/10/2017 02:07

I was sat at the bar when someone came over to me, held my hand and looked in to my eyes, they introduced themselves and asked me if i woukd be there friend. They told me I was pretty and lead me to the dancefloor and sweapt me off of my feet

They asked me to the beach and to another dance else were and I went back to meet thier dogs.

Ive feel pretty hard but I have a partner, but we want different things. My partner only ever wants to hug but nothing more than that. I love my partner but im not in love with my partner.

Ive not left in love like this since I was a teenager and the person at the dance ive fallen head over heals for, but I dont know if they feel the same.

I dont know what to do. I dont want anyone to get hurt but at tge same time I cant stop thinking about the person at the bar and I want them in my life. I never planed for this to happen. Ive been loosing sleep and I cant stop thinking about that magical evening and Im praying I will see them again.

Ive been with my partner for 5 years now and our lives are tangled up together. I just long to hold my new friend again.

Im smitten and I dont feel thst way about my partner what do I do?

OP posts:
LilyMcClellan · 09/10/2017 02:36

Honey, I think you need to get a grip.

You have no idea who this person is and yet you're considering leaving your partner of five years for them.

It's called limerance. Google it.

If you have problems with your partner, by all means try to solve them through counselling, and move on if you can't solve them, but don't try to make this mysterious stranger the magical resolution to your stale relationship.

HappenedForAReisling · 09/10/2017 02:55

jamesrsl is that you?

Original poster
Pinkroserabbit · 09/10/2017 03:07

Its not limerance if two people like each other.as a womn I really fancy her and i think she feels the same

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkroserabbit · 09/10/2017 03:08

Woman. Sorry for the typo

OP posts:
catnoir · 09/10/2017 03:14

😂😂😂 @HappenedForAReisling

LilyMcClellan · 09/10/2017 03:21

Way to miss the point. Which is that you need to sort out your actual relationship's problems like a decent person rather than fantasising about a near-stranger.

Also, you "don't know if she feels the same" and are "praying you will see her again", as stated in your OP. So there is a high degree of uncertainty around this person. Classic limerence.

Original poster
Pinkroserabbit · 09/10/2017 03:34

I didnt come here to get trolled

OP posts:
graziemille · 09/10/2017 03:44

OP
Is there a chance you will see this person again? Mutual friends? Do you know details about them, phone number etc?

LilyMcClellan · 09/10/2017 03:54

Nobody is trolling you.

You have a partner. If your relationship with your partner is not working out, the appropriate thing to do is seek counselling if you hope to fix it, or leave if you don't.

The fact that you have developed a crush on someone else is irrelevant. You're not free to pursue them. Until you are, focus on your actual relationship.

tinytemper66 · 09/10/2017 03:59

Is this an opening for a cheap novel?

MissBax · 09/10/2017 04:08

How old are you? This sounds like the start of a teen romance book or film Hmm

Lagerthaisfabulous · 09/10/2017 05:49

You were in a bar and a complete stranger walked over grabbed your hand and lookes you in the eyes and asked you to be there friend.

And your reaction was to fall for them? Thats not normal adult behaviour.

Schmoopy · 09/10/2017 06:45

Your response should have been "no thanks, I'm not interested".

Partly out of respect for the partner you already have, but partly out of respect for yourself.

I cannot believe that a grown adult would fall for this utter nonsense and believe it was something real. It's the nastiest, tackiest, slimiest, most embarrassing way of being picked up I can imagine.

RainyApril · 09/10/2017 06:46

Your relationship must be terrible to fall for a creepy stranger, using their best pick up line to great effect for the umpteenth time no doubt. Leave your partner kindly and with dignity if you are unhappy, then being free to pursue this person if you must.

onefortheroadplease · 09/10/2017 06:47

Was this recent?

PrincessPlod · 09/10/2017 07:01

‘Be my friend’ sounds nuts or a sexual predator either way I’d stay clear. That’s not how adults speak unless they want to appear vulnerable so you trust them/guilted into speaking to them

TheNaze73 · 09/10/2017 07:58

I think you should end it with your partner as you’re clearly not happy & not getting what you want from your relationship.

Don’t pin your hopes on the other woman though. It all sounded very Mills & Boon

ShatnersWig · 09/10/2017 08:51

Bizarrely written posting.

Interesting first posting on MN too.

You sound weird and so does this other woman. Grow up.

Sohurt17 · 09/10/2017 08:57

How old are you OP?

Namethecat · 09/10/2017 09:09

This is the stuff of romantic novels, a chance meeting,a deep long glance, a promise, a longing . You were swept away by the moment - nothing more. In all honesty you'd be better off working on your relationship or going single for awhile to work out why it was so easy for you to get taken in by this person. If they had meant this you'd know their number at least.

SandyY2K · 09/10/2017 09:25

End your relationship and be free to pursue other options.

Tiddlywinks63 · 09/10/2017 09:28

BS
Sounds more like you're bored with your partner and this is your fantasy 🙄

SparklyMagpie · 09/10/2017 09:36

Well i'll bite.

Leave your DP for a start regardless

I assume you have contact with this free spirit?

Blackkitten · 09/10/2017 09:41

Probably one of the weirdest posts I have ever seen on here. This most be a wind up, yes?

JWrecks · 09/10/2017 10:05

You're dreaming. You're in a fantasy.

How long ago did you meet this person?

I know people who have done exactly what you're describing: "fallen for" a total stranger who did a bunch of silly romantic sounding shit one week, and ended their marriage and upturned their life and DP's life over it. Moved out of the family home and got completely caught up in the whirlwind of a brand new romance.

Universally, they wake up one day miserable, having realised they were not in love with the person but with the IDEA of the person, the IDEA of a new illicit romance. They realise they don't even know this stranger they've woken up next to, and the little they do know they actually don't really like. They realise that once comfort and familiarity began to set in, all the exciting romamtic stuff was overtaken by real, mundane life, because life is real and fantasy is not.

Universally, they wake up one day realising they've made a huge mistake, been very stupid and immature, they've left - and hurt - somebody they truly loved and would have been happy with, and they fucked it up too bad to ever repair it.

You don't know this person. If you're really not in love with your DP, then break it off now, for both your sakes. But this silly idea of a teenage romance is a fantasy, nothing more. It's not going to go on like this forever, or even for much longer. That's just not realistic.

Leave your poor DP, but DON'T leave them for a fantasy. Leave them because you think you've fallen out of love and are not happy, but DON'T leave them for a stranger. Leave them so they can find somebody who loves them properly, but DON'T leave them to dive straight into another relationship.