Really need some opinions please

[Kaykay86]

Hi all im having major issues in my relationship which started a few months ago. Ive been with my partner for 3 years and we used to get on great but recently his behaviour has changed and im looking for a reason behind all of this. He always used to come out with me wherever i went now he wants to stay at home on occassions, is trying to get me out of the house alot and wants to go out on his own all the time which makes me suspicious. He even wants to know every detail as though he wants to know whats going on as if to let someone else know. I know that may sound paranoid but i feel that there is something going on and when i ask he rants and raves. The other week he had quite a bit of money and i didnt see a penny of it even though we usually share. He even wants to sleep on the couch more now theres no affection at all.

Hes also causing alot of arguments and has started name calling. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks guys

What would you like us to say ?

The ranting and raving in response to your questions seems very off. I think if you're seeing a big change in him and feel something's going on then something probably is.

Other woman. Sorry, OP. That is my opinion.

More than likely an OW, I would start looking for evidence.

Don't let it get to 4 years?

Thanks for replying Hilda. Im at a loss as to what i have done really and i love him too much to walk away it just seems that the love for me has gone all of a sudden and that hurts and im so angry. I was just looking for opinions on what others think and would do in my situation thats all because i have no one else to talk to friends etc so it means alot for someone to reply :)

I think you need to speak to him, I wouldn't jump to conclusions and suggest that he is seeing someone else, because he may not be. I see you mentioned that he had a quiet a bit of money and you didn't see any of it... perhaps he has gotten himself into a gambling.

Thanks for all of the replies i was thinking another woman too

It sound like he is emotionally and physically checking out if your relationship, although he isn't telling you yet.

I'd do some digging and see what you discover!

Ive out right asked him who else hes seeing and hes onto the fact that im trying to find out and now hes purposely going out alone when he knows ive got a child in bed and i cant go out and follow him its driving me crazy and he loves the fact it annoys me

Pack his bags the next time he goes out. He is being extremely disrespectful to you, it seems like he's trying to push you to see how far he can go. So sorry that you're going through this.

Your self respect must be very low to stand by while someone takes the piss to that extent

He's flaunting his disrespect of you. He despises you. But you love him too much to walk away ?

Oh dear

@Kaykay86 him doing things on purpose is emotional abuse, I hate to hear women going through these things.

It is only you that can change this situation, do not let him treat you like this, I know it may be hard but you need to put your foot down.

Coming from a man, probably another woman. He's losing interest because it's somewhere else. Sorry but all flags point to it. Time to get your detective hat on.

I keep trying to make things work because i love him so much i know i can do better than being treated like this but i dont want to have wasted the time weve spent together because its been great when weve got along. He keeps doing this with the arguing and name calling but when the dust settles he tells me he loves me. He keeps telling me to go but i dont want to. Im so angry but i want to stay here so that no one else can take my place if that makes sense

That is so sad to hear

He doesn't want you

He's trying to make you end it so he doesn't have to be the bad guy

Do you have a line in the sand at all ?

Is your child with him? Is that what ties you to him or is it something else?

What you're experiencing with him is abusive and horrible. Once someone shows contempt for you the relationship is gone. There's no going back.

You can get so much better. Anybody who 'replaces' you will be the one losing out because he's an arsehole who'll make them miserable. Just like he's doing to you.

Life is too short to be wasted on people like him.

How can you love someone who deliberately taunts you by going out when your child is home in bed with you?

i love him too much to walk away

Nonsense. He's horrible. Love yourself and tell him to eff off.

Thankyou for all of your replies it means alot as i have no one to talk to. Ive started packing our things but as usual hes telling me ive pushed him away its my fault and its not what he wants. Im so confused

He's playing complete mind games on you. Please get strong, stay strong and don't fool for or tolerate his behaviour and treatment. Read your posts back to yourself.

You say you don't want to waste the time you've already spent but what about your time ahead!?

I wouldn't waste anymore.....

He's even told you to leave, he's checked out OP

Is your child his also? Take care of yourself and your child, you shouldn't put up with this crap