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Original poster

I'm embarrassed because I've never...

33 replies

qwertyuiop1234 · 19/07/2017 21:18

I feel really embarrassed to say that I've never kissed with tongues before, I remember when it started becoming a 'thing' at school and people made such a fuss about it that it terrified me and I never dared to do it! Everyone was always enquiring whether so and so was good at it, so I was scared incase I was bad and people would find out.

I'm now mid to late twenties and I still don't have a clue in that department Blush
I've got a mental block against doing it because firstly I don't have a clue what I'm doing and I'm too scared to try incase it's terrible! I should've mastered it by this age surely.

I've had men try and it's really embarrassing to have to pull away etc and sometimes explain why. It's frustrating because I think I'd enjoy it too Blush

I realise it isn't too important because I've had relationships and had children without ever needing this life skill Grin but I feel like a weirdo also...

I need help!

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 19/07/2017 21:21

If it helps my friend had had 2 dc and never seen a penis!!
When she started dating she cried when she saw the new bf naked!!
She was mid 20's.
There is hope for you yet op!!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/07/2017 21:24

I don't particularly enjoy kissing with tongues. Feels stupid to me. I am also mid twenties, in a committed relationship and have a DC. DP has never batted an eyelid about it.

HollyHollyHo · 19/07/2017 21:24

Oh you poor bloody thing

It's easy, honest!

It's more of a massaging their tongue with yours, NOT putting your whole tongue in their mouth over and over. Mix it up, stroke their tongue with yours, peck on the mouth and a small nibble of their bottom lip, keep your tongue between hard (horrible if very firm tongue poking around) and soft (just sitting there limp in your mouth)

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/07/2017 21:25

I'm also a bit Shock about the 2 DC but never seen a penis. How did she manage that?

IP1974 · 19/07/2017 21:34

Justhadmyhaircut WHAT????

IP1974 · 19/07/2017 21:41

OP I don't think I've really kissed with tongues since being a teenager. Not that I don't like it when it's done properly but prefer without. Nothing to worry about either way Grin

onlyhumanafterall · 19/07/2017 21:42

I know someone with a phobia of tongues and he kisses literally with a closed mouth.

LittleBirdBlues · 19/07/2017 21:44

Don't go too deep. Smile

GinaFordCortina · 19/07/2017 21:47

Why don't you just tell your next partner and get him to teach you? I'm sure he'd be more than pleased to help you out!

Original poster
qwertyuiop1234 · 19/07/2017 21:57

I think I'd feel embarrassed to ask a partner to teach me! Unless we'd been together for ages and were comfortable together but I can't seem to find anyone decent but that's a whole other thread Blush

I wish there was a tongue kissing expert I could hire who wouldn't judge and would look very much like Ryan Reynolds now I'm being weird

I just wish I didn't have this silly mental block!
I'm the same with dancing, my body won't let me dance when other people are watching I just freeze.

I need a new brain Grin

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 19/07/2017 22:00

If it helps my friend had had 2 dc and never seen a penis!!
When she started dating she cried when she saw the new bf naked!!
She was mid 20's.
There is hope for you yet op!!

I've just choked on my drink?

How, why, what?!

OnionKnight · 19/07/2017 22:01

No idea why there's a random ? there, I did choke on my drink Grin

Original poster
qwertyuiop1234 · 19/07/2017 22:06

The never seen a penis thing is quite bewildering! Grin
I suppose if they're a just a do it in the dark and only the dark kinda person that can happen...

Tbf it's been a while since I've seen one properly, when I was younger I didn't mind the lights on but now I look bad naked so...

OP posts:
GinaFordCortina · 19/07/2017 22:06

think I'd feel embarrassed to ask a partner to teach me! Unless we'd been together for ages and were comfortable together but I can't seem to find anyone decent but that's a whole other thread blush

Really? I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about though! It makes perfect sense as you've explained it, and I expect the man I question would quite enjoy being the one to teach you and also happy to not miss out on it in general.

GinaFordCortina · 19/07/2017 22:08

I like to keep the lights low as I'm more comfortable that way but I've found dh he no qualms about strutting around. I'm impressed she was able to avoid the show

PurpleTraitor · 19/07/2017 22:10

I dislike tongues so haven't kissed with them for 20 years so you aren't the only one OP.

OMFL · 19/07/2017 22:12

I wouldn't worry love... it's gross imo. Dh usually has a go but it just makes me gag.

PickAChew · 19/07/2017 22:17

You have to be in the mood to kiss with tongues. I don't really go for it any more unless I'm as pissed as a fart and super horny

It doesn't help that some men like to bludgeon you with the things! FGS your tongue is supposed to be erotic and teasing, not something to choke me with.

GinaFordCortina · 19/07/2017 22:31

I'm surprised by how many people aren't interested in it because for me it's necessary to sex

Notmyrealname85 · 19/07/2017 22:35

So true Pick - it's really only when you're v v in the mood! Deffo start with generally teasing around the mouth - kissing and pulling gently and only bottom or top lip/both...work up to tiny bit of tongues... maybe get tipsy if you drink!

To be honest I hate kissing with tongues most of the time, makes me feel like I'm being suffocated! Even with just a little tongue, don't know why Hmm

I'm embarrassed to say I often question whether I've ever truly been in love! Isn't it terrible!

Original poster
qwertyuiop1234 · 19/07/2017 22:43

It's definitely not something I'd want to do all the time but I'd just like the option!

With my last boyfriend we sometimes used to go to kiss each other lovingly then slip our tongue in just to annoy the other. So I can do unexpected tongue attacks just not serious lusty ones Grin

I miss having someone to annoy Sad

Notmyrealname85 - I often wonder the same. Although I always feel in love but then they turn out to be idiots eventually. So then I wonder if they didn't turn out to be a dick, would I have realised I didn't REALLY love them years down the line!

OP posts:
GinaFordCortina · 19/07/2017 22:56

Oh what I can't do is tongue sucking. I have tried on two memorable occasions and made a tit of myself.

Buthewasstillhungry · 20/07/2017 05:50

qwertyuiop1234 are you me?!
I built it up in my head as a teen so much and when I eventually got drunk enough tried it, it was always quite a horrible turn off.
I absolutely hate it tbh and with my DH, never do it and he doesn't seem to give a hoot!

As for dancing I need to be pretty drunk or hyperactive to do it. I am naturally shy so I think that's the reason.

ABCFamily · 20/07/2017 06:22

I'm surprised by how many people aren't interested in it because for me it's necessary to sex

That's a different set of lips Wink

Frankswife87 · 20/07/2017 08:44

Me to op, I'm 30 years old and have never attempted it, I'm to scared. Luckily my husband doesn't care. Previous boyfriends have tried and it just makes me panic and gag Blush

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